Big Blue Box Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 In the thread "In his 30s and no LTRs" Ruby Slippers made quite a few good points as to why women and men should avoid those that are over 30 and lacks relationship experience. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/229035-his-30s-no-ltrs Hell, I am a 38 year old man and I have never been in a serious relationship, only dated. I have been friend zoned every time with the exception of my first and last date, and dummy me bailed out of both of those. Only today do I know why I was friend zoned, I am obsessive, pushy, and clingy to the point of being a stalker whenever I have dated. The one thing I disagree with Ruby Slippers on is lack of relationship experience is an orange flag. Lack of relationship experience should be a huge red flag, one that is too big to ignore due to the reasons I mentioned earlier. So do avoid anyone and everyone that lacks relationship experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanwolf Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 In the thread "In his 30s and no LTRs" Ruby Slippers made quite a few good points as to why women and men should avoid those that are over 30 and lacks relationship experience. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/229035-his-30s-no-ltrs Hell, I am a 38 year old man and I have never been in a serious relationship, only dated. I have been friend zoned every time with the exception of my first and last date, and dummy me bailed out of both of those. Only today do I know why I was friend zoned, I am obsessive, pushy, and clingy to the point of being a stalker whenever I have dated. The one thing I disagree with Ruby Slippers on is lack of relationship experience is an orange flag. Lack of relationship experience should be a huge red flag, one that is too big to ignore due to the reasons I mentioned earlier. So do avoid anyone and everyone that lacks relationship experience. Much like a person looking for a job. The employer insists on prior experience but, how will they get experience, if no one is willing to give it to them?. You can't just magic experience from thoughts 11 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Much like a person looking for a job. The employer insists on prior experience but, how will they get experience, if no one is willing to give it to them?. You can't just magic experience from thoughts That's why you become an entrepreneur Trailblazers always win 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 That's why you become an entrepreneur Trailblazers always win So basically, get experience with yourself? AKA, masturbate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Big Blue Box Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Much like a person looking for a job. The employer insists on prior experience but, how will they get experience, if no one is willing to give it to them?. You can't just magic experience from thoughts I do agree with you there. However, if someone is wanting a relationship bad enough they can work hard in their 20s and even teens to date and enter into a relationship. On top someone should already have experiencced at least one LTR by the age of 30. That way he or she should know exactly what should happen when things start to go south. When two inexperienced people that are into their 30s, 40s, etc. start dating each other with a hope of eventually entering into a relationship it will be nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. It will end bitterly only a few months after they start dating. This is not always the case, but it will be the case at least 90% of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I do agree with you there. However, if someone is wanting a relationship bad enough they can work hard in their 20s and even teens to date and enter into a relationship. On top someone should already have experiencced at least one LTR by the age of 30. That way he or she should know exactly what should happen when things start to go south. When two inexperienced people that are into their 30s, 40s, etc. start dating each other with a hope of eventually entering into a relationship it will be nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. It will end bitterly only a few months after they start dating. This is not always the case, but it will be the case at least 90% of the time. Since the odds of meeting a woman well into her 30's or 40's with no experience are extremely small, there is little danger of the scenario you described. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 So basically, get experience with yourself? AKA, masturbate. Depends - I have a burgeoning marketing department that will attract some customers Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Depends - I have a burgeoning marketing department that will attract some customers Liken sending out naked pictures of yourself? Wait, we're still talking about relationship/sex experience stuff right? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Liken sending out naked pictures of yourself? Wait, we're still talking about relationship/sex experience stuff right? Nah, that kind of aggressive marketing will ensure you go bankrupt and have to get welfare just to survive. (Welfare probably means the occasional compliment here and there, maybe a friendzone if you're lucky). Marketing = presentation. Grooming, style, body language, movement etc. Anything external that you present, is your marketing . