"Is online dating really worth it?"

[sailingforever01]

So, I am home from college for the summer. After I a bad breakup (longterm) from my boyfriend at college in March, I decided to sware off dating for a good while. Come the summer time, I felt I was ready to go "fishing in the pond once again" Under the advice of a friend, she said I should try putting up one of those online adds. Seeing as how she seemed to be quite an "internet whore", I figured if she can get all these dates, it's worth a shot.

So I did it, I put up an add. I found a photo and wrote some psycho babble about myself and a few days later "Bobbo" wrote his way into my life.

I was so excited. For the next 3 weeks we would talk through instant messanger or write emails. He seemed nice. So he finally called me and we carried on a good conversation. After about a week of him calling me everyday, we decided to go out to dinner.

Meeting him was really nerve racking since this was my first "online encounter". The date went well, good conversation, lots of smiles and laughs. He said he would call the next day and he did, but I haven't heard from him since. I imed him a few days ago, but he had to go.

I am just confused, does he like me or no? To me it's just weird how a guy can be so interested in you on the computer and once he meets you, things can change instantly.

Should I call him or just let things pan out? What are peoples views on online dating anyway?

[Curt]

I think he's not really showing much interest.

 

Don't take it personally though. Sometimes these online dating things work just as well or better than the traditional method. Nonetheless, sometimes there is an element of "make believe" in online relationships of any kind. Sometimes it's just easy to see online personalities as disembodied text or voices on a PC.

 

Then, when the real person shows up, complete with body, and all the rest, things change. Personal behaviors, general attitudes, body language, etc. can clash in terms of what the other person's desires/needs/whatever are, and hence ... well ... no lasting connection occurs.

 

Happens all the time in these online things. I think I would guage his lack of contact to be lack of interest, unless other realities come to light.

 

LOL

 

Ya know, even as I typed that section above, something popped into my mind. I wondered if his being distant actually comes back to a topic that I commented on in a previous post by someone else: Could it be that him not calling/messaging right away is just his way of not appearing too needy/clingy?

 

Somehow I doubt it but...hard to know for absolute certain.

 

Out of curiosity, what was the reason he gave you for the abrupt end to your Instant Message Session when he had to go ? Did he explain himself at all or ?

 

And give some more details on the conversation on the date itself, was it strained in any way, or good flowing, easy chat...etc.

 

Peace.

 

Curt.

[PurpleAngel]

NO don’t call him. He needs to show YOU that he is interested and is willing to go the miles with you. Don’t worry about not seeming interested, it’s the thrill of the chase! Not a bad thing. Look don’t be confused, if he doesn’t call then be happy that you have discovered sooner rather than later that he is not for you! Don’t put him in the habit that every time he doesn’t call you, you will automatically call him… let him WANT YOU and come GET YOU!

 

I don’t have an opinion on online dating, if it works for you great. Suppose for me, I like to meet people the old fashioned way!

 

Remember if it is not him, it will be someone else!

 

Good Luck

~PurpleAngel~

[sailingforever01]

Curt,

As for the date itself, conversation went really smoothly, there seemed to never be any awkward movements and I mean that. We talked about everything from the wat to cell phones- silly stuff, there was even constant laughing and smiling. In all, it seemed like I had known him as an old friend who I had known for years.

It was weird, when he said goodbye, it was just a simple hug, which made me think he wasn't interested, but then he followed it with saying "I will call y ou the next day" and he did. After he ended that call, he said he would call again. Instead I saw him online, so I imed him. In the middle of conversation, he explained he had to go meet his friends, they were going to hang out and then he signed off. It's been a while now, I don't think I said anything wrong, but boys are boys.

 

Purple Angel,

That's what I have been doing, I know there will be someone else, thanks for the advice, dating is a crazy institution.

[Curt]

dating is a crazy institution.

 

Amen to that, sister!

 

[sailingforever01]

For any that has commented on my situtation, here is the outcome. Well on thursday, he go online and by this time, he hadn't been online all week. So I bit the bullet and imed him. He calimed the **** had gone down and that he didn't feel like talking ot anyone. I asked him what happened and was he still interested. I told him I liked him. Now he said he liked me, but didn't want to get involved now. My intuituins were right, but of coarse I had to ask him just to be sure. Just sucks, I know he's not worth it at ll, but I did really like him. So I said goodbyre and hacen't chatted with him since. I guess if he was truely inerested he would try to talk to me. Back to the dating pool.

[PurpleAngel]

I guess if he was truely inerested he would try to talk to me.

This is true and don't contact him anymore! You deserve ONLY THE BEST so be grateful that this has happened now. SO you know and can concentrate your energies in finding a WONDERFUL partner!

 

Good Luck!!!

 

Back to the dating pool.

Yes me too *sigh*… back to it!

 

~PurpleAngel~

[km82794]

What are peoples views on online dating anyway?

 

 

Just my opinion...

 

I'm sure there are many people out there who were lucky enough to find someone nice off the internet, but unfortunately, I was not one of them.

 

About five years ago , I met a guy from my home town off the internet. We knew a lot of the same people and he actually was a (so called) friend of my bosses son. After about 3 months of talking, I agreed to meet him.

 

Things went great for about a month, but he had this girl roomate who hated me for some unknown reason, even though i never even had a single conversation with her. Now I have to add, before I get ripped apart here, that they slept in separate rooms and appeared to have a strictly roommate relationship only. They only talked about the rent and fought about things like who's turn it was to do the dishes.

 

So anyway, after about a month he became very possessive and I decided to break it off.

 

From there, he tried to get me fired from my job, he stalked me, threatened my life, my family's lives. He got a hold of my Visa # and put $1,000.00 on it. This went on for almost 6 months with many, many, many police reports being filed.

Finally he gave up.

 

He was just arrested last May for kidnapping the (so called) roommate he had been living with at the time I was dating him. He tied her to the bed and raped her for three days. The paper said the roommate had bruises from head to toe.

 

As it turned out, this girl was never his roommate, she was his girlfriend who finally left his psychotic ass like I had. No wonder she hated me, God, it never hit me. I'll say it myself, hulloooo!

 

So to answer your question, I now think online dating is insane. Who knows who you will meet, it could be Ted Bundy for all you know.

 

If you continue, just be careful!!!!!!!

 

I would also like to ask, could this Bobbo be married or have a SO?