10-4 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 In reality, I understand that girls are everywhere. Hell, attractive girls are everywhere too! But right now in my life, the only place I consistently go is work. I'll be going to school again but that is months down the road. I'd like go out and meet some girls besides the ones at work. Like I said, I realize that girls are at book stores, coffee houses, gyms, the city, etc... But to be honest, I don't drink coffee, I'm tired of going to the book store, and when I'm at the gym it seems like me and the others are serious about our workout. When I'm out with a group of friends I'm usually more focused on them so I don't find myself approaching women with them either. I'm trying to work on this area of my life though and get more experience so I want to meet a lot of girls right now. I'm 20 right now so bars are out too. As far as volunteering goes, I work full-time and will eventually be going to school so I won't have much time. Plus, I really don't want to get myself into a commitment like that and then have it not even work out. Do you guys who go and approach women often go out specifically to do it? I find that when I'm out and about, if I have a reason to be at a store, I'm focused on that reason. On the other hand, if meeting women is the only reason why I'm there, I probably look a little out of place. Can anyone lead me in the right direction? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Morden87 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Here's what i think. You are looking for excuses to justify your reasons to not approach girls. However, lucky for you, I know this website that could be of help. http://approachanxiety.com/ Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Well, I just meet myself a real nice guy at a coffee shop. and he was the one that approached me. I'm not a big coffee drinker so.. it's not often that I frequent coffee shops to begin with. So perhaps it was fate? Just mabey when your out and about and not looking you wil run into someone that captures your attention enough to ask out. I dunno??.. but good luck. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Can anyone lead me in the right direction? Thanks. last nite i went to a pub quiz that had 120 people, around a third were females. tonite i'm going to a wine-tasting which should be 80% females Link to post Share on other sites
Ramrod Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I score at the local grocery stores. First of all, it's easy to see who is shopping for one at the grocery store, two, nothing makes better conversation between two people than food likes and dislikes. Whether it's similarities or contrasts, you make a little convo with them and it comes off as friendly and casual. Chicks go to bars and expect to be hit on, but in the grocery store, you come off being less of a scumbag, especially if your like me and tend to be provocative with grocery store humor and physical comedy. e.g. When you see either a package of hamburger rolls, a rack of ribs or watermelons in her cart, "those are some really nice looking buns", that's a huge rack you have there" or those are some pretty nice sized melons'. There's also the opportunity to figure out some of her preferences, say your both side-by-side in the produce isle, you could hold up a cucumber and ask, is this a big cucumber or a small cucumber? Which ones do you like? ETC> You get my drift LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 10-4 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 Thanks guys. As far as approach anxiety goes, that's an interesting website. But I don't think it's anxiety that is my problem. Let me just say this: I'll go places a lot and just won't see a girl who catches my eye. For example, I'll go to Starbucks and there will just happen to be a bunch of guys and older ladies there or something. I get my drink and leave. Mission incomplete. Or I'll go get some cereal at Target and I'll see 2 attractive girls: 1 with her boyfriend and the other with her parents. Mission incomplete. When I'm at the gym, both I and the other people seem to be very focused on our workouts. I love working out so I tend to be focused. However, I've gone there to try and meet people before too but it feels awkward because everyone is dead silent there working out. Mission incomplete. At Barnes & Noble I'll see a bunch of women who look either too old or too young for me and maybe I'll see ONE who looks just right....with her boyfriend. Then I'll get bored and start reading a book. Now I'm not focused on women anymore and I drag it out for an hour and a half only to have MISSION INCOMPLETE. The reason why I know anxiety isn't my problem is because at work I have no problem approaching women. The place I work at is HUGE and there's a lot of opportunity to talk to women there. But that is work and I'm a good worker so I can't do it ALL there. This is why I want to approach at other places too. Do you guys just linger around places with the sole purpose of finding women? I ask because honestly, when I go places, I'm usually there for 5 minutes and in that 5 minutes, I don't run into that many attractive women in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
lazlow99 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I can relate, I'm 20 too. I'm the same, I'm not shy about speaking to people, but it needs to be in the right situation for me to approach someone. I think a lot of it has to do with luck, where you happen to meet a girl and start chatting to them. I wouldn't feel comfortable walking up to a girl in a public place with the sole intention of chatting her up. And in a bar thats a good way to get your face punched in by someone. You get that vibe when its mutual between the two of you and its comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Miranda1 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I score at the local grocery stores. First of all, it's easy to see who is shopping for one at the grocery store, two, nothing makes better conversation between two people than food likes and dislikes. Whether it's similarities or contrasts, you make a little convo with them and it comes off as friendly and casual. Chicks go to bars and expect to be hit on, but in the grocery store, you come off being less of a scumbag, especially if your like me and tend to be provocative with grocery store humor and physical comedy. e.g. When you see either a package of hamburger rolls, a rack of ribs or watermelons in her cart, "those are some really nice looking buns", that's a huge rack you have there" or those are some pretty nice sized melons'. There's also the opportunity to figure out some of her preferences, say your both side-by-side in the produce isle, you could hold up a cucumber and ask, is this a big cucumber or a small cucumber? Which ones do you like? ETC> You get my drift LOL! Haha, that is so funny! The only time a man said anything about my groceries was when a much older man commented on the only thing I was buying - cat food - with, "Well, at least the cats are being fed!" Haha... Link to post Share on other sites
Shnuggles Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I know how the OP feels. Gets harder with age I find. At 32 I have been having no luck at all and its frustrating. Recently I have joined a gym and buying a mountain bike later today. Hopefully I can join a bike club of some sort to meet people that way. When I bought my motorbike, I thought I would join a bike club and meet some girls then too. Turns out there is a girls only motor bike club and so thats really stuffed that plan up. Another problem is, I dont want to pick up some girl thats too young. Its hard to tell a woman's age most of the time and dont want to come off as a... well... 'one of those guys'. Some good comments above so Ill have to remember the advice and try it out. I shop for food all the time so I should keep an open mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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