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 (edited) That's why you become an entrepreneur Trailblazers always win The early bird may get the worm...but the second mouse gets the cheese. And yes. If you haven't had a long-term relationship by the time you are in your 40s it is a red flag. It means there is something blocking that person from being in a long-term relationship. Edited August 21, 2012 by YellowShark 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 much like a person looking for a job. The employer insists on prior experience but, how will they get experience, if no one is willing to give it to them?. You can't just magic experience from thoughts exactly!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Meg717 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I'm glad this question got brought up...I've been starting to notice a lot of guys who I meet online that either haven't been in a relationship in a "couple of years" or have never been in a relationship that lasted past 10months... So example: what if a guy was in a LTR from 22-24 and is now 30 and hasn't been in a long relationship since the breakup at 24...still a red flag? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I'm glad this question got brought up...I've been starting to notice a lot of guys who I meet online that either haven't been in a relationship in a "couple of years" or have never been in a relationship that lasted past 10months... So example: what if a guy was in a LTR from 22-24 and is now 30 and hasn't been in a long relationship since the breakup at 24...still a red flag? Why not find out for yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Big Blue Box Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 I'm glad this question got brought up...I've been starting to notice a lot of guys who I meet online that either haven't been in a relationship in a "couple of years" or have never been in a relationship that lasted past 10months... So example: what if a guy was in a LTR from 22-24 and is now 30 and hasn't been in a long relationship since the breakup at 24...still a red flag? That woulod be more of an orange flag. It still shows that the person was willing to work things out. There is no excuse for not having even a single LTR by 30, or a single date by the age of 20. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 That woulod be more of an orange flag. It still shows that the person was willing to work things out. There is no excuse for not having even a single LTR by 30, or a single date by the age of 20. Gee ... thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
VodkaShots Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 That woulod be more of an orange flag. It still shows that the person was willing to work things out. There is no excuse for not having even a single LTR by 30, or a single date by the age of 20. Are you for real? It's not as uncommon as you think and it isn't an orange or red flag. Some people from strict religious/cultural backgrounds don't start dating until their early 20s, for example. Other people have their own reasons, from focusing on their education and work to problems with their lives. Hell it could be that they used to be really fat or something and couldn't get dates but then worked and lost the weight. Anyway, it's easy to lie about past encounters or old relationships. Chances are a new partner isn't going to care enough to quiz you on it too much. No experience sexually can also be sorted out.. find a ONS or get a prostitute. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Meg717 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Why not find out for yourself? So far I have and it hasn't ended well...They either just want a FWB or they end up being really insecure...but I wasn't sure if it was these guys or the lack of experience. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I'm glad this question got brought up...I've been starting to notice a lot of guys who I meet online that either haven't been in a relationship in a "couple of years" or have never been in a relationship that lasted past 10months... So example: what if a guy was in a LTR from 22-24 and is now 30 and hasn't been in a long relationship since the breakup at 24...still a red flag? in that case (and any other) the idea from any guy's perspective is to figure out what you want to hear...and lie about it, or dodge the question altogether. fact is there's no upside to being honest with any woman you just met. that's a lot of why dating sites are for the most part a waste of time for men. no good comes from people having a plethora of information about each other from the get go. Link to post Share on other sites
Meg717 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 They are insecure because you girls are so judegemental. Yes, he probably was insecure bc of past situations, but I liked him..I told him I didn't want to be a FWB (bc it was headed in that direction) and he went off saying that he was never going to find anyone and that by 30 he thought he'd be married with kids and doesn't see it happening...etc... Link to post Share on other sites
8mia8 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 fact is there's no upside to being honest with any woman you just met. that's a lot of why dating sites are for the most part a waste of time for men. no good comes from people having a plethora of information about each other from the get go. Completely disagree. OLD is much more worth my time if someone is honest and knows what to write. I'd rather know someone's morals/principles, if they have hobbies and what they are, what they are looking for, etc up front than waste my time for months to find out. Link to post Share on other sites
