Kansas Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Feeling a little irritated. Foolishly agreed to be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding (not super close friend - have known her for a couple of years). The original plan was they were having a small wedding - church ceremony, reception for closest friends and then hosting a 'thank you' dinner for the bridal party and their significant others at a local restaurant (price point was in the $50 range per person). 12 people total including the bride and groom. Buy the dinner and drinks at bachelorette, get told that the wedding shower is "cash only - no gifts", buy the dress, buy the shoes pay for our own hair and make-up for the big day and then the bride tells me ... well, we've decided we're doing a garden reception at a friend's house after the ceremony ... we're keeping it casual. Whoever wants to show up can show up (WTF?) and we've decided we're not doing anything (not even a token thank you gift) for the bridal party - whoever wants to show up for dinner can. We have the room reserved, but you pay for your own dinner. And please bring cash to the wedding. My SO is so irritated that he's not going to the wedding at all. So basically, free wedding venue, guests pay for their own dinner, dad's a photographer, family member is doing the music ... I quote " wedding is not costing us all that much" ... we want cash for our wedding and we're going to Fiji for our honeymoon for 2 weeks. Meanwhile I'm now out several hundred dollars and we have not come close to the wedding ... have not even received a wedding invitation (they meant to drop it off but haven't because they didn't want to pay for postage if they didn't have to) .... If I could of pulled out at that moment I would have ... I have no problem giving a wedding gift, but all of this is starting to feel like a complete cash grab. Basically, I'm paying for you to get married and getting Costco appetizers at your wedding and funding your trip to Fiji (in an economy where everyone has lost their jobs). I've thrown dinner parties more lavish than this and haven't put a donation box at the front door. Anyways point of all this - what on earth do I give as a wedding present that is not going to break the bank. She is NOT getting any more cash. Oh and BTW, I have not met the groom yet. This is some guy she met at a bar 3 months ago ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Foolishly agreed to be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding. that's your first mistake 2 Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 I think $5.00 should do the trick. Sounds like a cash grab to me. If she doesn't talk to you afterwards she wasn't a friend to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 do you feel that you could be open with her.......say what you have said here......minus the judgement and more on how you feel and the money you have already spent......that you are sorry but you havent got much money left to do as she wishes....if you were my friend.....and it was my wedding i woudl appreciate and respect the honesty and if you were my friend...it wouldnt matter to me what you bought you could turn up in a hession bag with no money no gift and ask me for cab fare to get home..and i would just be happy to have you there to share my day with me i would gladly get that cab for you... its a most special day to share with people in my opinion and her bridal party and guests seems to be only close people to her...its small in other words.......however distant you feel from her...she obviously considers you close...you are her bridesmaid.......maybe she feels the same way as i would.....talk to her be open be honest ..is my heartfelt advice..i hope it all works out and her day is lovely wherever she holds it....for her.... her fiancee and...you.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kansas Posted June 14, 2016 Author Share Posted June 14, 2016 Thanks so much for the replies ... This is going to sound awful to say, but I really think that she already knows that she's doing a cash grab. I searched my basement and did find a lovely present to re-gift ... still in the box, unopened, unused, and very pretty, just not to my taste and perfect for the occasion. She will be non the wiser. Thanks for allowing me the rant. I needed it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 I don't think I could be friends with someone so tactless. Tell her you can't make this wedding, but you'll try harder to make the next one she has. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Oh and BTW, I have not met the groom yet. This is some guy she met at a bar 3 months ago ... This is freakin' priceless. Well, not for you since you've spent a ton of money. This dumbass is marrying some guy she met in a bar only 3 months ago? Has he sobered up yet? Yeah, at this point, I'd just fake my own death. LOL .. wedding gift 'etiquette' my ass. Get her a $25 savings bond. I guarantee you the bond will last longer than this welfare wedding and marriage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tottenhang Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Hey guys, Glad to get your topic here. If you need more help about wedding ideas simply visit the link Best Hens Night Ideas: Melbourne Edition - farewell fiancé! Thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
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