I feel uncomfortable about his bachelor party. am i just being stupid?

[sweetmind20]

hi,

 

before anyone jumps to any conclusions about my nature towards this, my discomfort does not derive from a controlling attitude or because i want to spoil his fun. trust me, i am afraid he would only end up resenting me for saying that i wish he wouldn't have a bachelor party. i mean, guy time is one thing, but having a half naked woman touching the man i'm supposed to marry, bothers me.

 

perhaps there are people out there who say i should be more lighthearted but it's hard for me because my fiance and i have been together for three and half years and we were each other's first. we have never been with anyone else.

 

you might say that i should trust him and let him have fun as a single guy before he gets married. i do trust him, but the buddy who wants to throw him the party has no respect for him being in a monogamous relationship because ever since my guy and i have been together, his friend has been making continuous remarks about setting him up to get laid by different women and when my guy says no, his friend laughs and says that he'll spike his drink and get him laid when he's unaware. needless to say, my fiance's friend makes me uncomfortable.

 

i have heard horror stories about how bachelor parties can turn into wild orgies. i know there may be people reading this and laughing and thinking that i am naive and insecure. the truth is, i am young, just turned 22 and of course i have my worries. i have heard stories of strippers having sex with the groom, etc.

 

the point i'm trying to make is : should i just give up and not bring this issue up with my fiance and just let it ride and hope all goes well. or should i be honest and tell him that i am uncomfortable with it?

 

any opinions would be helpful. thanks so much

[Thinkalot]

Here's what i think.

 

You do need to trust your fiance to do the right thing and not be too uptight with things. Sure.

 

BUT, it sounds like his mates might be the ones you are worried about, and rightly so. I think I'd feel uncomfortable about the sort of comments you mentioned also. And I am about to turn 32, so it has nothing to do with age, or you being young.

 

I would talk to him about how you feel. You need tobe able to be honest about things. Dont attack him, or say you dont want him to have his night, but do say the things which worry you. Maybe even make him a little aware of your concern about his mates.

 

Lots of women worry about this sort of thing. It is pretty normal.

It's a fine line to tread. Be honest, be calm. Accept some things will happen you can't control, and as I said, trust your fiance to do the right thing. Watching a stripper, or having one sit on your lap is one thing, for example, having sex with one before you get married, is absolutely NOT ON.

 

My husband didnt even want a bucks night, so luckily I did not have to worry about it. Many women have told me they worried though, and often it was more of a worry about what their fiances mates would do.

 

Just remember, this man loves you and has chosen to marry you. There is no way in the world I would worry about my husband cheating. I trust him completely. No matter what his mates did. You need to trust your man too.

[jmargel]

Sweetmind if your fiancee has told your friend no before then you can rest assured that even if it was presented to him he would still say no. He can make his own choices and to cheat on your fiancee takes more than just a spiked drink and some coaxing by a friend.

 

My bachelor party my brothers took me to a strip club. My wife didn't care, she just didn't want to know any details. She trusted me.

 

My younger brother bought me a VIP dance, it's a private dance in a back room. Even though it was a full nude club, here is what happened.

 

It was the size of maybe a large dressing room, with a small couch. There was a small jukebox on the wall. She put on a song and basically danced for me. She took off her top and showed her cooch. Personally it didn't turn me on. While just her top off and layed on top of me and nuzzled my neck. It wasn't very initimate even though it might sound like it. It was her just doing her job. Afterwards she told me working here just really turned her off to guys, it made me laugh. She didn't get enjoyment out of it and although I appreciate my brother doing something for me it was more of a laugh than anything.

 

She did leave lipstick on my collar, whether by choice or not, I don't know. I told my wife about it so when she did the laundry she wouldn't have come across it wandering what happened.

 

Would she have done more if I asked her? I don't know, maybe. However the fact is that I didn't. Your fiancee has a choice everyday to cheat on you or betray you, just like you do him. However that is what makes a marriage special, the trust, the bond that it would not happen even given the opportunity to do so. I think it would be perfectly fine for you to go upto his friend while your fiancee is there and tell him that you don't appreciate his attitude with this. That I hope you consider your fiancee a good enough friend to be respectful to him in what he wants.

