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Wedding Planning Ultimate Thread


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 5th October 2017, 8:44 AM   #61
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Not even 60 hours to go and my fiancé is coming down with a cold. It figures. We're both popping tons of zinc while we can.

Tangentially related: as I mentioned earlier, I recently got LASIK. It turns out the nerve behind your eyeballs affected by LASIK is the same nerve where facial HSV1 is activated. So if you've ever had cold sores, you have to take medication for two weeks before and a full month after your surgery. As it turns out there's only one medication on the market that prevents cold sore outbreaks---yup, you guessed it: valcyclovir.

My fiancé finds this hilarious. "Don't forget to take your Valtrex!" he hollers. Well, the joke's on him: some research suggests valcyclovir is also moderately effective at preventing colds. I feel fine for now but am desperate not to be sick at my own wedding. With my luck it's inevitable.

Maybe I'm crazy or delusional, but the previous panic has subsided. I still feel a sort of numb shock that I'm actually putting on a wedding dress this weekend, but the party itself seems just about done. Tonight I will finish packing for the honeymoon and assemble my bag for the wedding. My fiancé plans to bring all our stuff to the venue. On Saturday morning all I have to do is my epic morning workout, walk to get lunch, and put on a pretty dress.

I am thinking about my father a lot. His father was just in a serious car accident, his middle daughter is a week away from giving birth to his first grandchild, and his youngest daughter is getting married. Even for someone as notoriously emotionless as my dad that has to be a lot to process.
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Old 6th October 2017, 11:21 AM   #62
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My husband and I have started to attend Catholic church.
We didn't marry in a Catholic church so I cannot receive the Eucharist until we have a convalidation ceremony. We also hated our elopement and that decision upset many people.

So we're planning on having a Catholic convalidation in October 2021. It's basically going to be a Catholic wedding. We'll have all the bells and whistles of a wedding except a wedding party, gifts and showers. We're both really excited.
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Old 6th October 2017, 11:28 AM   #63
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Congratulations! Why did you elope if you both hated it? Was it just because you needed the paperwork done?

Two of my coworkers are having big Catholic weddings and they sound daunting but exciting at the same time. So many flowers!
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Old 6th October 2017, 12:13 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by lana-banana View Post
Congratulations! Why did you elope if you both hated it? Was it just because you needed the paperwork done?

Two of my coworkers are having big Catholic weddings and they sound daunting but exciting at the same time. So many flowers!
Thanks! We eloped because a wedding was out of our budget and my parents were being very controlling about the wedding. It was a fiasco.

We're only having 80 people. I don't even know if I want a lot of flowers in the church. We're going to use high grade artificial flowers for decor.
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Old 7th October 2017, 7:50 AM   #65
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Thanks! We eloped because a wedding was out of our budget and my parents were being very controlling about the wedding. It was a fiasco.

We're only having 80 people. I don't even know if I want a lot of flowers in the church. We're going to use high grade artificial flowers for decor.
I'm all about artificial flowers! We have them too for the corsages and boutinneres (no actual flowers). 80 is still a lot, but that's relative, right? My coworker told me with a straight face she "couldn't imagine less than 200." Meanwhile we have 65 and that feels like plenty!
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Old 7th October 2017, 7:57 AM   #66
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My mother turned her already lovely home into House Beautiful last night, with lots of stunning (and adorable) details like a bureau covered with engagement photos and herbs in glass maple syrup jars. My mom is the original hipster for sure.

We had incredible food, from my mom's crudites and homemade sauces to the catered barbecue and the excellent baked apples she made for dessert. The barbecue was so exquisite it may honestly have triggered a breakthrough in his family. Not only did no one kill each other last night, there was conversation! Between HIS PARENTS! My fiancé and his sister watched in shock while his mother and father had a somewhat stilted conversation about moose in the highways. (They're from way up North.) For two people who exchanged a single sentence two years ago and solid silence for seven years before that, it's practically earthshattering.

I'm at the hotel. I finished a really kick-ass workout and feel amazing. It's time to switch off my devices and just breathe. Signing off for now---but will probably be back tomorrow while waiting around at the airport. Thanks for coming on this journey with me, LS. Lots of love and best wishes for you all.
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Old 7th October 2017, 8:08 AM   #67
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Enjoy your special day Lana

Thinking of you both with love and a smile XO
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just dance
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Old 7th October 2017, 2:22 PM   #68
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The big day is today - enjoy the party Lana, be the coolest bride And update us from the airport or whenever you can
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Old 7th October 2017, 3:05 PM   #69
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Congratulations! Can't wait to hear all about it.
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Old 7th October 2017, 11:04 PM   #70
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Congratulations Lana Banana!
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Old 8th October 2017, 4:35 PM   #71
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I had my dream wedding. I didn't even have a dream in mind, but this was everything I envisioned and so much more. If it had gone half as well I would have been ecstatic. As it was my husband and I are in shock. It feels like a fantasy.

