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We want to get married but my parents won't give their blessing...


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Old 30th September 2016, 11:12 AM   #16
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It really bothers me that people are still so racists in all colors. My ex husband was Mexican, his mother hated HATED me because I was white. My family accepted him just fine, but man I'll tell you his mother was a piece of work.




Now for me, money is now a big thing to me. Not for materialism but for knowing he wants to be something in life, have enough for later years. Being divorced because my ex decided after we married he wanted to work for himself, after 2 years he did NOT make more than a couple hundred dollars. He was waiting for that silver spoon to pop in his mouth. When you say you'll work on the money part, the direction that's heading. With both incomes: Is it going to be enough to raise children? Is it going to give y'all the house you need/want? Things to put into thought and really consider them. My income supported 2 adults (him and his friend that showed up) 6 horses, and a few dogs. I choose my new partner with my past mistakes in mind. Not saying to get rid of the fiancÚ but maybe see what his goals are, and if they aren't up to par maybe y'all both need to switch things up, I dunno.


What I would do (and I live in the US), if y'all truly are ready. Get engaged, send wedding invites, and tell them you need to support us or stay out of my life. You have a new family that you need to put first, not the family that isn't accepting him because of cultural differences.
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Old 4th October 2016, 10:15 PM   #17
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I am familiar with Asian cultures.

At 31 and a female your parents know you are past the age an Asian man would be interested in you as a wife.

Tell them If you don't marry this man chances are you will never marry, I think in your culture that would be an even bigger dishonor.
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Old 21st November 2016, 1:09 PM   #18
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That is horribly old fashioned and unfair, they should want you to be happy and loved. This isn't a business arrangement or something for them to brag about to their friends, this is the relationship you will have for hopefully the rest of your life. Emotional support is so much more important than financial!

The financial and age expectations where the man has to be the provider and protector come from a time when women did not have the same rights and freedom we have now. Before there weren't even jobs for women beyond being a secretary or stewardess and those expectations come from a world where women's place is in the kitchen.

Not that there is anything wrong with being a stay at home mother if that's what you choose, but YOU are the one that gets to choose now.

My boyfriend is a year and a half younger than me and makes a bit less money. He does all of the cooking and most of the cleaning (he likes to) while i'm in school and work a lot of OT. In the near future he is opening an eatery and then I will probably take more care of the house than he. We have agreed that when we have kids whoever is making more money will continue to work while the other stays home or works part-time until the kids are ready to go to school or daycare.

Try to explain to your parents that you love them, but that you are the one that gets to decide how your life pans out. Ask them if they would prefer you were in a loveless marriage where the man provided for you financially but not emotionally, when you can provide for yourself financially already if need be.
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Old 13th December 2016, 9:34 AM   #19
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Your origins are discriminatory and classist. Do what you consider is best. They will grow up it, or both won't. I wouldn't consider. You are 31 years old, don't make your origins deliver something to you.
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