LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > Getting Married

Wedding Planning Ultimate Thread


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

Like Tree144Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 5th July 2017, 6:27 PM   #31
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,191
Quote:
Originally Posted by No_Go View Post
The 'SALE' on the licence is hilarious - I'm curious can you really get the licence on sale ?

Did you get the licence and the certificate in the same day? I thought you need to wait (I think it differs per country/state) and the licence has an expiration date like on your learners permit for driving
You can get the license up to two weeks in advance. For couples having religious or large ceremonies I think it's standard to start the paperwork and mail the completed form back after your wedding day. But if you just want to get it done, like we did, there's no need to wait at all.

Cost of license: $35
Certified copy of license: $10
Cab ride to courthouse: $11.50
Cost of invitations: $176
Hair and makeup trial for engagement photos: $125
Wedding night before/night of hotel room: $0
No_Go likes this.
lana-banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th July 2017, 6:55 PM   #32
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 3,496
You're absolutely killing the numbers - for all the dudes that claim that getting married is too expensive for them to go forward!

I also think the hotel the night before and after is a GREAT idea - the last thing that you want to think it that time is household chores and home repairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by lana-banana View Post
You can get the license up to two weeks in advance. For couples having religious or large ceremonies I think it's standard to start the paperwork and mail the completed form back after your wedding day. But if you just want to get it done, like we did, there's no need to wait at all.

Cost of license: $35
Certified copy of license: $10
Cab ride to courthouse: $11.50
Cost of invitations: $176
Hair and makeup trial for engagement photos: $125
Wedding night before/night of hotel room: $0
No_Go is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th July 2017, 5:14 AM   #33
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,191
My wedding dress was supposed to arrive in mid-June. At the time, I called and asked; they told me it still hadn't arrived yet and delays of 2-4 weeks were common (brides take note!). Afterwards I forgot about it because we're doing a ton of work on the house and busy with business travel, cooking, canning, my certification course, etc. A wedding dress really doesn't feel that important. It had all but slipped my mind when I got a call last week telling me it was in. That would have been fine, except I gained 2 pounds on our mini-vacation and wasn't sure my waist would fit. Even at the time of the initial fitting the attendant wasn't sure if my waist would fit, and that was when I was lighter! So I had just a few days to try to lose the weight.

As I write this, I realize it sounds insane. My co-workers thought it sounded insane too. "Two pounds is nothing. Why not just buy some Spanx?" I didn't have an answer to that and I still don't. What I did, however, was spend a couple days crash-dieting until I damn near gnawed off my own arm. It was almost like a religious ritual; I felt if I tormented myself enough, I might be able to avoid the horrible scourge of a dress that didn't fit.

Well. The day came, and I wasn't pleased with the "progress" I'd made on the scale, but it wasn't terrible either. And you know what else wasn't terrible? The dress. It fit like a dream. Every part of it fit. The waist didn't even feel tight. Even the attendant was surprised. I was personally shocked, not only because of the whole waist thing but my body in general is not suited for most clothing: I'm very petite, but I'm also a weight-lifter, so very few shirts and pants fit me comfortably. This was incredible.

Now to get it altered. I need the entire train taken out so I can just have it skimming my heels like a normal dress. Wedding dress alterations are so comically expensive, between $400 and $700. Don't get me wrong, I love my dress, but I am absolutely going to sell this once it's over. Lasting memories aren't worth money that could be better spent on home renovations.
No_Go likes this.
lana-banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th July 2017, 6:24 AM   #34
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,998
Congratulations Lana! Sounds so exciting !

We're getting married next Saturday, exactly a week from now. We have 45 guests, and that includes us. Wedding planning was somewhat stressful but not too stressful.

My dress I got after just one trip to Davids bridal, I didn't have any parties beforehand etc. Dress is 50s style is not long. I got light blue bedazzled sandals. I didn't buy bridesmaids dresses only their bouquets. I didn't even want bridesmaids it's not a thing back home. I also don't pay for their hair and make up . I got them small gifts .

Chose a venue at the university, got the most expensive food menu they had so there is enough food but there is still not enough food by the standard of my home country . But overall what we have sounds simpler than what other people do. Ah my son will play the cello in a cello quartet at the ceremony. We use a contemporary ceremony text and we don't have speeches of any kind. The wedding timing will be different than the American weddings. We don't eat everything and then dance. We dance throughout the dinner and courses are spaced out , people
Dance in between . Cake comes last and after that wedding is over.

Other details : got a photographer and DJ , have flowers made professionally but I have the absolute minimum amount : bouquets two big vases, ceremony aisle decorations and that's it.

I will have hair and make up come to my house the day of. Rented a limousine to take us to the venue.

Everything we paid so far seems to be about half off what you're describing , advances , as well as the wedding dress. Mine was about 850. I was just one dress up from street size .

My family is here from overseas and they will stay a total of theee weeks. Already driving each other a bit nuts . They don't like air conditioning and they eat a very limited menu. I have them cook because I can't match their tastes. I mean, they eat the same damn thing every day.