[UltimateZen]

Originally posted by sweetmind20

hi,

 

before anyone jumps to any conclusions about my nature towards this, my discomfort does not derive from a controlling attitude or because i want to spoil his fun. trust me, i am afraid he would only end up resenting me for saying that i wish he wouldn't have a bachelor party. i mean, guy time is one thing, but having a half naked woman touching the man i'm supposed to marry, bothers me.

 

perhaps there are people out there who say i should be more lighthearted but it's hard for me because my fiance and i have been together for three and half years and we were each other's first. we have never been with anyone else.

 

you might say that i should trust him and let him have fun as a single guy before he gets married. i do trust him, but the buddy who wants to throw him the party has no respect for him being in a monogamous relationship because ever since my guy and i have been together, his friend has been making continuous remarks about setting him up to get laid by different women and when my guy says no, his friend laughs and says that he'll spike his drink and get him laid when he's unaware. needless to say, my fiance's friend makes me uncomfortable.

 

i have heard horror stories about how bachelor parties can turn into wild orgies. i know there may be people reading this and laughing and thinking that i am naive and insecure. the truth is, i am young, just turned 22 and of course i have my worries. i have heard stories of strippers having sex with the groom, etc.

 

the point i'm trying to make is : should i just give up and not bring this issue up with my fiance and just let it ride and hope all goes well. or should i be honest and tell him that i am uncomfortable with it?

 

any opinions would be helpful. thanks so much

 

I am getting married this August and my Best Man is throwing me a bachelor party. At first my fiance and I were thinking of a couples bachelor/bachelorette party where both sides meet up for drinks and then break away to go party. This might be an option you might want to consider. The only reason we decided against it was time conflicts on our end.

 

But even so, I reassured my fiance that the bachelor party is just guys getting together: drinking, poker, and then going to a strip club to hoot and hollar at the girls. My fiance was even more comfortable knowing that her brother is going to the bachelor party (whom I am very good friends with) and thus eliminate any worries she had. And vice versa, she has a friend of mine going to the bachelorette party (whom she is friends with). Although there was nothing to worry about because we trust each other; we still had to reassure one another to hit the point home that this is a great time for friends to get out and have fun. Remember, it is also a matter of trust and communication....just talk it out and get his perspective on what he expects and doesn't expect to do.

[Artifact]

You might as well talk to him about it, let him reassure you, then move on. It sounds like you have a good fiance and nothing to worry about at the party.

 

Just do him a favor and make sure he knows you trust him. When you let him know you are uncomfortable with his bachelor party, make sure he knows it's only because of his friend.

[Cheeto]

I am curious...was your Fiance's friend in the picture before you???

 

If so...something I have found to be the case is that women in general tend to be very jealous of any other friends, family, and/or pets that were closely involved with "Their Man" before them. I've seen this in nearly every relationship that I have seen between people I know (self included)...and I've been around for 40+ years.

 

 

Bottomline is...is that as long as his friend is in the picture you will continue to have problems that will eventually drive your soon to be hubby away...especially if everything you suspected him off were not true. I am leaving my wife of 20 years for these very issues...20 years and a thousand accusations later (none of which were true) coupled with constant anger have made me totally numb to her...in fact just hearing her whiny or angry voice makes me cringe...

 

Hope a little male perpestive helps you out and good luck to you both

[sweetmind20]

cheeto,

 

i do not have problems with any of my fiancee's friends, etc. that he had in the picture before me. in fact, since the beginning of our relationship when he wanted to spend every waking moment with me, i encouraged him to not neglect his other activities and friends.

 

this is not a case of me trying to isolate him and whine about him having a life outside of me and it's not that i'm insecure that he is close to someone other than me, that he's known longer than me.

 

my fiancee himself has a love/hate friendship with his friend, as he has said on more than one occasion that he didn't respect him and found him to be lazy and stupid. these were his words and not my own. my fiancee and his friend have maintained their friendship thus far because they have known each other since junior high.

 

what my concerns are about are that his friend may not have his best intentions at heart and it will disrupt their friendship as well as my relationship. his friend could care less if my fiancee is with me. since he is solo, he wants company in "finding chics to lay". these are not accusations, either. many a time, he has brought a woman over to specifically try to get in my fiancee's pants.

