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OK, I'm a college sophomore and she's a college freshman. We met in Metal Club and we first hung out alone last night in my dorm, playing video games, watching youtube videos and reminiscing about our childhoods. Neither of us made any moves, but I noticed her biting her lip a little bit. Unfortunately, I was stupid and didn't hug her afterwards or anything. So I'm thinking about hanging out with her sometime soon, maybe to DC and walking around and then trying to make a move on her. What should I do? How should I go about this?

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I suck when it comes to touching girls. I have no idea as to when I should touch her on the arm or anything. Any advice on that would be greatly appreciated.

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skydiveaddict
OK, I'm a college sophomore and she's a college freshman. We met in Metal Club and we first hung out alone last night in my dorm, playing video games, watching youtube videos and reminiscing about our childhoods. Neither of us made any moves, but I noticed her biting her lip a little bit. Unfortunately, I was stupid and didn't hug her afterwards or anything. So I'm thinking about hanging out with her sometime soon, maybe to DC and walking around and then trying to make a move on her. What should I do? How should I go about this?

 

 

I would contact Hokie. He knows all about DC and where to go

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So, it actually turns out we saw each other at a costume party on campus, Wednesday. I was in my costume, she wasn't. We only saw each other for a couple of minutes, but she dropped by only to see me (she was off to another party), we had a nice little chat, then I hugged her goodbye (she hugged back). The next day, we have a little conversation, and then we get to this:

 

 

me: youre always good!

 

her: i am?...

 

me: well, you always have a beaming smile on your face

i think that means youre good

 

her: hmm ok

i'll take that

though a lot of the times, the happiest people are often the saddest inside

 

me: true

ive heard that phrase before

that used to apply to me

big time

is that true for you?

 

her: it might

 

me: only reason i ask is because you seem like the happiest person i know

 

her: haha

 

really?

 

well i am happy

i think?

it's tricky

 

me: what do you mean by tricky?

 

her: it's tricky

thats what i mean

 

me: do you want to talk about it?

i dont understand what youre saying

 

her: nah it's ok

it's not something i really talk about

 

me: ok, well, if you ever want to talk about it, im here

 

her: ok thanks :)

 

To me, it seems like she's trying to keep depression hidden inside, but I don't want her to be like that. I'm getting nervous about her. Thing is, we're seeing each other again the next night at a concert the Metal Club is putting on (we're both members). So, I have a few questions for you guys. How do I:

 

a. Get her to really like me at the party?

b. Take her back to her dorm?

c. Know when I should kiss her?

d. Get her to talk about this depression she may have, but not force it out of her?

 

I look forward to your help!

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I would contact Hokie. He knows all about DC and where to go

 

I tried looking him up, and couldn't find him on the website. Are you sure he is a member of this website?

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Maybe its just be being a hopeless romantic, but I think its cute! I think you should kiss her next time you guys hang out... You'll obv know if she's feelin' it

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Also, if you think she may be depressed, I wouldn't bring it up immediately. Hang out a few times to get to really know her, then youll be able to recognize certain cues that may indicate she's depressed. But your there for a different reason, to bring the light out in her, your obviously into her, so focus on that! Like I said wait until you really get to know her then get personal and you probably won't even have to ask, she'll want to tell you if something is up.

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well if your alone like you were in your first post, that would have been a good opp to kiss her. Be swag about it tho haha... u can go straight in for the kill (gently I might ad) or do something sweet like kiss her on her cheek

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I asked to see her Halloween costume on Friday after the concert, and she said maybe, since it all depends on if she has anything afterwards. I really hope she doesn't, she will look amazing in her Sailor Venus costume, I just know it! And, I think that would be the perfect time to kiss her, showing off her figure in a sexy costume, alone in her room!

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I think this is sweet. :)

 

I wouldn't worry too much about depression. Most people have their worries and sadnesses. I can see that you really do want to get to know her though and that's great. She will talk to you in time as you get to know each other better. It's a natural development in a relationship to reveal more as trust develops.

 

I don't think you need to rush to kiss her but you could get used to touching her and vice versa by holding her hand at first. If you are walking along and have to go up steps, for example, go a little bit ahead and hold out your hand to help her up. Let her hand go after a while naturally, and then pick it up again at a natural point later. I think if she accepts holding your hand for extended periods, she would accept a kiss later. It's easier to pull someone close if you are holding their hand anyway :) It's all about getting comfortable with each other. As long as you don't expect everything to happen instantly, you'll be fine. Just take it a step at a time and let her get comfortable at each stage before going further.

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So, party #1 was on Friday. Basically, I only talked to her a few times, I mostly talked to other people. All the guys were hitting on her, but me. So, I left alone, as she went with other people.

 

Yesterday, I decided I'm not doing any homework. So I ask her if I can come along to a party she's going to. She said it would be fine, as long as there's enough room. At first, they said yes, but then the home owner said there wouldn't be enough room, so I couldn't go with her. I decide to go to another party with another friend of mine, just have fun there. She said I could probably join her the next day to a party though.

 

So, today, I'm going to try to go to a party with her again, but I get the feeling that I may be trying too hard to hang out with her. Should I try to go to a party with her, or just let her go with her friends? And should I go with her to the party, what should I do to get her to hang with me a lot of the time?