Other than that it's exciting but I was wondering why didn't we just elope? I recommend that to anyone who doesn't like s lot of fuss )

Last edited by BluEyeL; 15th July 2017 at 6:26 AM..
BluEyeL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th July 2017, 7:41 AM   #35
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,191
Ahhh, congratulations! I'm so excited for you! Tea length dresses are beautiful! I have to agree with you: it's not worth it. I would be really happy just eloping. But having a small celebration, even just a little party, means a lot to my fiancÚ and our families. You will have to let us know how it goes, especially with the food! What are you guys eating? What pieces will your son be playing? And the light blue sandals---that sounds like such a nice touch!

We aren't having a DJ, dancing, bridesmaids, flowers (his mother has severe allergies), a ceremony, any of that. It's not our style. We just want people to eat and drink! We cook so much and host so many dinner parties that we cared most about putting on a nice meal.

In terms of costs, we live in a big city, so everything here is more expensive. We've tried to save where we can, but we are also splurging on the meal, so it kinda evens out. We did get an incredible deal on our photographer; the average cost for a halfway decent photographer here is about 2500, and most of my friends paid double that. I understand the value of beautiful pictures but that would just never be a priority for us.
BluEyeL likes this.
lana-banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th July 2017, 8:19 AM   #36
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,998
Lana, what you're doing sounds very nice! It's important to have some kind of celebration, that's why we also decided to have a wedding, although initially we wanted to elope. My soon to be husband is not social, and I"m not very social either. But the family is coming from overseas and it's important not to let the occasion pass with no celebration

We are having guests being greeted with a glass of champagne while we have pictures after the ceremony. The ceremony is in the same building, after the ceremony, venue doors open and guests can go upstairs and get their drink at the door. Then there are appetizer passed around: mini beef wellington, sun-dried tomato with boursin cheese on pita points with pine nuts, sweedish meatballs. There is also a potato martini bar (or something): Potato Martini Bar - Yukon Gold/Truffle-Red Bliss/Basil-
Yams/Honey ~ Cheddar, Bleu Cheese, Onions, Bacon, Olives, Tomatoes, Sour Cream, Mushroom Ragout, Brown Sugar, Honey

International Cheese Tray with Crackers; Garden Vegetable Crudite Tray with Ranch Dip

Assorted Artisan Rolls with Butter; Caesar Salad with Freshly-grated Parmesan Cheese

SERVE AT 6:45 PM Grilled Salmon and Grilled Petite Filet Mignon; Vegetable Lasagna; Boursin Demi-Glace; Green Beans *BRIDE WOULD LIKE ASPARAGUS; Parmesan Risotto
SERVE AT 7:30 PM Golden Rings Dessert Table

Dessert Fondue Station - 3 Flavors and 6 Dippers

Fresh Seasonal Fruit Tray

Assorted Miniature French Pastries and Dessert Bars

Dark Chocolate

Butterscotch

Peanut Butter

Pretzel Rods

Fruit Kabobs

Biscotti

Brownie Bites

Chocolate Sandwich Cookies


Golden Rings Coffee Station - Pillow Mints and Mixed Nuts

Starbucks Verona Regular and Decaffeinated Coffee Assorted

Hot Teas - Hot Chocolate

Whipped Cream, Chocolate Shavings, Cinnamon Sticks and

Assorted Flavored Syrups

Golden Punch


The Golden Rings Beverage Package

4-Hour Deluxe Open Bar

Unlimited Non-Alcoholic Beverages

Soda, Juice and Mineral Water

House Champagne Toast - 1 glass per person

Coors Light

Miller Lite

Heineken

People's Moundbuilder IPA

Smirnoff, Ron Rico, Bombay, Jim Beam, Seagram's 7,

Johnnie Walker, Jose Cuervo, Kahlua, Captain Morgan,

Bailey's and Malibu

Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Cabernet and Merlot

The photographer is about $800. DJ about the same. Flowers also, similar price. Cake comes at the end, is red velvet with something something I forgot lol Cake tasting was too long ago.

So that's what's on the menu Ah and we also have an ice sculpture, supposedly included in the package.
BluEyeL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th July 2017, 10:29 AM   #37
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 3,569
Sounds amazing!!!! Congrats
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd July 2017, 9:25 PM   #38
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,998
Got married yesterday! It was beautiful, a perfect day! I'm so happy ! Everything went great, food was delicious and plentiful, flowers beautiful, everyone looked classy and was nice. Got compliments on the dress. Best compliment from the photographer,who asked my 15 yo son to stand to my left : "have your brother stand to your left" ) I said he is my son but thank you! )

We are happy and can't wait to go on the honeymoon on Wed!
BluEyeL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd July 2017, 9:26 PM   #39
Established Member
 
Cookiesandough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 3,569
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueyel View Post
got married yesterday! It was beautiful, a perfect day! I'm so happy ! Everything went great, food was delicious and plentiful, flowers beautiful, everyone looked classy and was nice. Got compliments on the dress. Best compliment from the photographer,who asked my 15 yo son to stand to my left : "have your brother stand to your left" ) i said he is my son but thank you! )

we are happy and can't wait to go on the honeymoon on wed!
yeeeeeee So happy for you. Enjoy your honeymoon
Cookiesandough is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd July 2017, 9:28 PM   #40
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,998
Thanks !
BluEyeL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2017, 6:27 PM   #41
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,191
I was just opening this thread to see if there had been any updates about your wedding. It's so great to hear that you had such a fabulous time! It sounds like it was everything you dreamed it would be and more. Enjoy your honeymoon and get plenty of rest! Or...not rest, ahem. I'm sure you'll have time for both!

