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We've been talking about getting married since before we got together. Am I nuts!?


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So my girlfriend and I have officially been together for a little over 3 months, we've been friends for the past 3 years. I'm 28, she is 32. We've always had that "something" but we were both in unfulfilling relationships during most of that time, the timing was always off. I kind of always knew she was the one and as weird as it sounds we've unofficially been planning our wedding for over a year now. I actually bought the ring a few days after our first date.

 

I've expressed my feeling to a few of our mutual friends and her parents and everybody seems to think it's a great idea, I'm just unsure if I should wait a proper amount of time or just go for it. I know what the answer will be. Anyway, what I'm getting at here is how long before you knew that your spouse would be the person you married? Do you wish you had waited longer? Ive never met someone so certain of what they want out if life.

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Some will tell you you're nuts, absolutely. But, that's basically the way it happened between me and my husband.

 

Just a gut feeling, from the moment we met, that it was going to be. I can't explain it. He moved in seven weeks after our first date, and we were married in another eight months (no, no pregnancy involved).

 

 

Sometimes, you just know. Good luck!

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I think you should be having this conversation with your gf.... No one here he going to be able to tell you her feelings and view towards it.

 

If I were you the only thing I'd want to make sure of.. Is that she wouldn't just be elated to marry you after 3 months because in the back of her mind she wanted to be married 2 years ago at 30 but wasn't dating anyone. So she's not really accepting the proposal and psyched about YOU as she is accepting and psyched about finally getting married.

 

You said you've never been with someone who knows exactly what they want. What does she want in terms of marriage? Kids? Where she wants to live? Do you know you both are compatible long term in those areas after only Dating 3 months?

 

Do you know what your sex life will be like after the honeymoon phase of dating wears off? What if this time next year you have had sex in 3 months because she's just been tired lately? What about living with her? What if you drive her crazy?

 

What's your rush to propose btw? If you waited until July, you might be able to know the answers to these things better and leave no doubt instead of risking it too fast too soon

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Q. We've been talking about getting married since before we got together. Am I nuts!?

 

 

A. Yes.

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You have a friendship foundation. Would I do this? Probably not but I'm rather conventional. You are not kids & presumably you know yourself. If you are going to take the plunge, go ahead but do have a long engagement so you have been through a whole year as a couple before you tie the knot.

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I honestly would wait. I once dated this girl and I just knew, almost instantly, that's she was the one I wanted to marry. Things didn't end up working out for other reasons, but I still think that if they did work out, I would have waited before proposing. Even though I 100% knew that I wanted to be with her and no one else. Because that's how I felt in the moment.

 

There is no rush and you never know what might happen down the line. Maybe in a month or two you realize you do not work that well together? That's why people wait, to see if they work as a couple after the honeymoon phase.

Edited by PieceTablo
typo
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  • 2 weeks later...
So my girlfriend and I have officially been together for a little over 3 months, we've been friends for the past 3 years. I'm 28, she is 32. We've always had that "something" but we were both in unfulfilling relationships during most of that time, the timing was always off. I kind of always knew she was the one and as weird as it sounds we've unofficially been planning our wedding for over a year now. I actually bought the ring a few days after our first date.

 

I've expressed my feeling to a few of our mutual friends and her parents and everybody seems to think it's a great idea, I'm just unsure if I should wait a proper amount of time or just go for it. I know what the answer will be. Anyway, what I'm getting at here is how long before you knew that your spouse would be the person you married? Do you wish you had waited longer? Ive never met someone so certain of what they want out if life.

 

I can't help but think - why the rush?

 

Unless one of you is about to be deployed or transferred, I don't see any down side to proceeding at a reasonable pace. Regardless of your friendship, an exclusive romantic relationship is new to you. Savor every moment, you only get the "new car smell" once in each relationship.

 

I'd go slowly...

 

Mr. Lucky

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