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How likely can a marriage last with a guy who isn't straight?


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My boyfriend and I want to get married and plan to in July. There are several reasons I want to get married. We've been together for almost a year. And things have gone alright. We have similar personalities. Plus there are other reasons. He's been married before and it ended in a divorce. And since he has been very open that he has had same sex relationships after that quite often but considers himself bisexual. More though off a technicality. Than anything. I guess not sure like can a guy really be bisexual? And also am I wasting my time? If I am I still don't think I'd break up with him. I just want outside opinions on this. Advice?

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I would not marry someone that gives me an 'alright' relationship.

 

I would not date a man who has homosexual sex. The HIV virus is most predominant in this group of people.

 

If you decide to marry this man you will have to use condoms with him for the rest of your life and you'll have to be tested regularly. Is he really worth jeopardizing your health and your life?

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I knew a gay guy for several years who only dated men and then married a woman. They were together until he died of some cancer in his 40s. He had a lot of health problems, but the problem became he'd be too crippled up from a hip thing to even have sex, but then when he got that re-operated on and felt better, he started calling me and was deeply yearning to be with a man sexually and starting to plot things behind her back.

 

So it can get dicey. But there can be love. It's just that even if they go for just sex, that's risky to you, plus they might fall for someone else.

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I would not marry someone that gives me an 'alright' relationship.

 

I would not date a man who has homosexual sex. The HIV virus is most predominant in this group of people.

 

If you decide to marry this man you will have to use condoms with him for the rest of your life and you'll have to be tested regularly. Is he really worth jeopardizing your health and your life?

 

 

 

Like I said I liked him a lot and he's a good boyfriend. He can give me everything I want basically. And as far as I know he doesn't cheat on anyone he's with. He's been generally honest about his like sexual needs. And I'm basically ok with that. I mean there's always compromise in a relationship. And we've both been tested neither of us have hiv. My issue is he wants a family later on. I don't know how long it will last that's my issue with it. I guess that's his problem.

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Like I said I liked him a lot and he's a good boyfriend. He can give me everything I want basically. And as far as I know he doesn't cheat on anyone he's with. He's been generally honest about his like sexual needs. And I'm basically ok with that. I mean there's always compromise in a relationship. And we've both been tested neither of us have hiv. My issue is he wants a family later on. I don't know how long it will last that's my issue with it. I guess that's his problem.

 

What do you mean honest about his sexual needs? If he marries you he will still have this sexual needs to go toward men. Do you mean you will allow him?

 

If you don't know how long it will last it's because you see an end to it? If you see an end to it then why get into it?

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I knew a gay guy for several years who only dated men and then married a woman. They were together until he died of some cancer in his 40s. He had a lot of health problems, but the problem became he'd be too crippled up from a hip thing to even have sex, but then when he got that re-operated on and felt better, he started calling me and was deeply yearning to be with a man sexually and starting to plot things behind her back.

 

So it can get dicey. But there can be love. It's just that even if they go for just sex, that's risky to you, plus they might fall for someone else.

 

 

 

He doesn't say he's gay. He says he's bisexual. I don't think he'd cheat we actually have sex a lot of the time and we both have very satisfied sex lives mutually. There is evidence he does have attraction to women I guess. We both watch lesbian porn and he actually prefers it that way. I rather watch gay porn but he's not very interested in that.

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What do you mean honest about his sexual needs? If he marries you he will still have this sexual needs to go toward men. Do you mean you will allow him?

 

If you don't know how long it will last it's because you see an end to it? If you see an end to it then why get into it?

 

 

 

Yeah but maybe he just can't find women that are into what he likes therefore that's why he mainly dated men. I am open to having sex in many different ways so I was fine with accomodating to his needs. I don't think he's gay though. And there's no evidence that he is cheating.

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I am not in love. I don't think. I like my bf a lot. Majorly though we both have reasons why we want to get married. I personally want to because. I'm a college student. I struggled before I got to the US and I want permanent residency and we go very well together. We live together and things are pretty good. He I think wants to get married for other reasons as well. He's a lot older than me too. Anyway, basically with marriage I feel like we have a good relationship together enough to make it work for a while at least

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RecentChange

Marriages aren't supposed to be for a while, they are supposed to be forever. Are you ready to vow to commit to him forever?

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Be honest with him about what kind of marriage you want and see if he is up for it. It would be wrong to deceive him.

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whichwayisup
I am not in love. I don't think. I like my bf a lot. Majorly though we both have reasons why we want to get married. I personally want to because. I'm a college student. I struggled before I got to the US and I want permanent residency and we go very well together. We live together and things are pretty good. He I think wants to get married for other reasons as well. He's a lot older than me too. Anyway, basically with marriage I feel like we have a good relationship together enough to make it work for a while at least

 

As long as you tell him the truth. If he deeply in love with you then you might need to reconsider as it's not fair to marry him if you're not feeling the same as he is.

 

Saying vows to someone is serious stuff, if you can picture yourself leaving him once you become a citizen then that's not fair to him at all.