 

by the way. i am sorry that your marriage didnt work out, but all women are not like this. we all have our insecurities, but it is how we deal with them that is the difference.

[PatL]

Um, hello Sweetmind.... Pardon me for being very direct... but it BAFFLES me that anyone would think that it's even remotely OK for their intimate/life partner to be that sexual with another person. The job of strippers (who sometimes, as you would expect, upgrade to the prostitute/gigolo function, but even if they don't...) is to do their darndest to get their 'clients' off sexually.

 

I don't think you are being 'stupid' at all darling!! It's terrible to me that you would even think it - that you would consider that the problem is somehow 'yours'. Not to have some concern and caution would be the greatest naivity, especially with a 'friend' like your fiance has. (Also note that there can be a lot of the 'blame my mates - it's them, not me', so be careful that you can judge which is really which.)

 

What it comes down to is how much sexual contact you are willing for your partner to have with others. If having a more-than-half naked woman grinding up against his body on a bucks night - and any other night in your future - doesn't bother you, then you are remarkable in your confidence and resilience. I'm big on exclusivity and deep mutual respect myself, and couldn't do it any other way. So I don't know whether to feel jealous of you, or anxious for you!

 

Good luck, whatever you decide. But in the process, don't ever imagine that your feelings don't have validity and a right to be aired and taken account of.

 

(Note that a lot of guys/girls don't have this kind of bucks/hens party. It isn't compulsory!)

[jmargel]

The job of strippers (who sometimes, as you would expect, upgrade to the prostitute/gigolo function, but even if they don't...) is to do their darndest to get their 'clients' off sexually.

 

I disagree there. There job is to just provide entertainment. They aren't there to 'get them off'. I don't know of any guy who has 'gotten off' on a lap dance. Lap dances range from 15 seconds to 2 minutes. In all cases, the guys are NOT allowed to touch the women and in most cases the touching by the women are not done on inappropirate places.

 

Goto a strip club and see for yourself. Of course your imagination could run wild by thinking these things but in all honesty I'd rather be at a dance club then a strip club.

[New_Wife]

Sweet,

 

I am 10 years older than you, and I had almost the exact same concerns. Not a rowdy friend, but a rowdy brother who wanted to see the strippers for himself. Plus, ours was in Vegas, so I didn't know if the TV portrayals were anywhere near accurate, etc.

 

So I told my (then) fiance that I was feeling a little weird about the bachelor party thing, and that I really wouldn't care if he went to a club and made hooty noises and dropped a couple of bucks in some girls' shorts, but I would feel hurt if he had an in-room stripper/party or if he had a lap dance (my personal preference - not a global judgment there). He assured me that none of those things would happen & on we went with our lives.

 

Ironically, he DID get kicked out of the strip club before much entertainment even happened. My favorite part of the story was that it had nothing whatsoever to do with sex - it was a pricing dispute over drinks. So the rowdy bunch went to a comedy club & gambled some more.

 

In any event, I think that the communication is really more important than the stripper. If you talk to your man, and he listens, and understands your feelings - you'll likely start off with a leap (airing your concerns) and a catch (him listening and respecting). Good luck to you!

[Guest]

Maybe I'm old fasioned, but I think that a strip club is completely out of the question. My fiance decided to be with me the day he put that ring on my finger. There is no "last night of freedom or being single." He gave up being single when he decided to propose. I think it is disrespectful for him to go and see other girls, especially since he can see one at home for free. I completely agree with you being hurt or upset about this, and you should be. A relationship is about love for one another. I trust my fiance not to touch, but I don't think that he should even be looking. It's one thing to say "that girl is really pretty," but to go to a strip club when you have committed to someone is wrong in my opinion. I would never do that to him.

[deesgirl]

I don't see how a woman lying on top of you, topless, and kissing your neck is entertainment.

 

I don't entertain myself with another man between my legs, and I expect the same respect.

[UltimateZen]

This is what to do: Just have lots and lots and lots of sex with him the week (and especially the day) before his bucks night. He will be so fulfilled that every girl he will look at in the club will have your face on her.

