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Marrying your high school sweetheart


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Old 18th February 2006, 12:03 AM   #1
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Marrying your high school sweetheart

I am still with my high school sweetheart and we plan on marrying once we are "established" with our careers. I am not engaged, but I do know that I will end up marrying him.

Here's the thing....people always tell me that I should "experience" other people because since I have been with him since we were teenagers, I have not had the experience with dating other guys. I've been told that I will go through life regreting not knowing what other guys were like.

While I do agree that I may wonder what life would have been like if I had more experience, I think that if I did not end up with him, I would go through life wondering about him...where is he now, what is he doing, does he think about me, etc.

So my question is: When we marry, will we always wonder about what things would have been like with someone else? You have your high school sweethearts that get married and then divorced because of lack of experience with other people. But then you have your married people that still wonder about their high school sweetheart.

There was some survey taken with married people: Would you leave your spouse for your high school sweetheart? Something like 87% said YES!

But no matter what we end up doing, won't we always wonder about what life would be like if we made a different choice?
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Old 18th February 2006, 1:36 AM   #2
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Maybe yes. Maybe no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicolette
There was some survey taken with married people: Would you leave your spouse for your high school sweetheart? Something like 87% said YES!

But no matter what we end up doing, won't we always wonder about what life would be like if we made a different choice?
I'm married and I would NOT leave my spouse for anyone. No matter what you wish to address, at some point in life we ALL wonder about the "what ifs." That applies to every major decision we've ever made.
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Old 18th February 2006, 11:39 AM   #3
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Its true that the 'what ifs' will come up all the time. I understand how hard of a choice this is going to be to make..since on one hand you have what you think is the love of your life, but you really don't have anything to base that information on because you don't know what other people are like....but you could leave the relationship and find out you made the biggest mistake of your life. Even if your afriad to hurt his feelings by telling him this, maybe you should just say how your feeling....maybe hes feeling the same thing...and just knowing that might in turn bring you closer together to know you both have the same worries, but you can get through it together
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Old 18th February 2006, 12:08 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katharine1229
Even if your afriad to hurt his feelings by telling him this, maybe you should just say how your feeling....maybe hes feeling the same thing...and just knowing that might in turn bring you closer together to know you both have the same worries, but you can get through it together
I agree. If you don't have complete honesty in the relationship, you honestly don't have a complete relationship to begin with.
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Old 18th February 2006, 12:31 PM   #5
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Oh, I was not asking what I should do...I just wanted to know if other people thought that no matter what, you'll always wonder what it would have been like if you did somehting else...

We did break up about three years ago (to experience), only for a few months, and it was horrific....I didn't want to give other guys a chance, I only wanted to be with him. he would call me all the time, and we ended up hanging out, and talking about how much we wanted to be together. Obviously, we did get back together. But it was good for me because I saw what life without him was and I did not like it at all. We never talk about being apart, just about our future.

So I learned that while I might have my own "what if's" I would rather have those than wonder for the rest of my life what he is doing.
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Old 18th February 2006, 1:14 PM   #6
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congrats
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Old 8th March 2006, 10:36 AM   #7
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Don't know what you got till it's gone.

Nicolette, I believe that as your high school sweetheart, you have shared so much together to the point of creating a very special bond. I tell you from experience that I strayed from my 4 year highschool relationship and ended up marrying someone I did not love, this goes for him as well only to find ourselves cheating on our spouses 2 years into both of our marriages. Even though it was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make, I prided myself in having the courage to lose all contact with him and giving my marriage my all for the following 10 years. I was never able to forget him or every memory we created. In order to console myself or keep from contacting him I found myself writing letters (for 10 years) that I knew he would never receive. Where am I 13 years later? Better yet where are him and I? As of 7 months ago and after 10 years of our last contact here we are once again cheating on our spouses. Very much in love but in the biggest mess we have ever put ourselves in. We are both married with children and seems the heartbreak only gets worse. You can read a little more on the details on a thread I posted last week called "Married, but not w/the one I love. I urge you to seriously think about what you are doing. Do not play with love. The saying "You don't know what you got till it's gone is very true". But only you can tell if you are both truly in love. Regardless, even if you marry someone you truly love, people have fallen out of love. A marriage takes work and you must always find ways to keep the love and respect between both of you. Good Luck in your decision. I hope I was able to help some.
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