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heart is aching [UPDATE Putting off wedding...]


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 29th December 2016, 3:13 PM   #16
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When people show you who they are, believe them.
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Old 29th December 2016, 3:15 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenheart2016 View Post
I got engaged 1 year ago and putting it off due to trust issues....

Can a person trust someone that was not faithful from the beginning?
Can someone change...

He did it to his ex wife before their divorce and to myself for 4 years out of 4.5 year relationship .....can he change or is he playing with my head? He thinks that texing,sexting,messages and indecent pictures to other females were no big deal but promises to never do it again! Heard that before and he did it again.

I have not seen anything in the last year that makes me think he is unfaithful but to trust again is so hard with his past!
Maybe you better re-read your other thread.
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Old 29th December 2016, 6:54 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenheart2016 View Post
I got engaged 1 year ago and putting it off due to trust issues....

Can a person trust someone that was not faithful from the beginning?
Can someone change...

He did it to his ex wife before their divorce and to myself for 4 years out of 4.5 year relationship .....can he change or is he playing with my head? He thinks that texing,sexting,messages and indecent pictures to other females were no big deal but promises to never do it again! Heard that before and he did it again.

I have not seen anything in the last year that makes me think he is unfaithful but to trust again is so hard with his past!
Honestly if he didn't learn from it after his D I do not believe this is something he cares to work on. I believe he has shown you who he really is and I am sorry.
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Old 21st January 2017, 2:57 PM   #19
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I am one who believes it is hard for people to change even if they want to. If he cheated on his ex wife and you, I would be nervous. He may cheat again. Could you forgive him?
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Old 6th February 2017, 1:46 PM   #20
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Thank You everyone!! I need an eye opener and i appreciate your feedback!! This makes me stronger to move on cause I know I deserve it!! I'll be back to let you know when im all moved out...I can do this!!!!Thanks again!!
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Old 6th February 2017, 3:14 PM   #21
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I'm sorry things didn't work out for your wedding but better to find that out now before you marry then later.


Best wishes on your next steps.
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Old 7th February 2017, 9:43 AM   #22
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It is very difficult to notice sometimes, my husband has cheated on me before our marriage and after, for 4 years (this is our whole marriage btw) and I haven't noticed. If you can't trust someone, you just can't - end of the story. I won't be able to trust him ever again, so I will divorce him. I always put myself first, no matter what.
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Old 7th February 2017, 2:26 PM   #23
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Your real problem is that he can't acknowledge any wrong in those things. He's promised not to do them again, but what about all the other things he never made a promise about? He probably doesn't think they're wrong either, so what's to stop him.

This is your emotions trying to override your good sense. I'm astounded at how successful they've been. From what you describe, this isn't even a difficult choice, if you have self-respect. Why are you still with him?
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Old 8th February 2017, 8:40 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by brokenheart2016 View Post
Thank You everyone!! I need an eye opener and i appreciate your feedback!! This makes me stronger to move on cause I know I deserve it!! I'll be back to let you know when im all moved out...I can do this!!!!Thanks again!!
You've been putting this off since you other thread last July. Hope you're not posting here in July '17 about how unhappy you are ...

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