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Me: The dateless loser.


Hopeless214

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Hey I was surfing the web and I found this site and I just wanted to get some feedback and maybe some advice from some people that are experienced or whatever. I really want to know why I never seem to get invited to things and why girls tend to not like me the way I'd like them too. To start off I'm a Sophmore in High school. I'm black but I'm different than the stereotypical black kid which has ( I find) Made my high-school experience worse. I'm well read but don't show off, I have a sense of humor says my friends. I don't know if I actually really have friends or if I'm just tolerated. It's been bugging me for a while and I don't know what to do. I'm not soft spoken but I'm not an attention whore. I guess my clear hatred for anti-stereotypes and the mainstream as come back to bite me. Anyway I'm interested in a girl and I'm so frustrated because for one she's two year's older than me and also I've never been in a relationship before. Recently over the summer I've just spent my time sleeping and listening to music. I don't know what to do and it's really driving me into a depression and I don't want that. I'm a bit shy and that's a problem too. Please someone help me out.

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Hey I was surfing the web and I found this site and I just wanted to get some feedback and maybe some advice from some people that are experienced or whatever. I really want to know why I never seem to get invited to things and why girls tend to not like me the way I'd like them too. To start off I'm a Sophmore in High school. I'm black but I'm different than the stereotypical black kid which has ( I find) Made my high-school experience worse. I'm well read but don't show off, I have a sense of humor says my friends. I don't know if I actually really have friends or if I'm just tolerated. It's been bugging me for a while and I don't know what to do. I'm not soft spoken but I'm not an attention whore. I guess my clear hatred for anti-stereotypes and the mainstream as come back to bite me. Anyway I'm interested in a girl and I'm so frustrated because for one she's two year's older than me and also I've never been in a relationship before. Recently over the summer I've just spent my time sleeping and listening to music. I don't know what to do and it's really driving me into a depression and I don't want that. I'm a bit shy and that's a problem too. Please someone help me out.

 

i had a similar problem in highschool, i saw this girl and she was cute/ tall/ and amazing eyes. i couldnt apporach her, cuz a) she was a year older and b) there was this other guy on her trails (theyd hang out a lot, hug so on and so forth).

 

Anyways, i was so curious about her, i approached her on a completely different tangent. I asked her to help me in Algebra...just out of the blue yep..lol. She was on the prefect squad, meaning she had good grades, so i figured why the heck not. So thats how i made the first contact. From there we did a few tutoring classes so on and so forth, but then found that she was a really shallow person and the guy she was hanging out with was apparently her on and off bf, so i just dropped the whole idea.

 

my advice to you is since your in high school is to see if you can make the first contact in some common place or randomly open up a convo if you get the chance or opportunity presents itself. Going through friends is another suggestion, but since your not too sure about your friends, you are your only best hope.

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Try to be more positive. people are not generally drawn to people who hate things unless they hate those things too and even then, strong hate should be avoided. Try to seem as nice and as prosocial as possible. Then just ask her lots of questions because girls love it when you are interested in what they have to say. Try to make her laugh without being overtly negative. A guy that can make a girl laugh is a guy that gets lots of girl attention. But don't be too eager, especially if she is ridiculously good looking and takes male attention for granted. The more guys she has interested in her, the less likely she is to take any of them seriously. You need to act like you are on the same level as her while still being very nice. I.E. don't be too persistent in asking her out. If she shows signs of disinterest, act less concerned with her.

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I understand where you're comming from. I'm not black, but I've been in the same situation, but let me explain.

 

I'm very anti-stereotypical, as you are. I believe you hate the stereotype of black=bad as many people do believe, but im more familiar of hating the stereotype of teenager=bad. I know it's not a date thing, but it gets the similarities in check.

 

To go with your pessimistic attitude, I've been there. I've never actually dated either, and I'm a Senior in high school. I've been in the situation where I used to believe I had no REAL friends, that I was just there to be tolerated and they were there only to make me feel wanted. Well, the real case is, they are my friends, and your friends are your friends. I have needed to reassure myself that countless times before it finally drilled into my head. It's been proven that friends are the real deal. NOBODY would have a friend just to make them feel wanted. It would be a waste of their time. If they're your friend, they want to be your friend and you must be accepting of that or you could lose them.

 

Since we're near the same spot in life, I will reccomend to you, what I have been doing this summer, is try building your confidence little by little, so that you remain comfortable with doing so. It may be hard, but it has brought me out of my depression, as I hope it does yours.

 

It would help to know if you're shy or not. This could help me further.

 

It's hard not to dwell in the negative when you've never dated. You feel out of place and unloved and unwanted by others. I'm in the same boat, in the same river. Once you build confidence in yourself and the world you live in, relationships will come much easier to you. It has worked for me.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

 

If you'd like any help or other advice, don't be ashamed to ask.

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Hey there. I look black or mexican kinda, (1/4 panamanian) and I never had a girlfriend in highschool, or thereafter. I guess women are usually attracted to males of the same ethnicity usually, but regardless it is tough. I resent highschool, all those popular guys getting all the girls. I sat bymyself at lunch for half of sophmore year. (my friends were getting gay and mean and annoying)

 

Those older girls sure look nice, but they intern like older males, with more resources and muscles, and are more mature in the head. I dunno, just evolutionary type stuff. Every summer except before 8th grade (only gf; lasted for 4 months) I spent listening to the radio, going out on hikes, and sometimes the beach, all of it by myself, except siblings.

 

Sorry, I know how it feels. The infinite frustration is just completely consuming. But highschool girls are random and complicated as heck. Plus they are picky about guys, so they pick someone else to go out with or screw.

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