8mia8 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 However, if someone is wanting a relationship bad enough they can work hard in their 20s and even teens to date and enter into a relationship. On top someone should already have experiencced at least one LTR by the age of 30. That way he or she should know exactly what should happen when things start to go south. A romantic relationship isn't everyone's number one priority in life. Life experience as well as other types of relationships can also help one navigate a relationship once one gets into one. Some people haven't had a LTR because they haven't found someone compatible. This is much more preferable to me than someone who has had many LTR because they don't know what they are looking for. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 (edited) So basically, get experience with yourself? AKA, masturbate. I look at it more as you make moves and do things to get over humps. I'll be honest. I think any guy who is in his 30s and a virgin should go pay for sex. Hire an escort and get over that hump. Feel what it's like and thus carry on a new man. Secondly, I still say many inexperienced men out there should seriously invest money to fix the problem. There are real-life "Hitch" dating coaches that make a living helping guys. Hire one, listen to him/her, do the things and get out of "constantly friendzoned" and into "met Ms Right". Talking on a board isn't the same thing. Third, I think women should stop thinking a guy who hasn't been in a long RL is instantly a guy who wants to remain single or whatever "playa" fantasy you believe. Start thinking perhaps while he seems sweet, kind, cute, and wonderful...perhaps he was the guy who was constantly passed up. My own fiancee still can't understand why so many women rejected me in my life, but she's not complaining. The reality is 20something women are different from 30 and 40something women. Maybe in your 20s you were obsessed with the athletic stylish exciting guy at the club, but now in your 30s you're happy with just a decent looking guy who wants to settle down, and thus you see the past guy as "ewww...what was I thinking?" So now imagine that "decent looking guy who wants to settle down" in his 20s...constantly rejected, barely ever getting to the point of a RL before the girl flakes and moves on, and perhaps even still a virgin. That's why he's lacking in experience...and if your choices are guys with little experience versus actual playas who have decreed they will remain "single and bangin" for the rest of their lives, you women then might want to stop complaining about the state of males and instead help build men out of these inexperienced guys. Edited August 22, 2012 by grkBoy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 To me, a woman in her 30s with a long list of failed long term relationships is much more of a red flag than anything else. Doesn't make her a better long term relationship partner at all... Screams out 'sex and the city' if anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Big Blue Box Posted August 22, 2012 Author Share Posted August 22, 2012 A romantic relationship isn't everyone's number one priority in life. Still should be a priority early on in life even if it is just to get the experience for later on when he or she is ready to settle down. Dating in someone's teens shouldn't be so serious. Relationships shouldn't come until both are in their twenties. That gives someone ten whole years to get through college, start a career, and find a potential mate. Life experience as well as other types of relationships can also help one navigate a relationship once one gets into one. Gee, that's like saying "You can gain experience in paining by learning music" Both are types of art much like the different types of relationships. However by comparing both, much like the different types of relationships, is nothing more than comparing apples with oranges. Some people haven't had a LTR because they haven't found someone compatible. That is what the whole dating process is for, to find someone that is compatible. This is much more preferable to me than someone who has had many LTR because they don't know what they are looking for. Wrong, those that had LTRs will know what to do when things start to go south due to past experiences. Those that don't have any will just panic, nitpick about everything, etc. This usually happens just after the "honeymoon phase" of the dating process is over. Almost every time inexperience is coupled with mental and emotional problems so that will mean once the relationship is unofficially over the idiot with no experience will start to act clingy, to the point of being a stalker. Trust me, I know as all of the problems I have stated is what has happened with not only me, but several others I know. If a twenty-some year old wants a LTR bad enough they will find a way to have one. Otherwise he or she should just remain content being single. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 22, 2012 Share Posted August 22, 2012 Some people haven't had a LTR because they haven't found someone compatible. This is much more preferable to me than someone who has had many LTR because they don't know what they are looking for. Ha! I'll just use that from now on. She asks me, "So why haven't you had a girlfriend yet at 30 yeas old?" I respond, "Oh I just haven't met anybody I was compatible with." Link to post Share on other sites
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