[KellyGirl]

My boyfriend is the best man and he just left town today for a 3 day long Bachelor party!! He didn't plan it because of his work schedule so another friend of the groom made all of the arrangments. Three days is a bit exccessive don't you think?!?!

 

I am having serious anxiety about the whole thing. I know everyone says that "if you trust eachother then there shouldn't be an issue" and he's never given me a reason not to trust him but I have seen him drunk and I am really freaking out!

 

He has told me that he doesn't like strip clubs or strippers because it makes him uncomfortable but I also know that when you are drinking, lot's things that make you "uncomfortable" are not so bothersome when you are drunk. I have seen my boyfriend drunk and I have seen him belligerent and it's not pretty. I guess you can say that I don't trust him when he is drunk.

 

Maybe I have seen too many movies or I have too active of an imagination either way I am just going to worry all weekend about what he's doing. I think part of the problem is that every guy I have talked to about this makes me feel even worse. They all get that distant look in their eyes with a crooked smile like they are thinking back on bachelor parties of the past and they all have said that if not the groom at least someone ends up sleeping with a stripper!!

 

Is it just a rule at these stupid parties that men have to egg eachother on and get really wasted and encourage eachother to do stupid things that they might regret?!?!

[KellyGirl]

OK, I can't belive how lucky I am!

 

My BF called me maybe 5 times yesterday and last night to keep updating me on where they were going and what thery were doing and last night before he went to bed (1am) he called me to let me know that they were back at the hotel safe and to say good night and tell me he loved me. I am so proud of him! AND on top of all that they all decided that one night was enough and everyone is coming home a day early! (They're too hung over for another night!)

 

It seems that I really need to rethink this not trusting him thing! I feel like a jerk! He has definately proven himself to me.

I am never going to question him or his intentions again, he is a wonderful man and I am going to trust and respect him like I should have to begin with.

 

Yea, he'll be home tonight when I get home from work!!!!!

[sweetserendipity]

Originally posted by jmargel

I disagree there. There job is to just provide entertainment. They aren't there to 'get them off'. I don't know of any guy who has 'gotten off' on a lap dance. Lap dances range from 15 seconds to 2 minutes. In all cases, the guys are NOT allowed to touch the women and in most cases the touching by the women are not done on inappropirate places.

 

Goto a strip club and see for yourself. Of course your imagination could run wild by thinking these things but in all honesty I'd rather be at a dance club then a strip club.

 

JMargel - didn't your wife used to be a stripper prior to you dating/marrying? I seem to recall this. If so, that would surely explain your "non-chalant" attitude about all this, wouldn't you say?

 

And let's be real - a lot of strip joints have back rooms where for the right price a guy can get more than just a lapdance.

 

And it seems rather naive of you to say that you don't know of any guy who's gotten off on a lap dance. Well short of you surveying all men who've had lapdances, I'd say it's realistic to believe there's plenty of guys who get a huge boner from having some naked peeler rubbing and grinding her coochie-pop on the guy's lap, while her silicone t*tties are being mashed into his face.

 

This isn't so much about her trusting her fiance.......it's about common sense and doing the math. We have a guy who's got a friend who doesn't respect the relationship, who's made it very clear that he wants to get this guy laid ...even if it involved getting him majorly liquored up. Think about the many posts on this forum and others like this where seemingly bright people get too tanked up and they end up sleeping with people they shouldn't sleep with (as they're in relationships already)....like their partner's best friend, their ex, etc. Booze causes a person to lose all inhibitions and you get a crowd of boozing guys who are encouraging the prospective groom to "have some fun" and they're egging him on because they don't respec the fact that he's getting married...and you have a recipe for disaster. People, GOOD people, do all kinds of stupid things when they're plastered and the opportunity is right in their face, plus they're getting lots of encouragement and pressure from "the boys."

 

The Original Poster should talk with her fiance about how she feels - she doesn't want to start out their married life with worries and resentments - or spend the night of his stag sitting on pins and needles and making herself sick.

 

She could also ask her fiance if she could have one of her male cousins or brother or good male friends attend also, so that she can be assured nobody will be trying to get her fiance so boozed up that he's put into a bad situation.

