creighton0123 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Just venting here that my aunt and cousins won't be attending my wedding - and I feel as though it's because they don't take my relationship with my partner as seriously (we're both of the male variety). I attended their weddings. They attended both of my sister's weddings. I know it's not an anti-gay thing. I really do. They all love my partner and get along with him very well. They all voted for same-gender marriage equality when the time came around. Somehow, though, they got it in their minds that attending is "optional" and that a three hour drive with paid hotel rooms is too much of an inconvenience. We have friends and family coming from Europe, the west coast of the US, China, Taiwan, India, and Australia.... but a 3 hour drive is too much for them. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! When you are caught up in your wedding planning, it's hard to understand when other people don't care about it as much as you do. My favorite aunt didn't come to my wedding either because her BF didn't want to deal with our whole family. It broke my heart but I got over it. You will too. Celebrate with the people who do attend. When you have a chance after you get back from your HM make a date to see the aunt that did not attend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author creighton0123 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 Yeah. More about the fact that they rushed at the chance to attend my both of my siblings weddings, but turned down attending mine - even though I see and talk to them much more often and take strides to keep our relationship current and strong despite being 3 hours away from them. In my mind, there are just some things you don't say no to. And significant life events of immediate family that you love and cherish is one of those things. My partner's family are unhappy with the idea that he is gay - and even they are coming all the way from Australia to the eastern US with a smile on their faces because they know it is important to him and they still love him and don't want to miss important events in his life. I'll get over it and move on, but I can't pretend that this won't put a strain on my relationship with these relatives. Part of this is attributed to a bit of sadness at the idea of my family growing apart, when we used to do everything together. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I agree with you & can completely emphasize with everything you are feeling. Given how much more there is to celebrate, don't let this one disappointing aspect overshadow all the wonderful things about this chapter in your life Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I read the replies, and i still think they might have a problem with there being 2 grooms at this wedding. It's one thing to put a mark on a piece of paper, it's a different thing to face it in your own family. In that sense, her not taking your relationship seriously translates into 'i don't believe this gay thing is a anything but a choice' or 'i'm uncomfortable around 2 men getting married'. On a sidenote, congratulations on the impending marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author creighton0123 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Share Posted June 15, 2015 I read the replies, and i still think they might have a problem with there being 2 grooms at this wedding. It's one thing to put a mark on a piece of paper, it's a different thing to face it in your own family. In that sense, her not taking your relationship seriously translates into 'i don't believe this gay thing is a anything but a choice' or 'i'm uncomfortable around 2 men getting married'. On a sidenote, congratulations on the impending marriage. Heh. If one of my cousins wasn't gay and married her wife a few years ago, that might be true. They all showed up to that because it was a ten minute drive away. In my mind and my heart, I know it is them thinking it too much of an inconvenience for them. I feel sad for them now. Their worlds are so tiny. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Have you point blank asked them why they are refusing to attend your wedding? Link to post Share on other sites
Vercetti Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Thought you were getting married for you...less people show up the better.....can escape and do what you want. Unless blah blahing with a bunch of people won't see for a decade or never after the wedding is a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Your partner's family sounds very sweet. I'm sorry that he will not be getting the same impression from yours. Regardless of how they feel, they should support you as family. I hope they do come around. Link to post Share on other sites
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