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How do introvert men meet women if all their favourite activities are done alone?


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I think it's finally dawned on me that it's impossible for introverted men to meet women. Where I work, I'm surrounded by women in their 50s on average (and anyone who's young is always taken).

 

Point 2: Activities I (and most introverts I know) love doing are usually done alone, or are simply overfilled with men:

- Movies.

- Reading.

- Watching sports.

- Editing videos.

- Sleep.

- Go to work.

- Hangout with buddies.

 

Has any other introvert ever gotten past this? What's your secret?

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Philosoraptor

Go to a movie. They have free movie screenings out in a lot of areas where people watch movies outside. Talk to random people there.

 

Read at the book store, at the library, etc.

 

Go to an actual game.

 

Join a video club. Plenty of media editing clubs out there.

 

Snuggle up with a stranger and lay your head in their lap (really, don't do this)

 

Talk to people at work. You'd be surprised how many people you don't know yet and how many of them have friends who need to be fixed up.

 

Go hangout somewhere. Find a neat place and hang out there. You can hang out with your buddies at the movies, at a game, at the book store, etc.

 

In the end, don't be lazy and make excuses. If you want to meet someone you need to get out there and make it happen.

 

 

I'm an introvert. I did things exclusively by myself and met a lot of women. I would just put in my headphones and walk around lakes as I enjoyed hiking and the outdoors because it was peaceful. Only thing that changed was the location. Met my now fiancee there.

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Frank2thepoint

There meetups dedicated to movie lovers and book lovers. You can easily find like minded people that have these hobbies, talk about it, and are potential for dates. The first time I went to the movies by myself was for Captain America. I realized how many women go to movies by themselves. Not sure if any were single, but they were there by themselves.

 

Many of the hobbies you mentioned, both genders enjoy alone and like to share their experiences with the hobbies with others. You just have to find them.

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I think it's finally dawned on me that it's impossible for introverted men to meet women. Where I work, I'm surrounded by women in their 50s on average (and anyone who's young is always taken).

 

Point 2: Activities I (and most introverts I know) love doing are usually done alone, or are simply overfilled with men:

- Movies.

- Reading.

- Watching sports.

- Editing videos.

- Sleep.

- Go to work.

- Hangout with buddies.

 

Has any other introvert ever gotten past this? What's your secret?

 

 

 

You don't need 'ideas' from others. You need to stop wallowing in your 'woe is me' mentality and show some initiative.

 

You have a brain.

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Go to a movie. They have free movie screenings out in a lot of areas where people watch movies outside. Talk to random people there.

 

Read at the book store, at the library, etc.

 

Go to an actual game.

 

Join a video club. Plenty of media editing clubs out there.

 

Snuggle up with a stranger and lay your head in their lap (really, don't do this)

 

Talk to people at work. You'd be surprised how many people you don't know yet and how many of them have friends who need to be fixed up.

 

Go hangout somewhere. Find a neat place and hang out there. You can hang out with your buddies at the movies, at a game, at the book store, etc.

 

In the end, don't be lazy and make excuses. If you want to meet someone you need to get out there and make it happen.

 

 

I'm an introvert. I did things exclusively by myself and met a lot of women. I would just put in my headphones and walk around lakes as I enjoyed hiking and the outdoors because it was peaceful. Only thing that changed was the location. Met my now fiancee there.

 

Your advice is the best, simplest and most practical I've read so far. And believe me, I'm the first to say to my friends or students "buck up. Pull your socks up and get on with it". But I'm starting to realize that introverts really got the short end of the stick with this.

 

Let me just give you my thoughts on the difficulties of each of those options. Even if they are perfectly reasonable.