I'm not sure how this board feels about good faith product opinions. We ordered envelopes that, while beautiful, were shoddily done. About six of the envelopes were missing last names and two didn't print at all. They offered us a credit towards another order, but why would we buy again when the product quality is so inconsistent? Anyone looking to buy wedding stationery from a site that rhymes with "Bedding Shaper Tevas" should probably look elsewhere.

(Luckily for us the actual invitations, laser-cut cards we had made by a professional in Poland, are stunning. These will fulfill my mom's desire for a fancy invitation she can show off to her garden club.)

After some fits and starts and questions, I finally picked out a wedding band from the same wonderful local shop where we bought my engagement ring. We got fantastic service from them the first time and I really wanted a ring I knew would have conflict-free diamonds. The band I settled on is platinum with fifty-eight little diamonds around the sides. There's still enough flat space on it to do engraving, which I asked for; I wanted a pattern to match my engagement ring. The jeweler cut me an enormous discount because my fiance is almost certainly going to buy his band there too.

I dropped off my dress for alterations. All we had to do is chop off the entire train, but it's still pretty costly. Rather than go to a wedding dress specialist I went to a local dry cleaner where all my friends have their everyday tailoring and dry cleaning done. The woman was incredibly professional and charged me about $300 less than anywhere else I had seen. It still strikes me as ridiculous. If I needed the chest or arms redone, I'd get it, but we're just chopping a couple feet of fabric off the back! Oh well. There are a lot of shops where the price of alteration is upwards of two or three thousand dollars. I just can't justify it when my dress wasn't that expensive and I plan on selling or donating this dress anyway.

Here is the food menu for our event:

Foie gras torchons
Scallop ceviche
Salad with smoked egg
Fried chicken (my special request!)
Purple potato salad
Salt-roasted whole fish
Local crab cakes

Earl Grey-chocolate milk cake
Elderflower-lemon chocolate cake
Butterscotch croquembouche tower
Rose petal macarons
Lavender macarons
Grasshopper icebox pies
Peanut butter and jelly icebox pies

If that sounds excessive, the drink menu is actually longer than the food menu (it's a bar/lounge, after all). I have some incredibly exciting news about our venue, but it will wait until we get closer to the actual date. No spoilers, not even for LS.

Last night I had my first wedding-related dream. I dreamed the hair and makeup artist didn't show up. Everyone else was losing their sh-t but I was more or less unbothered. I kept insisting we could just go to CVS and pick something up and I'd just put my hair in a ponytail. This is pretty close to how I'd react if it actually happened, I think. I'm never going to be a hair and makeup lady.

Cost of envelopes and RSVP cards: $81
Cost of stamps for envelopes and RSVP cards: $52
Cost of wedding band: $1634
Cost of dress alterations: $423
BluEyeL likes this.
lana-banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th July 2017, 9:27 PM   #42
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,998
Thanks Lana! Everything was really great indeed. I loved that one of my husbands friends who said almost never danced, not even at his own wedding, danced a lot and he said he will dance more often from now on.

Your menu sounds delicious and very fancy When is the wedding?
BluEyeL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th July 2017, 5:20 AM   #43
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,191
Quote:
Originally Posted by BluEyeL View Post
Thanks Lana! Everything was really great indeed. I loved that one of my husbands friends who said almost never danced, not even at his own wedding, danced a lot and he said he will dance more often from now on.

Your menu sounds delicious and very fancy When is the wedding?
Early October! It feels like it's right around the corner. Getting close to just two months...I love your story about the dancing. If just one guest leaves having learned something new about themselves, it's a great success! I bet the music was amazing!
BluEyeL likes this.
lana-banana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th July 2017, 3:36 PM   #44
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,998
Getting close ! I'm sure it's going to be a perfect day !

I'm having a bit of an adrenaline crash, I need a new big project . I'm sorry all the planning and the day are over!
BluEyeL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th July 2017, 7:16 PM   #45
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,278
My ex was a mess about all the details up till the day before. I told her just enjoy the day no matter what. If the church catches fire, we do the ceremony on the street, if the hall has a leak in the roof or the food is horrible, just enjoy the day. The celebration of a joining, a marriage and of the public acknowledgement that is the joy of the day.

The marriage failed to live of to the joy of the day. Being a BS has harmed me greatly, but the joy of that day lives on. We both had a great day.
Jersey born raised is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Odd regarding engement and wedding planning Chewy2007 Getting Married 6 15th July 2007 10:14 PM
Wedding planning....different religions.... xo_confused_xo Getting Married 2 9th September 2005 12:03 PM
Planning a Wedding? billybadass36 Getting Married 11 23rd December 2004 6:38 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:21 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.