[Dee53]

Hello everybody,

 

I'm looking around for a friend of mine who is getting married ... she has no internet service, and came across this thread. I felt I had to come in and tell you guys the TRUTH about bachelor parties!

 

I'm not ashamed to admit what I do for a living ... I chose it and I'm fine with it .. I'm not a kid, I'm a mature adult woman who is very happy doing what I do. I strip for many different functions ... bachelor parties being one of them. Listen ... the TRUTH is that men are completely different from what they tell YOU when they're alone with other men! I know .. I've seen way too many things happen, and YES they do happen with me, to agree with any of you on here that say it's all innocent. It's NOT!

 

Almost every groom gets into it once things start going ... and I've given many hand jobs, blow jobs, lap dances to completion, and sex to him. He will NOT .. I repeat .. will NOT tell you this! There is NO way that he's going to hurt you or want to hear how you'll react if he does. Sorry, but THIS is the truth!

 

Now I WILL say there are maybe a handful of men who will remain faithful ... but trust me when I say, MOST of them will not .. and you can count on your one hand, the amount that do.

 

When the drinking starts, the music is turned up ... and I start to dance and fool around ... everybody, and I mean everybody ... loosens up! Also, the men get their 'story' together before they go home ... not all of them, but many of them do .... I hear it all. Sometimes they do that before I begin ... so they'll remember.

 

If you ask me WHY I do this ... and have sex with men who are about to be married .. it's because I love men, I love sex .. and I enjoy what I do. Men will cheat .. it's a fact of life .. if given the chance and place and privacy. No matter WHAT they tell you! I just enjoy myself and don't care to ever marry ... I'm a very free spirit and always want to remain one ... so "I" enjoy giving men what THEY enjoy... simple as that.

 

I just wanted you to know .. what REALLY goes on. If you have any questions for me, I'll be glad to answer them.

 

Dee

[beenthere71005]

DONT LET YOUR MAN GET A STRIPPER NO MATTER WHAT!!!

 

IT has been over a year since my husband's bachelor party and I still lose sleep over it. As an ignorant bride with better things to worrry about and a fiance I trusted I didn't have any problem with strippers at his party. Our parties were the same night and we were supposed to meet up after the bars closed at 1am.

 

My friends and I went bar hopping. While we were getting strangers to buy me shots my fiance and his friends were having there own fun with two strippers and about a hundred guys from the local area. Every sleez showed up hearing about what was going down even if they weren't friends with my guy. My dad and and my brother were even there to make sure nothing terrible happened.

 

Anyway at 1:30am we arrived and the doors were still closed and lights were off, I proceeded to bust down a door, letting the alcohol get the best of me since the strippers were supposed to be gone long before we arrived and were still there. I walked in and saw one guy laying underneath one of the strippers as she screwed herself with a very big flashlite. Anyway **** hit the fan and the strippers split as soon as they saw me. My fiances BM and another groomsman paid like $500 extra for the strippers to stay late, my theory is these two never get laid so they needed all the extra they could get no matter how detrimental it would be to our relationship. As the days went by I began to hear more and more about this party and learned that my guy was stripped to his boxers(which I burned by the way) and the strippers were completely naked. They shot ice cubes from their pussy's and guys tried to catch them in their glasses, (hope they caught something from that at least) and sat their spread eagle with a flashlite shining on their crotches so the guys could count their peircings.

 

The most disturbing part to me becides being totally naked on top of my fiance and wondering how he kept his dick in his boxers was that the men including mine laid on their backs with dollars in their mouths while the strippers pulled them out using only their pussy. I do not think this is possible to do without contacting their faces and that is very disgusting. Don't these guys worry about catching something? Who the hell knows what else happened that nobody had the guts to tell me about.

 

Needless to say we almost did not get married, I was sick to my stomach and couldn't sleep for at least a week, thank god the party was weeks before out wedding or we would have had serious problems because I would cry at the drop of a hat and just sit around and wonder how I could be so stupid and think that my guy was different from the others.

 

I thought strippers meant boobs in the face, underwear no matter how skimpy remaining on and the guy keeping his clothes on. I know that worse has happened at other bachelor parties but it is still hard to comprehend why guys think this is OK and if their girl had a guy grinding his dick in her crotch with only her underwear on I don't think he would be too happy and consider it OK, or normal in any sense.