 

1. Go to a public screening/movie OR attending a sporting event:

a) It's winter in Canada. -20 degrees outside. So, at this point, the only option is an indoor screening. Not much room for socializing there. Just like any regular cinema showing.

b) Sporting event: I'd say the vast majority of people who go to these things go with a) their date, b) their family or c) their close friends. I've been to many sporting events, and other than a random high five from a stranger, I don't think I've ever spoken to one. Actually, I've never seen anyone actually engage in conversation with a total stranger at a game. Other than : "Nice pass eh?".

 

 

2. Talk to people at work: This is great advice. In fact, I had a colleague try to set me up with their daughter recently. I found that to be very awkward and forced though. I don't think this is just being picky. It reeks of desperation on her (and her daughter's) behalf. I'd like to date someone who I personally chose and like.

3. Hiking: I love this idea. But, realistically, it boils down to: "You need to walk around forests and lakes, for maybe years, and hope you bump into someone".

 

I am fine with doing what makes me happy. Even without ever meeting anyone. But, realistically, the chances of doing so are very very low.

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3. Hiking: I love this idea. But, realistically, it boils down to: "You need to walk around forests and lakes, for maybe years, and hope you bump into someone".

That's why you'd join a hiking group.

 

My suggestion.

 

Find things that women like to go out and do, and think about which of those you'll hate the least.

 

I'm going to start taking a Salsa dance class next week because there are tons of girls there.

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Philosoraptor
Your advice is the best, simplest and most practical I've read so far. And believe me, I'm the first to say to my friends or students "buck up. Pull your socks up and get on with it". But I'm starting to realize that introverts really got the short end of the stick with this.

 

Let me just give you my thoughts on the difficulties of each of those options. Even if they are perfectly reasonable.

 

1. Go to a public screening/movie OR attending a sporting event:

a) It's winter in Canada. -20 degrees outside. So, at this point, the only option is an indoor screening. Not much room for socializing there. Just like any regular cinema showing.

b) Sporting event: I'd say the vast majority of people who go to these things go with a) their date, b) their family or c) their close friends. I've been to many sporting events, and other than a random high five from a stranger, I don't think I've ever spoken to one. Actually, I've never seen anyone actually engage in conversation with a total stranger at a game. Other than : "Nice pass eh?".

 

 

2. Talk to people at work: This is great advice. In fact, I had a colleague try to set me up with their daughter recently. I found that to be very awkward and forced though. I don't think this is just being picky. It reeks of desperation on her (and her daughter's) behalf. I'd like to date someone who I personally chose and like.

3. Hiking: I love this idea. But, realistically, it boils down to: "You need to walk around forests and lakes, for maybe years, and hope you bump into someone".

 

I am fine with doing what makes me happy. Even without ever meeting anyone. But, realistically, the chances of doing so are very very low.

While each and every options has positives and negatives, it all comes down to the desire to meet someone. As I said, I'm introverted myself. There is no reason to make excuses or find faults in the proposed methods. Have to learn to look at it as "nothing is guaranteed, but it's got higher odds than doing nothing".

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That's why you'd join a hiking group.

Yup. I was amazed when I joined a walking group, how many young single women there were. It's very very easy to talk to lots of women. You know you have a common interest, there's plenty of ice-breakers (where are you from, how long have you been walking, do you walk often, where have you been on holiday etc), and they all WANT to talk to someone instead of walking in silence. Now I lead walks which gives me even more to talk to them about (I have to do the "sales pitch" which is always good for a laugh), and makes me look like I have authority and power lol. It's sometimes annoying being the walk leader though, you have to stay at the front and can only talk to those who come to talk to you.

 

I'm going to start taking a Salsa dance class next week because there are tons of girls there.

YES... virtually all dance classes have more women than men, they absolutely love when a single guy comes in. Normally due to the numbers mismatch some girls have to dance the man's part... so when they get a real guy and can dance the lady's part, they love it. Plus physical contact, and the ice is already broken when you go to the bar in the break.

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Disillusioned

Yeah, I spend a lot of my spare time around the house, making things, fixing things, etc... but I make time for meetups.

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