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Been away a while...for a good reason!


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 14th June 2017, 5:26 PM   #31
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Congrats Whirlwind. I've run into the same issues and it's amazing how difficult it is to find someone who is simply willing to talk through issues.
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Old 15th June 2017, 4:33 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by WhirlwindGuy View Post
I was pretty regular on here for a while last year and then I disappeared. I don't know if anyone cares, but I wanted to check in with this board and report on what has been going on with me since then.


Last year, I was all over the place. Dating is a freaking nightmare, at least for me it was. I went on so many dates "fell in love" a few times, had a lot of sex, made a lot of mistakes...it honestly was fun, hell, scary, exciting, etc all at the same time.


Around mid-June last year I met her. It was after being ghosted for the second time with someone else, I popped on Tinder again and we matched pretty quickly (that was very rare). Turns out, she just so happen to be friends with a good friend of mine at work. That seemed promising. We started chatting and she was going out of town, so we didn't meet up for a couple of weeks. First date, I was just blown away at how awesome this woman was. She was good looking, down to earth, a great conversationalist, healthy, loved kids, didn't have any of her own, had to be something wrong?!? The date, and the next handful of dates, were just effortless and fun. No pressure, no sex, no OMG she didn't say that or did say this...was just natural and felt refreshing.


We went out a few times and just clicked more and more and more. I honestly never realized how good a good relationship was. It made me realize even more how terrible my marriage was before, and how terrible the people I had been dating were. It sounds silly, and so cliché, but when things are right it just works...You don't need to constantly come to loveshack to ask what X Y or Z means, those things just naturally seem to work themselves out, when it is the right person...and this just seemed to work. You just get used to crap, and think that is just how it should be...but it doesn't have to be that way.


She loves me, she loves my son, we enjoy our friend groups together, we enjoy our solo time, family time...we just generally get along and it is soooo relieving...


We have been dating around a year now, we are set to get married soon...crazy I know...I honestly thought I would never get remarried. Things are not always perfect, of course. We have our share of disagreements, but the thing is...We TALK about them, and communicate through them. That is something I never had, even in my 10 year marriage. I honestly feel like I met my best friend. We have a blast together in almost everything we do. About the only thing we don't agree on AT ALL are TV shows...but whatever, I can concede that one.


So anyway. thank you community for all the timely advice over the past year. I know I am getting married too soon, I should probably wait 10 years etc etc...but i'm not. I'm going to give it another go, and hopefully it will be the last. Life is most definitely a whirlwind, and even through the hurt, and uncertainty and craziness, I wouldn't change a thing.


Those of you feeling the pressure and hell that dating can be. Don't fret. It seems like when you least expect it, when you are going to just give up on it and become a hermit and collect cats...something like this may come along.


Hopefully I wont be back here in a few years on the divorce boards, starting over...but you only live once, right?


Cheers!
Great story. Life is for living. I'm following the same path.
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