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hi kidney guy I think your problem is you are insecure. It sounds like she's into you but not crazily she may just see you as a friend. The problem with you is I don't think you've ever been in a relationship before so you have no sense of composure. You're going head over heels for a girl who you just hugged you know? But it's ok you're 2 years younger than me and I was pretty naive back then too.

 

My advice is step back and approach this girl with some confidence. talk to her like she is an eqaul don't be overbearing or care too much. You're reading way too much into this situation, the more confidence you have the more she will take notice to it. Women love confidence it's the one qaulity you can't go wrong with. I've written some older threads on confidence I believe. However, the majority of confidence issues stem from personal insecurities which were engrained in you over the years, fears and rules you follow almost subconsciouly now. You need to get inside of yourself and find ways to be more comfortable and proud of who you are.

 

you have a long way to go young paddawan, but don't be too hard on yourself during this time.

 

I just think if you continue this mentality you'll be lumped into the 'nice' guy catergory, and that's the worse place in the world to be. And believe me I've dated so many girls, and the nice guy mentality may be respectable to women, but it's not attractive to 90% of them.

 

good luck feel free to private message me if you have more questions concerning women, I think I'm pretty good with them in general.

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hi kidney guy I think your problem is you are insecure. It sounds like she's into you but not crazily she may just see you as a friend. The problem with you is I don't think you've ever been in a relationship before so you have no sense of composure. You're going head over heels for a girl who you just hugged you know? But it's ok you're 2 years younger than me and I was pretty naive back then too.

 

My advice is step back and approach this girl with some confidence. talk to her like she is an eqaul don't be overbearing or care too much. You're reading way too much into this situation, the more confidence you have the more she will take notice to it. Women love confidence it's the one qaulity you can't go wrong with. I've written some older threads on confidence I believe. However, the majority of confidence issues stem from personal insecurities which were engrained in you over the years, fears and rules you follow almost subconsciouly now. You need to get inside of yourself and find ways to be more comfortable and proud of who you are.

 

you have a long way to go young paddawan, but don't be too hard on yourself during this time.

 

I just think if you continue this mentality you'll be lumped into the 'nice' guy catergory, and that's the worse place in the world to be. And believe me I've dated so many girls, and the nice guy mentality may be respectable to women, but it's not attractive to 90% of them.

 

good luck feel free to private message me if you have more questions concerning women, I think I'm pretty good with them in general.

 

You pretty much hit the nail on the head. I've never been in a relationship before, and I have had severe self-esteem problems for a long time. I'm just now starting to get out of the low self-esteem part of my life, but at times it's still hard for me to be confident. Well, tonight will be different, guarantee it. I've never asked a girl to dance, but I will tonight. I've got to get close to her, make her feel loved, and get her to love me back. No if's, and's or but's. I think this is the last shot I have for a good girl for a while, and I won't blow it, dang it!

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Here's the thing, she couldn't find a party she wanted to go to, and was really disappointed when she realized she couldn't go do anything. I offered to keep her company, or just run around campus being idiots. But she was really exhausted from the weekend and she would be too old outside in her costume. So, we never went to a party together. We're probably going to a concert on Tuesday with other members of Metal Club, so there may be another time I can get closer to her. What should I do on the way up, while at the concert, and afterwards to get her closer to me?

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I can't go to the concert tomorrow night since I have a big test to study for, and a lot of homework and studying to do as my grades have been dropping recently. So, just going to have to wait until at least Thursday to see her again. I still want to ask if she wants to go into DC with me sometime soon, but not this weekend as it will be too soon since asking to hang with her a lot last weekend. So I'm thinking about the next weekend. How should I go about doing this?

 

PS: I will ask the guy who can help me with DC for some advice!

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So I'm going to ask to see if she wants to come over again this weekend, but I'm a little nervous about asking if she wants to do the same thing over again.

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Kindney stop!!! wow just stop man. seriously. Go back and read everything you wrote. YOU ARE TRYING TO HARD. YOu missed the point shayan was trying to make. Just be you, don't worry about impressing her. Listen to her when she talks. If she said to you she loves roses. DONT BUY HER ROSES. Relax man. You do you first. If she says no to this weekend(probably will have other plans) then don't even call her for a couple of days.. and when you do just say something like. "Hey was just thinking about you and wanted to say hello. :)" Thats it. See how she replys. Always seem busy to her. If she ever says "Hey what ya doin?" never say nothing or being bored.. Always be studying, with friends, cleaning, going out, etc.. Be busy, then invite her to do something you're going to do anyway whether she comes or not. Trust me... Girls may think your cute, but you want them to think you're sexy and confident. Cofidence doesn't mean getting the courage to ask a girl out. It's about knowing how to have a good time and aren't afraid to make the best of any situation. This will attract the kind of girl you're looking for. Smile.

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We hung out twice this weekend! First time not alone, second time alone. First time was a concert on Friday night, but she wasn't feeling very well, and we only had a couple of times to talk one-on-one. Then we got something to eat tonight at the dining hall right by us. It was a tad awkward at first, since I was in formal dress (I had come back from covering basketball) but after I explained to her why I looked like that, she was OK with it. We had a nice chat. Now, I won't ask her to do anything with me for a while, since I'm going to be pretty busy until Thanksgiving. So, after seeing your comments, you guys are saying I should be a tad more aggressive, not a weakling, and not try too hard. Thing is, I've never done that before, so how should I go about that?

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