Did I feel like a "serene princess" and all the other BS people promised? Of course not. But after a long, difficult workout that morning I felt like my typical neurotic self, and that was wonderful. The hair and makeup artist was a bit late but he still had me ready to go in ninety minutes. We took first look pictures with the photographer, which were allegedly beautiful. I don't know. He captured one of my husband laughing at a joke and me mock-shoving him that I love. It's an accurate reflection of our silly dynamic.

But the event...

Family photos were done in a half-hour, right in time for us to greet the first of the other guests. The party itself unfolded like something out of a movie. Our cocktail menus got people loosened up fast, especially when they realized we had separate drinks in separate areas. The non-alcoholic drinks also won rave reviews. Within about an hour guests were mingling and chatting across friends and family groups.

We had two toasts, one from the best man and one from the man of honor. My man of honor made a couple cracks about my Worst Ex, the one who damaged me more than anybody, and---I laughed. I laughed until I cried. Granted, my friend is hilarious, but as I was laughing I felt something unexpected rippling over me. It was like discovering a familiar scar had disappeared. Just being able to laugh at what had once been the most acutely painful moment of my life was exhilarating.

Our one dance was perfect. Midway through the dance, our dear friends who now live halfway around the world joined in via FaceTime. So we stopped and waved like lunatics. They stayed on for about fifteen minutes, even "posing" for pictures with us and friends. Having them "there" was so special.

The food and drink was better than we'd ever hoped for. I ate way too many of the peanut butter and jelly mini-pies. Our croquembouche tower was the stuff of legend. Guests filled themselves on cookie butter cake, fried chicken, salt-roasted fish, foie gras, and local crab cakes. My husband bought himself a glass of a 1984 bourbon he'd been eyeing. Later that night his friend bought him a glass of 1942 Jameson. (It was delicious, but Irish whiskey doesn't age all that well. I much preferred the bourbon.)

The chef made my husband a friend chicken sandwich topped with Petrossian caviar and foie gras. What an enabler!

But the best part, the unequivocal best part, was how many people told us in no uncertain terms it was the best wedding they had ever attended. People raved over how laid back it was, how they felt relaxed about socializing over a free open bar all night, how easy-going and simple we were, how much fun it was to just enjoy the party. Multiple couples said they wished they had done their own weddings this way. A friend said "I hate weddings because forced socializing gives me anxiety, and this was the first time I actually had fun!" One of my husband's particularly haughty friends proclaimed it the best wedding ever. And everyone agreed that it was true to what they know and love about the bananas: we have the best food, drink and hospitality.

We're waiting to board our flight now. I am excited for the honeymoon, but I am weirdly looking forward to focusing on the house full-time. It'll be so much easier. (I am not, however, looking forward to sorting all our belongings and gifts when we get home. I hate unpacking anything!) Most of all I am looking forward to the rest of my life with my superhero.

Final costs:

Hair and makeup, plus gratuity: $360
Venue, food and drink (covered by parents despite our protestations that we would handle it): $14850
Cabs to and from the venue: $30
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Old 8th October 2017, 6:50 PM   #72
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Wedding sounds amazing. And it stood out to me that it was right in the vibe that you're describing throughout the thread. Laid back, great food/drinks, mingling guests. I know this makes sense but big events have a factor of unpredictability- you seem to have got this under control

Hope you and your husband have a blast of a honeymoon!
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Old 9th October 2017, 9:22 PM   #73
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I'm so happy that you had a lovely wedding. Enjoy your honeymoon!
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Old 9th October 2017, 9:49 PM   #74
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My Catholic wedding isn't for a few years but I am having fun looking at options and bookmarking. Don't laugh!

What does everyone think of buffets? I find them more cost effective but I'm also concerned about a buffet looking tacky.
Plated meals seem more elegant but they are more expensive.
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Old 10th October 2017, 4:12 AM   #75
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Waiting for a final flight connection...we did a buffet and it was amazing! There is absolutely nothing wrong with buffets; they eliminate waste, and there's no guarantee plated food is any better. In fact, it's often worse. Certainly no one complained about our buffet of foie gras and crab cakes.

One of the best weddings I attended had a potato buffet. You chose your own style (baked, sweet, mashed) and toppings. We all loved it.
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