 

This event has changed my whole perception of so many things, movies with skimpy dressed women, any movie with strippers or anything that could remotely remind me of this event sends a streak of rage through me and makes me wonder if I will ever get over this.

 

 

I would like DEE to explain to me if it is possible to do the dollar bill thing without touching. Thanks

[Dee53]

Hi Beenthere,

 

Well, I wasn't at this particular party ... but from what you've said, I can tell you it sounded like a pretty wild one.

 

Yes, the pussy with the dollar CAN be done without touching the face, you hold it at the end ... and there's the middle of the bill between you and the face. BUT ... many many times .. if you're THAT close ... you touch a bit, or the man will come up to touch you, and of course ... many times the stripper allows the man to do more.

 

Like I said, I can't say for sure ... but it sure sounds like that was a party where many men got off, either WITH the stripper or assisted BY the stripper.... maybe even the groom. It happens all the time ... but I'm telling you, they will very rarely tell you that, they just don't want to lose you. Men can separate sex from love and when they're drinking, it's much easier.

 

Please understand, I'm not saying that your fiance did get off .. but by the sound of things, it may well have happened, and he may never fess up.

 

Dee

[deesgirl]

Beenthere, why did you marry him after you found out? I'm just curious. Will you trust him now?

[SexKitten]

i don't know whether i will freak out or not if my boyfriend wants a bachelor party when we get married, but i have to say i think it's interesting that for guys it's "one last night of fun" before they are married...as though their lives immediately end upon falling in love with someone and saying "i do."

 

why isn't playing cards fun? or just going to a regular bar? if it's just an innocent night of fun, why does it knowingly happen on this one night, protected by the shroud of tradition? "oh, it's supposed to be fun, just fun with the guys, it's only fun, we're only having FUN!" great! have fun...i don't think anyone questions the fun factor about it. so the woman is expected to say "oh okay as long as it's fun, i understand. go ahead, and here's one on me, because it's all in fun."

 

it's just so odd to me that naked chicks come along with the territory of pre-wedding plans, and it's supposed to be "okay" because it's "tradition" and there's no actual sex involved. i even know that there is sex involved sometimes--i know lots of married people and have heard every story possible.

 

i understand that having actual sex might be worse than some other things, but the contact that does occur has no place for someone in a committed relationship.

 

just because you're not married yet does not mean you are single. if that were the case, this would be okay to do throughout the whole dating process, and most men and women, i think, would agree that it's not okay.

[beenthere710005]

Deesgirl,

 

To answer your question of why I married him, I guess I felt like I had no other choice, invites were already mailed, I am from a very small town, less than a 1,000 so calling off the wedding would had made headlines in the local paper and it seemed like everyone else except for me and my mom and sister thought it wasn't that big of a deal.

 

One of my guy classmates from highschool explained to me that I should be happy that was all that happened and told me about another guy I know who is so shy and not a ladies man at all who got a hand job at his party and that was in an actual club. On some level I tried to rationalize everything and also blamed it on the drunken boys mob mentality. I was marrying a man I have know since I was 12, taught me how to water ski, done so many nice things for me, driven hours to see me at college, and put up with a lot of bulls*** from me through those college years.

 

I was also reassured my my dad and my brother that my husband did not do anything beyond what he told me and that many of the other guys that were there, many married with kids had gotten a lot more attention from the strippers that my guy did. Another thing that really blew my mind was how this man that I was marrying who I thought was not like most other guys in the sense that he isn't into porn of any kind, is never flirty with other women, doesn't make comments about other women, he is just a nice guy, turned into a complete sleez in a matter of hours just because of his friends and the pressure to do what was expected. I hate to see what happens at other bachelor parties where the guy is really into strippers and thinks degrading women is a fact of life.

 

As for trusting him, I do trust him in the sense that I know he would never cheat on me but he will NEVER EVER attend a bachelor party for as long as I live and he knows that. He has a lot of single friends that will get married eventually and he may think that I will have gotten over this in a couple of years and let him go to that crap but that will never happen. I also made my disgust over this event very public to anyone who would listen so any friend of mine or female in a 50 mile radius should have learned their lesson from my experience. Also, as far as I am concerned every single guy who was at that party already had their bachelor party, they all did.

