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FiancÚ doesn't want me wearing expensive ring?


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Old 4th August 2017, 1:22 PM   #1
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FiancÚ doesn't want me wearing expensive ring?

Boyfriend bought a $7,000 engagement ring, but doesn't want me wearing it all the time out of fear it will get damaged. I told him that wearing the original engagment ring signifies great important, but he is scared I'll scratch the band or break the diamond because it has a pointed shape.

He said he will buy a $200 engagement ring of lesser value for me to wear most the time, but I want to have my original be worn instead. I don't mind using the cheaper ring when doing physical therapy work, but on my down time I'd prefer the ring he first bought..he thinks that is a bad idea given how expensive it is.

I've offered us exchanging it for a cheaper ring, but he said its incredibly special and that he doesn't want to do that. I offered paying half for it and obviously got shot down from this. He says this is his duty paying for the ring, not mine.. So after the wedding what use is it if I can never really wear it?

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Old 4th August 2017, 1:41 PM   #2
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I spent more than that on my ex wife's ring. She got insurance. Do you have that?

Scratches can be buffed out. Wear and tear is going to happen but jewelers are pretty good about it.

Seems silly to have a fake ring and leave the real one at home. Its a symbol and he should want you to wear it.
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Old 4th August 2017, 1:45 PM   #3
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Tell him that the chances of losing this precious expression of commitment increases every time it's removed and replaced. Much like life itself.

It's not the ring - it's the marriage. The ring symbolizes the delicate nature and the intense value your relationship you both have with each other.

Damaged rings can be fixed as can damaged marriages.

Rings are beautiful as will be your marriage.

He should trust you with this ring with less intensity than he should with his heart.

He has the best woman of all times and all places and the ring is to show the world this fact. And the ring should shine brightly for all to see this fact.
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:00 PM   #4
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That is exactly how I see it, given this is a huge symbol of my soon to be marriage not wearing it kinda hurts. It also defeats the purpose of even buying a ring.. :/ I can understand about physical therapy because we are constantly using our hands and it could get caught and damaged easily with heavy lifting, but not wearing it afterwards out in public, just in general seems weird. Wearing a $200 ring that isn't the original that we took our vows in, makes it feel a lot less special ans my Family takes wearing the first rings pretty serious so that would work then as strange. Its a stunning ring to, so shouldn't it be seen? Not like anyone could steal it either becayse its sized to be tight on my finger that someone would have to either chop it off or pull so hard it would fling off.
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:02 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Starlightsfall View Post
That is exactly how I see it, given this is a huge symbol of my soon to be marriage not wearing it kinda hurts. It also defeats the purpose of even buying a ring.. :/ I can understand about physical therapy because we are constantly using our hands and it could get caught and damaged easily with heavy lifting, but not wearing it afterwards out in public, just in general seems weird. Wearing a $200 ring that isn't the original that we took our vows in, makes it feel a lot less special ans my Family takes wearing the first rings pretty serious so that would work then as strange. Its a stunning ring to, so shouldn't it be seen? Not like anyone could steal it either becayse its sized to be tight on my finger that someone would have to either chop it off or pull so hard it would fling off.
Tell him. Wear it.
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:04 PM   #6
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Sorry for misspelling on my phone, so its kinda wacky..
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:12 PM   #7
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Diamonds have a mohs scale rating of 10. There's not a lot that can damage the stone and the stone can be reset for a lot less than $7K, likely under $1K assuming it's 14K or 18K gold. Platinum will cost you more.

Have you had the ring appraised? You'll need an appraisal to have it insured.
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:12 PM   #8
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Yeah, my ex's was worth more than that and she wore it every day and I loved that she wore it every day! Get insurance for it. As part of the purchase, the jeweler added lifetime polishing, cleaning service. I would imagine at that price that it would have something like that?
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:15 PM   #9
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I copied and pasted "The chances of losing this precious expression of commitment increases every time it's removed and replaced. Much like life itself.

It's not the ring - it's the marriage. The ring symbolizes the delicate nature and the intense value your relationship you both have with each other.

Damaged rings can be fixed as can damaged marriages.

Rings are beautiful as will be your marriage.

He should trust you with this ring with less intensity than he should with his heart.

He has the best woman of all times and all places and the ring is to show the world this fact. And the ring should shine brightly for all to see this fact." He still seems doubtful that I should wear it all the time and I feel like the brand Tiffany is made for that purpose.. I still don't know why he would buy an expensive ring, if he doesn't want me to wear it..lol.. I am going to do it anyways, even secretly if I have to.. ><

I'm not sure if I can get insurance because the brand said they don't offer it and the only way to civer it is through home owners insurance. They said the details about the diamond/appraisal will be sent in 2 weeks but, can take up to a month.
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Last edited by Starlightsfall; 4th August 2017 at 2:18 PM..
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:21 PM   #10
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Get the ring insured. Thst way you're covered if something happens.

It's a friggin diamond. It's like the hardest rock on the darn planet.

Get over it buddy
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Old 4th August 2017, 2:43 PM   #11
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Tell him in as much a loving way you can that he's a knuckle head then give him a kiss. He will get over it

Don't let him win this. It's important. He will see this as time goes by. Just love your knuckle head with your full heart.

Have a happy marriage.
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Old 4th August 2017, 3:50 PM   #12
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Just get it insured and don't be a klutz!
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Old 4th August 2017, 4:18 PM   #13
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A 'few' years ago, I was dating a guy who had a shiny new 300zx. He let me drive it and asked me to park it at the eats.

Well, I guess the hedge touched it because he berated me on coming too close. Quite a speech, remembering it now.

Things were of great value. I did not continue to date him because well, people who value shiny, pretty things and the material 'things' aren't my cup of tea.

Maybe this is your fiance's largest purchase OP and the nervousness will subside.

Wait till your first baby spits up over the genuine Persian, silk this or car that.
Life happens, insurance....because they have convinced us.
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Old 4th August 2017, 5:59 PM   #14
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Insure it through your home owners insurance and wear it with pride. And don't wear a cheap ring for your work - it's quite normal to remove jewellery at work if it's incompatible with your job.
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Old 4th August 2017, 6:06 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
Insure it through your home owners insurance and wear it with pride. And don't wear a cheap ring for your work - it's quite normal to remove jewellery at work if it's incompatible with your job.
That is what we did too.. it costs about 75 bucks a year to add the the homeowners policy.. all you need is an appraisal from where you bought it or any appraisal company can do it too but the best one will come from where you bought it.
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