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Am I doing this wedding ring thing right?


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Old 4th January 2018, 3:23 PM   #1
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Am I doing this wedding ring thing right?

I am a man, and I'm getting ready to propose. My budget is tight. I know very little about wedding rings. I've never been engaged before.

I went to a well-known department store at the mall that sells jewelry. It starts with a M and ends with an S.

I saw a $2,000 engagement ring on sale for $500. I bought it.

Two questions:

(1) If the ring was on sale for one-fourth of what it originally costs then is there something wrong with it?

(2) The woman at the store says there is a difference between an engagement ring and an actual wedding ring. Why is this? Am I going to have to buy another ring for the actual wedding?

(3) Can't my future finance just use the engagement ring as a wedding ring?
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Old 4th January 2018, 3:28 PM   #2
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Reltubsirch0412,

1. No

2. Yes

3. No.

A wedding ring costs a great deal less than an engagement ring ( in UK anyway) and is usually just a plain gold band. The engagement ring is the fancy one.
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Old 4th January 2018, 3:30 PM   #3
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That's technically 3 questions...

1. Unfamiliar with costs, sorry

2 and 3 - It depends a lot on your culture, but in most Western cultures the engagement ring usually comes with gems, looks fairly feminine, and is given by the man to the woman. Only the woman wears an engagement ring.

Wedding rings on the other hand are almost always a simple band with no gems. They don't look inherently feminine - usually the man and the woman both wear a similar ring, except for small difference like size and what is engraved on it.

For that reason, no, engagement rings are usually not used as a wedding ring.

Regardless though, you and your future fiance should do whatever you want.
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Old 4th January 2018, 3:55 PM   #4
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First off a department store does not sell good jewelry, just cheap jewelry. Secondly, you should have it appraised before you buy it. Thirdly an engagement ring is a diamond ring and a wedding ring is a band type ring usually a gold band. I sold my motorcycle and took on 3 part time jobs to pay for my wife's engagement ring and wedding band.

While the engagement ring would cost $4800 in today's dollars, the original wedding bad was just a plain gold band since I was a full time college student when we married. The reason I got her the engagement ring I did was because it is something a woman will wear all of her married life and I did not want her to feel embarrassed in the present and future when she is among friends and family. It is also a reflection one me and how much I am wiling to spend on someone I love.

However, you can always buy her a bigger and better ring when you are earning more money. Although I spent a lot on the engagement ring because that is what gets noticed the most since it is a solitaire diamond, I spent much less on the gold wedding bands. You need to buy two you know. One for her and one for you. As my income grew we got new wedding bands. My wife's is a gold and diamond insert that her engagement ring fits into and makes a nice presentation. Mine is a gold band with 5 good sized diamonds in it. A classic design.

Women tend to not want to change their engagement rings since they hold a lot of sentimental value so what you give her is something you will wear in front of current and future friends and business associates. A $500 ring is either very tiny or has a lot of faults in it. Cubic Zirconia costs more than that so have it appraised to see what it is really worth.
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Old 4th January 2018, 4:40 PM   #5
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OK but you took a chance buying an engagement ring for a woman without her having a choice in the matter or without having some idea of the kind of ring she likes.

Rings have fashion trends, a engagement ring is not just an engagement ring, there are lots of different styles.
If she is any like any other woman she will have have her favourite ring style and those she hates...
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Old 4th January 2018, 5:42 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Steve51 View Post
First off a department store does not sell good jewelry, just cheap jewelry.
If the OP is referring to Macy's, their online site tells me that they do indeed sell fine jewellery. I hope you didn't scare the OP too much
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:00 PM   #7
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If the OP is referring to Macy's, their online site tells me that they do indeed sell fine jewellery. I hope you didn't scare the OP too much
Yes, I was referring to Macy's. I didn't say the name of the store because I didn't know what the policies were on mentioning for-profit businesses on this website.
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:07 PM   #8
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That's a great price!

Congratulations on your upcoming engagement!!
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:08 PM   #9
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$$$$

Had you asked in advance most of us would have steered you away from the Mall & department stores. The one you mentioned has something like a 400% mark up on jewelry. Can you take it back? An independent stand alone jeweler whose employees are certified by the Gemologist Institute of America (GIA) would have been a better choice where you could have gotten a much better value.

You need to learn about the 4 C's: cut, color, clarity & carats. Most people know about carats (the size) but actually that is the least important. If you bought a cloudy ring or one with stones that have occlusions, you basically bought garbage.

She didn't need two rings but you bought the non-essential one. The wedding band is the important one. The e-ring is all about the bling.

The really bad news: the ring is one of the cheaper parts of a wedding. The AVERAGE wedding in America costs $26,000 if you want the full sit down dinner & all the other stuff. That doesn't include the HM. If you are in a HCOL area, that number doubles.

Begin to realize that you have some serious planning & budgeting to do. Best wishes though. I hope she's over the moon & you have a long, happy & healthy life together.
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:16 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Had you asked in advance most of us would have steered you away from the Mall & department stores. The one you mentioned has something like a 400% mark up on jewelry. Can you take it back? An independent stand alone jeweler whose employees are certified by the Gemologist Institute of America (GIA) would have been a better choice where you could have gotten a much better value.
Yes, I can take the ring back.

I took some pictures of the ring intending to post pics here....but I see that this forum doesn't give me the option to upload the pictures.

Too bad....I would have liked some opinions on the ring.
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:19 PM   #11
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Did the ring come with a detailed description?

I'm thinking it may be a CZ at that price which is fine. It's not a diamond though.
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:21 PM   #12
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I'm sure it's lovely because you picked it out with love (& some intelligence because of the sale). I have gotten some nice enough jewelry at the store you mentioned; they don't have terrible stuff but their mark ups tend to be awful.

Go to the kind of store I mentioned before you pop the Q & have the ring appraised. Get it's true value. If you got a good deal, use the appraisal to insure the ring. If you got taken advantage of start all over & educate yourself.

MY DH said he spent about 6 months learning about diamonds before he went shopping. It can be overwhelming.
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:28 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by amaysngrace View Post
Did the ring come with a detailed description?

I'm thinking it may be a CZ at that price which is fine. It's not a diamond though.
According to the description:

Diamond/solitaire Wedding 3 stone diamond ring
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:30 PM   #14
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I also depends on the woman.

I am not materialistic, I did not need nor want an expensive ring. We were young and didn't have much money when my husbands bought my engagement ring. It wasn't the biggest or fanciest, but it came from him, and that is all that mattered.

We ended up not getting married for many years, and he was bequeathed a very nice stone years later. Together we designed a ring for it.

The original ring he got me has been converted into a lovely band, and means just as much to me as my "fancy" ring.

And totally off topic.... Did you ever get that paternity test OP? Seems like it would be a prudent thing before getting legally intertwined.
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:31 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reltubsirch0412 View Post
According to the description:

Diamond/solitaire Wedding 3 stone diamond ring
That's excellent! You got a great deal!

When are you going to ask her to marry you?
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