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Planning a Wedding?


Getting Married Cold feet to pre-marital stressors--the place to discuss all the issues that come with saying "I do."

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Old 3rd December 2004, 3:56 PM   #1
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Planning a Wedding?

Okay, so I'm planning on proposing shortly after the new year. She's going to say yes because she told me she would. It went like this, "If you asked me to marry you tomorrow, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat." This conversation has taken place several times. I've actually had to play it cool to make sure that the proposal is at least "sort of" a surprise. Anyway, for you guys out there that have actually gone ahead and "assisted in" or planned a wedding, how is my life going to change in the next year? Is it going to totally suck or what? I'm all for getting married, it's just the wedding I'm not so psyched for. I walk by Bridal magazines at the book store and cringe at the brainwashing I can only imagine happens in those things. What exactly needs to be planned? How much time does this take? Is my whole life for the next year going to be consumed by "wedding" planning? I'm getting dizzy.
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Old 3rd December 2004, 4:04 PM   #2
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Um, take my advice and run away to wed.

I'm doing it in 9 days. Talk about loooow stress.

The first one was huge. I think I'd rather not marry than to go through that again, and I'm not even close to kidding.
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Old 3rd December 2004, 4:17 PM   #3
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While we had more of a traditional wedding, we did have some stressfull periods - but the end result was so worth it. We had a great day and it was everything we dreamed it would be.
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Old 3rd December 2004, 5:07 PM   #4
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There were certain things my husband wanted to have at the wedding. Everything else he could care less about. We spent a little over a year planning it and it was completely consuming for me and my maid of honor. He just lived life as if it were normal. I think if I had tried to take on fewer responsibilities, it wouldn't have been so time consuming, but my MOH and I made all the invitations, pew decorations, and programs. I also made and designed my wedding dress, made another dress for the reception, had yet another dress get made in Hong Kong for the reception, and made all the favors in addition to the regular stuff. The things he wanted? He wanted me to wear a veil. He wanted a videographer. He wanted a specific song for the first dance. And he wanted to get married in a church.
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Old 3rd December 2004, 5:17 PM   #5
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Some women become "BRIDEZILLA" when planning a wedding - they get so consumed with the wedding that they don't attend to their relationship. I've seen it happen several times.

I had a wedding planner and it helped a lot. She basically gave me short lists of places to visit and food/cakes to try, and I just picked from her lists. Everything went beautifully (except the marriage itself, ).
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Old 5th December 2004, 1:17 AM   #6
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My fiance and I are eloping

He is an orphan, we live far away from my family, and we've both been married before. So this wedding will be us, and close friends. We're planning to get married in Hong Kong. (Bali is our backup plan.)

I had the big wedding before; it was nice, but when you get down to it, it's just one day -- and $50,000 seems a bit much to shuck out for one day. And at my big wedding, I couldn't just relax and enjoy it. It seemed like there was always something "I had to do." This time it is just what my fiance and I want to do.

Having said that, our hotel in Hong Kong will cost about $700 a night, but WHAT A NIGHT!
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Old 5th December 2004, 10:26 PM   #7
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We are going over to Fiji to marry in April, with 20 close family and friends. Less stress than a normal wedding, but still lots to plan, with organising guests bookings, reception, organising what you need to the resort to do, and emailing back and forward a lot!

I am also making placecards and gifts to take over with us.

I am enjoying the planning a lot. My fiance has had some input, but basically his life has been going on as usual.

It depends on your fiance, and her approach to the wedding, and the sort of wedding you decide to have.
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Old 6th December 2004, 1:27 AM   #8
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Funny, I have heard how stressful it is on the wedding day, but all I can remember of mine was how much fun I had and how much I'd do it again if I could. My hairdresser didn't even show up and we ended up finding someone else just 2 hours before I was supposed to be at the church, but I didn't care. I think at that point, I felt like I had done everything I could to plan the day and if something went wrong, we'd figure out a way to work around it. For me, the most important thing was having my friends and family there to celebrate with me.
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Old 6th December 2004, 9:16 PM   #9
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Yep, your fiance, friends and family are the key elements which make the day special!
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Old 15th December 2004, 9:24 AM   #10
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Just remember to have fun with it, and don't let the little details cause fights. If you feel an argument ready to start, then just sit back and say nothing and let her do it her own way. It is very stressful but when the day comes, all that stress is worth it a 1000 times over. It just all comes together. Use this planning of the wedding to become closer to her, not as something viewed as stressful and argrumentative. And be prepared for her to change her mind about 20 times about everything.

I let my wife do most of the planning. The only thing we had a problem over was the song she wanted to walk down to. At first we were arguing pretty bad, but then she started to compromise. The song she wanted 'Waiting for tonight' by Jennifer Lopez was not my idea of something romantic. She's not the romantic type, she wanted something that was uplifting. So after alot of debating we decided on 'A new day' by Celine Dion.

Let her make most of the arrangements, alot of women wait eagerly for something like this. Make sure you have what's important to you in the wedding without stealing her thunder from underneath her.
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Old 23rd December 2004, 2:31 AM   #11
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Not a guy but gonna help!

I am obviously not a guy but I wanna put my input in here for the gals! I am going through bridal consultanting school so I have some advice to!

First of all, as a girl and loving wedding. Don't assume that you will not do anything. ASK you finace what you can do to help her. But if she is like most girls she will try to do it all herself and not ask for help from you because most of us girls think guys know nothing about weddings and they only thing we ask you to do is going shopping for the register with us. But ask her what you can do to help her because she will be stressed! She will need help and she will probadly have less time for you and that is something you don't want!

If she asks you to her with something, do it! Don't put it off or she will get agrue and you will fight!

Hire a bridal consultant for your needs. Something you only need them to the ceremony and something they will help with everything from the engagment announcements to the big day! Don't let your bride do everything!

And lastly make it fun for her. Go with her places. Have fun and remember the big day is worth everything!
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Old 23rd December 2004, 7:38 AM   #12
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Have a quick short small wedding soon - eloping is the ticket. Worry about having a big ceremony with all the fluff and stuff for your family later. I'm saying this because I planned a big fluffy wedding twice in my life and both times the girl backed out right before the wedding. Cost me a lot of time, money, and heartache. So my suggestion is seal the deal first, plan the pagentry later.
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