23 year old male, never had a date, girlfriend and ofcourse virgin

[Despair1]

Hi everyone I've been visiting this forum for quite some time now, and have been really impressed by how helpful and generous members on this forum are, so I decide to start a thread regarding my predicament. It is kind of long so I'll really appreciate if someone reads it all.

 

Some background :I'm 23 years old male from Pakistan which is a muslim country and very conservative and oppressive one specially in some parts like where I live. Male and female are segregated almost everywhere in banks, schools, colleges, parks,restaurants etc. Women are generally not much encouraged to get higher education that's why even in co-ed colleges(except medical colleges) the male to female ratio is like 15 males to 1 female(even in bigger cities) . In most parts women cover up aswell and don't intermingle with men at all.

 

So here I am 23 yrs old and still virgin, single, never even had a date or romantic prospect, hell never even had a real female friend, it's quite the norm here , some people do have girlfriends but relationship is most of the times limited to texts and phone calls. And to even get that kind of relation with a girl/woman you have to search like crazy on facebook etc, screen like thousands of women on facebook and literally harass them till they accept your friend request , then you can develop that relation from there but I can't spend countless hours doing just that neither do I get satisfied with a relationship that relys on just phone calls.

 

It gets so frustrating and lonely at times I just don't know what to do. To make matters worse I am a closet apostate of islam (if I come out I can get killed , ridiculed, disowned by my family and friends, long story) and I am deeply inspired by western culture, their determination, thier views on individual , human and women rights, how you can be a free individual in west and where most people treat you for who you are rather than your religion etc, where you can live your life the way you want rather than what society wants to see or the religion tells. All this makes it even more difficult to be satisfied with the kind of relationships that prevail here and it gets harder to make even guy friends because we dont have anything in common normally like different taste in music, movies, different views on life, women , human rights etc.

 

if anyone can guide me as to how to get out of this predicament please do it, I'll be highly thankful to you. One solution is to get out of this country but that will take me time so that I can save some money for it.

 

Regards

Edited February 19, 2014 by Despair1

[pteromom]

I know very little about life in Pakistan.

 

Are there any groups or areas that are more culturally open? Any way to meet people who share more of your views?

 

I feel for you!

[Despair1]

I know very little about life in Pakistan.

 

Are there any groups or areas that are more culturally open? Any way to meet people who share more of your views?

 

I feel for you!

 

Thanks for reply.

Yes there are ,but class divide is evident here in pakistan, there are areas and people (although even they can't say something that is considered blasphemous over here) , so the thing is a middle class person like me can't hang out with people like those neither can I afford to live in those areas, they drive European vehicles, have their higher education in usa, canada , it's just a different world although it constitutes just about 5-10% of pakistani population.

[Scales]

Yeah get out of the country if you can. I know its hard to consider because you leave your family and your life behind, but really the longer you live there the longer you suffer the fate of being someone you feel you aren't. Definitely leave the country, your quality of life will improve dramatically as long as your are flexible.

[Despair1]

Yeah get out of the country if you can. I know its hard to consider because you leave your family and your life behind, but really the longer you live there the longer you suffer the fate of being someone you feel you aren't. Definitely leave the country, your quality of life will improve dramatically as long as your are flexible.

 

Hi. Well the problem is I dont have that kind of money right now on me, it'll take atleast 2 years to save some money, as soon as I save up enough money I'll leave as soon as possible :-(

 

thanks for the reply btw

[nais]

What are the chances of you leaving to study abroad? I applaud your current status of being a Virgin, many Westerners truly wish to have kept it for a lot longer than they did. I would advise that you also consider other ways to leave vs. just saving the money.

You may be able to teach your language in another country, or if you know other languages see if there is some sort of traveling opportunity where they will send you to that country and pay for your stay. a friend mentioned something similar to this a few weeks ago, her friend did this and now lives abroad. They sent for her immediately, have to ensure your papers are in order like passport etc... but she is well taken care of.

 

 

Good Luck!

[Despair1]

What are the chances of you leaving to study abroad? I applaud your current status of being a Virgin, many Westerners truly wish to have kept it for a lot longer than they did. I would advise that you also consider other ways to leave vs. just saving the money.

You may be able to teach your language in another country, or if you know other languages see if there is some sort of traveling opportunity where they will send you to that country and pay for your stay. a friend mentioned something similar to this a few weeks ago, her friend did this and now lives abroad. They sent for her immediately, have to ensure your papers are in order like passport etc... but she is well taken care of.

 

 

Good Luck!

 

Chances of leaving for study: zero.

Keeping virginity intact for a longer period is one thing, it's quite a different thing when nen and women are kept apart and you kind of develop an obsession for the opposite sex because we almost never get to jnteract with each other. There is even a seperate transport system for women coming into being in larger cities, yes! You heard that right seperate buses , that's how much strong segregation is here.

And I don't know from which country your friend came from, but in pakistan , as it is a third world country even jobs that pay like 200 U.S$ a month are almost hard to come by, even for a highly qualified person like me let alone the jobs that send/transfer you overseas.

Edited February 27, 2014 by Despair1