 

I would like to know if anyone else out there has had any similiar experiences. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but knowing that I am not alone would help.

[akeemi]

(Note that a lot of guys/girls don't have this kind of bucks/hens party. It isn't compulsory!)

 

It isnt compulsory but people thing it is a tradition!! This worries me a lot as how can oppressing women be a tradition?

[Audrey1]

I disagree there. There job is to just provide entertainment. They aren't there to 'get them off'. I don't know of any guy who has 'gotten off' on a lap dance. Lap dances range from 15 seconds to 2 minutes. In all cases, the guys are NOT allowed to touch the women and in most cases the touching by the women are not done on inappropirate places.

 

Goto a strip club and see for yourself. Of course your imagination could run wild by thinking these things but in all honesty I'd rather be at a dance club then a strip club.

 

Hi,

 

Actually speaking as a former stripper (needed money in college) who worked at a very high class club in NYC (you've most likely heard of it) there is a TON of crap that goesa on at these places. I was a clean girl, so I never touched or allowed touching, but nearly 50% of the girls were very different. If men pay more, the girls do more. I've seen some sick stuff go on in these clubs and the only punishment a girl gets is a fine of $100 if she gets caught. Not a big deal when you are making $1200 a night.

 

And a few of my worst memories were of men "getting off" in the middle of a dance. It's disgusting and it happenes.

 

I've seen how the dancers behave and I've seen how the men behave. Trust them all you want, but when your man walks in that door he turns into a different person.

 

Strip clubs are a deal breaker for me. If my fiance even steps foot in one, he'll be history and he knows it. And I know enough dancers working in three states that it would get back to me instantly.

 

So please don't think strip clubs are harmless fun!!!

[GoodGroom]

My fiance is upset that I am having a bachelor party in which there will be a stripper. She gets super-heated and stiffens up when she thinks about it. Personally I don't care one way or another whether or not there is a stripper involved. I am not "one of those guys".

 

As a background, I met my fiance' at work and we were both seeing other people at the time. However, our relationships were crumbling and we fell into each other and I have been in love with her ever since.

 

My best man is planning the party and they wanted to get 3 girls to dance, I think it's a waste. You're gonna end up paying like $500 for the entertainment and all your gonna get is a bad conscience. I won't say I am not interested in seeing beautiful girls naked, I mean come on I'm alive and breathing and all men are pretty much the same there, it's basic primal instinct. To me it's just akward, I mean I don't think it's degrading in any way. As Dee has already claimed it is her CHOICE to dance for parties and it is her choice to give random guys Hand jobs and blow jobs and completely obliterate the real sanctity of marriage. The real truth is a man is as honest as his options, and when you have a woman in a g-string sitting on your lap holding your hand to her breasts and then reaching in between your legs for the "kill" you're options have pretty much expired.

 

My fiance is having her bachelorette party planned by the wife of my Best man, and boy is she pissed. She wants to get a stripper for my fiance' to rectify how angry she is that my best man is get a stripper (or 3). So my fiance' boo hooed and kicked me out of bed because someone was going to get me a stripper even though I'm not planning it and I've told her on many occasions "I don't really care if there is one there." I called the stripper's off and told my best man, NO STRIPPERS and a week later here she comes saying it's okay to have a stripper because I'm going to have one......

 

WOW

 

Is this what marriage is all about, I mean honestly? I am getting married in 3 weeks and all I can think about is my life with my future wife. I have even chastized her for calling herself Mrs. (my last name) because we are not married yet and I don't want to spoil it or jinx anything, and I want it to be special when she becomes my WIFE. So why is the focus on the bachelor party, I mean you're not really single are you? Legally speaking sure but I have been with my fiance' for over 2 years, does this bachelor party give me the open-ended contract to get a blowjob from some skeez who'll probably end up giving me chlamydia?

 

I don't want to get the man of the year award but I swear to god I'd rather have my fiance' strip for me than some nasty cooze "free spirit"