 

Also many bi people can commit to one person, so unless you're thinking open marriage, better talk to him.

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Marriages aren't supposed to be for a while, they are supposed to be forever. Are you ready to vow to commit to him forever?

 

well I want to start a family with him when I get out of school. So yeah I want to be with him for a long time if it can work out. My thing is that he may not want to be with me forever that's more the issue for me.

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Be honest with him about what kind of marriage you want and see if he is up for it. It would be wrong to deceive him.

 

He knows like I said like him a lot and I can see myself sending my life with him if everything stays the same as it is now. I am not deceiving him there are many reasons why I want to marry him. Same for him. So I think it's mutual a good match.

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As long as you tell him the truth. If he deeply in love with you then you might need to reconsider as it's not fair to marry him if you're not feeling the same as he is.

 

Saying vows to someone is serious stuff, if you can picture yourself leaving him once you become a citizen then that's not fair to him at all.

 

Also many bi people can commit to one person, so unless you're thinking open marriage, better talk to him.

 

Yeah like I said we're very much alike and get along very well. I wouldn't leave him. I just like the benefits that come with becoming his wife. That's all.

 

We're very monogamous actually. I wouldn't be comfortable with sharing him not even with a guy I don't think. Cheating is cheating imo. And he's always been faithful when we get married it shouldn't be any different. I believe he was faithful with his exwife and they were married like 6 years.

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@Kai19, I urge you not to go forward with this marriage. And not even because of the 'bisexual' issue, which yes, is a big one... but because of the tone you're using when talking about this relationship.

 

Your tone is extremely unenthusiastic. You describe the relationship as 'alright.' You admit you're not in love with him.

 

You're just NOT on board with this relationship in the way you should be to consider a lifelong commitment. Don't take this lightly. This will have legal, financial, and emotional repercussions for a long time in your future.

 

If you do feel invested with this guy, there's nothing wrong with staying in the relationship and seeing how it grows (and hopefully improves) in the future. But right now, this is simply not marriage material. Trust me!

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@Kai19, I urge you not to go forward with this marriage. And not even because of the 'bisexual' issue, which yes, is a big one... but because of the tone you're using when talking about this relationship.

 

Your tone is extremely unenthusiastic. You describe the relationship as 'alright.' You admit you're not in love with him.

 

You're just NOT on board with this relationship in the way you should be to consider a lifelong commitment. Don't take this lightly. This will have legal, financial, and emotional repercussions for a long time in your future.

 

If you do feel invested with this guy, there's nothing wrong with staying in the relationship and seeing how it grows (and hopefully improves) in the future. But right now, this is simply not marriage material. Trust me!

 

What does unenthusiastic mean?

 

When I said alright I meant nothing bad was with our relationship. Like I said we're very similar in personality. I know I could grow to love him.

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What does unenthusiastic mean?

 

When I said alright I meant nothing bad was with our relationship. Like I said we're very similar in personality. I know I could grow to love him.

 

It means you don't feel excited and happy in the way you should when considering whether to marry someone.

 

Marriage is a big deal that comes with a range of conflicted emotions, but most of those should be positive feelings. And that's just not the attitude you're giving out in your posts. You seem like you're rushing into this and you're not even sure why you're rushing. You haven't given one good reason for why this marriage needs to happen.

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I know bisexual men and women in successful marriages to heterosexuals. So, yes, it's possible.

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It means you don't feel excited and happy in the way you should when considering whether to marry someone.

 

Marriage is a big deal that comes with a range of conflicted emotions, but most of those should be positive feelings. And that's just not the attitude you're giving out in your posts. You seem like you're rushing into this and you're not even sure why you're rushing. You haven't given one good reason for why this marriage needs to happen.

 

I am actually excited but there are problems with everything you do. Like a reason not to. I am excited to be his wife.

 

I am not rushing it. We're getting married in july. So we have time. I don't really have any conflicted feelings about it though. I just am concerned that maybe it won't last because he does like women. I also don't like his family. And vice verse. But I think with all that aside I could see us growing older together.

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BettyDraper
I am actually excited but there are problems with everything you do. Like a reason not to. I am excited to be his wife.

 

I am not rushing it. We're getting married in july. So we have time. I don't really have any conflicted feelings about it though. I just am concerned that maybe it won't last because he does like women. I also don't like his family. And vice verse. But I think with all that aside I could see us growing older together.

 

July is only 3.5 months away.

 

This sounds like a marriage of convenience.

 

I don't think this is a healthy situation at all.

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I too am struck by your lack of enthusiasm. Are you from a country where people don't necessarily marry for love?

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lucy_in_disguise

How did you end ip engaged after such a relatively short time? Have you been honest with him that you dont love him yet?

 

A lot of people marry for reasons other than love. Personally I dont think I am entitled to judge those reasons. Your reasons don't seem particularly bad, it is just strange that you would choose to settle for a relationship you have doubts about at such a young age.

 

If you think yiu can choose to love him, why not give it more time to get there before you sre married?

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