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Everytime it seems that i talk to a girl for a while it seems they try to ignore me afterwards. I know i'm a little wierd but the conversations are to me just normal conversations. To add to that, i've suspected my "friend" talking behind my back to the same girl and alwasy saying something bad about me. I'm just confused here. I couldn't really imagine he would do that but i know whenever he says something, it's usually about me to the girl and then the girl seems to kinda ignore me afterwards. But whenever for say i find them online and im them they talk but only if i talk to them first sort of deal and don't really show any signs of not wanting to talk that i know of. I've also thought maybe they think i'm trying to hit on them when most of the time just want to be friends so they ignore me then. Any ideas what going on?

 

Lemme rephrase the online part, They NEVER IM me unless i IM them first and because of that i loose interest in talking to them all together.

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I've had periods where I have talked to women online and they VERY rarely will IM you first. The online community is full of some very wacky and dirty people. Unfortunately, behind the veil of the computer screen, the worst can come out of people. There seem to be a subset of perticular nasty and greasy folks (mostly men) who lurk around and don't give a stuff.

To contact someone, a woman needs to have a fair idea that the person they are contacting is not one of these. What helps is to have a detailed profile with a photo. Then at least they have some idea about you, and if they like the way you look as well you may get more IM's too. Women get swamped with IM's regardless....its like there are many hunters out there, and they are probably looking for something casual too, or just want to get off talking dirty.

Offline it's a bit more complicated, but the golden rule is to show interest in the other person and expect nothing in return. Maybe you are coming off a little needy or expectant and thats a turnoff because then they know you are merely judging them on looks. It's important to appeal to their intelligence.

 

Oliver

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These are people i know in person though. There really is way too much to explain what is going on so i guess it's just one of those things to live with. It seems way to often there just talking because i am and could really care less overall. But yet they say there my "friends". I really think theres a back talker in the midst though.

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  • 4 weeks later...
rainingonsunday

I know exactly what you mean by your friends talking about you behuind your back. My friends do the exact same thing. They cant stand to see me talking to a guy I like, so they tell him all kinds of things about me, which makes the guy seem to just "vanish" when I am around. I have learned to evaluate the friends you have now. Maybe its time for some new friends how are true friends.

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