Jump to content

Cheated in my house..On my bed...to my Cd...I walked in!


JessicaAlmond

Recommended Posts

JessicaAlmond

I caught him. I cannot believe it. We just bought our house.

 

I suspected he was cheating because he would get home really tired and just roll over and fall alseep. He stopped initiating sex and always had to "work late". We had a couple issues with the fact that I wanted to experiment with girls but I changed my mind and we got over those issues. And I would see him walk in from work late, hair tousled, lips swollen and dammit I knew it.

I got my period early at work and didn't have a tampon and it was easier for me to drive home and get one than to go to the store and buy some.

So I leave work at lunch and drive home which I would never do but it was an emergency. I drive up and see two cars in the driveway and right then and there I knew it and I didn't know what to do. Walk in and catch them? Make a scene? Hit her car? Drive away and never come back?

Tears started flowing from my eyes and I just sat there staring at my house as everything we had together, all our memories, all our plans, just crumbled into pieces right then at that moment.

I got it together and told myself I had to handle this like a woman. I slowly walked in the house and the radio was full blast. It was our love CD that we used to make love. I cringed and broke down again. I knelt at the doorway in a semi fetal position and just tried to control the piercing pain in my stomach. I could hear them. I could hear her moaning. They were on MY bed. OUR bed. In OUR house. Listening to OUR cd. I again stood up slowly and walked into the guest bathroom. I had tampons in there. I came out and walked into the living room. The sight killed me. Her clothes were all over the house. Just thrown about as if she just ripped them off on the way to the bedroom. I sat down in the kitchen and tried to figure out what to do. I was getting angry now. Very angry. I wanted to just grab a bat and go in there swinging. I was balling uncontrollably and every moan I heard was another stab in the stomach. So I made coffee.

Yes I stood in the kitchen eye-liner running down my face, shirt soaked from tears, a real mess of a woman and made coffee.

I wiped my tears and decided I would not make a scene, but I would just leave a little note and walk of my house and his life forever.

I made a cup for me and then, I took a bounty paper towel and wrote on it:

 

Came home for lunch, I wanted to say hello but you had company. Please pick up the mess in the living room and then remove all your SH*T and yourself from my house and my life and please leave your copy of the key under the mat when you leave.

Much love,

Jessica

 

I need to write the rest but I have to come to lunch..god there's so much more....I'll be back

Link to post
Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay

OMG...did this just happen today?.....oh man, what a horrible thing....I cant imagine what I would do...

 

we are here for you

Link to post
Share on other sites
:( Oh you poor thing. I applaud the way you stayed collected. I'm so glad you found out now, but I know it's not a huge consolation. Please stay strong and don't go back, I'm sure he'll be contacting you soon. I am sorry for the God-awful pain that you are experiencing, my thoughts are with you.
Link to post
Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia

Man!

 

I had a situation happen almost exactly like that once. It sucks. Its one thing to think it, quite another to actually see it. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG!!! Take the day off you just had some major shi* happen to you. I can't believe you stayed so calm, I would have went in there with a knife and cut his balls off!!! YOur a strong lady just for staying so calm I am sure you will get thru this.

Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG WTF!! Did this happen today?

 

I could actually picture it happening the way you wrote it. I felt like I was there and it was happening to me..AHHH I would have stormed in there and well lets just say her clothes would have been on the driveway and street and not all over my living room floor.

 

Updates Please!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you aware of who this woman is at all? She is just as guilty obviously it is apparent that a woman lives in your home.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
JessicaAlmond

I left the note and walked out of the house and took the rest of the day off and I drove to my mothers job and just cried in her arms.

She came with me to my car and we sat in the car me telling her the story and her just listening. There's just something so calming about my mothers voice she has this way of making me feel that no matter what everything was going to be OK.

 

That was at 12:30am and I guess he must have finished with her at 1:30 because that's when my cell phone started ringing non-stop with calls from him. He was just flooding my cell phone and once I heard his ringer I couldn't breathe. I felt as if I was dying and my poor mother. I soaked all her clothes with my tears and she told me not to pick up the Phone not yet.

 

I went to my voice mail and I had messages of him crying to me, saying I'm sorry, to please pick up and talk to him, please call him back. OMG I just wanted to run him over with my car and I can feel all those feelings rising up in me right now as I write this. I left my mothers and went to my special spot. It's a very nice spot by a lake near my home. I sat there and cried and cried and cried. I remember thinking what now, what do I do now, I will be all alone right now. We just bought a house, we were planning on getting me pregnant. I was going to start my family. And while I was thinking these things all I could hear in the background was the echo of her moans. It sent chills up my spine picturing him touching her, making love to her, making her moan. OMG.

 

I could hear my cell phone ringing in the distance and I cringed. I'm not good with confrontations or "situations" I just run away from them. But I knew I had to talk to him and I knew I had to go back to the scene of the crime. It was my house it was my bed.

 

I stayed crying at that lake from 3:00 till 8:00 PM. I finally dragged my body into the car and drove home. Slowly and wanting to turn around many times. I was praying he wasn't there when I got home because I didn't think I could handle it. I pulled up and his car wasn't in the driveway. I'm in the clear I thought.

 

I look under the mat and the key was there. I walk into the house and the note was on the floor. I went to the kitchen and just sat there. There was no way I was sleeping here tonight. That's when I broke down again. I just fell and hit the floor and let the cold tile hit my face and I laid on the tile of the kitchen floor and just cried and sobbed and just laid there. I got angry and screamed out WHY at the top of my lungs. I got up and went insane. I started throwing things, breaking things, I saw our pictures in the frames and I threw them too. I was screaming and I didn't care, I looked like a lunatic. I don't think I had ever been so low in my life.

I broke everything I could get my hands on and just closed my eyes and screamed in pain. Then I felt two strong arms embrace me. . .

 

It was him. He was trying to control me. I stopped dead in my tracks and just felt the warmth from his body. His voice all he could say through tears was I LOVE YOU...I'm sorry please forgive me.

I turned around slowly in his arms and said GET..OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!

I could smell the beer on his breath. He was trashed. He wobbled to me and I slapped him across the face and told him how dare he do that in my home. ON my bed. How dare he have the balls to come back into the house and touch me with those filthy hands. How dare he let I love you come out of his mouth as if he meant it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

omg that is horrible....see everything happens for a reason... damn id be happy i gotten my period early to go home and find out the truth....

 

that sucks so bad i feel so sorry for you... but i wouldve knocked on that door...or torn it down started screaming and told him to get the f*** out now and take all of their sh*t and threw it outside....for him to be caught would of made him feel more like sh*t---and she wouldve left him too if she didnt know about you...we'll she's a whore anyway who cares lol... but i had the same feeling the other night... my man wasnt answering his phone all night and i figured soemthing was goin on at his house...so i went to his apartment and saw his car there w/ all the lights off...i sat in my car thinking what do i do when i unlock that door and see him w/ another girl? i was planning out how i would react lol..thats crazy..but luckily he was asleep in his room alone...but you shouldve threw the coffee pot at them and burned their a**es! lol they deserve it... but goo dluck on what happens keep us updated about what happend after u left the note

Link to post
Share on other sites
ICantStopLovinHim

Oh my I don't even know where to start.. you are a very strong woman and although completely off the topic you are an amazing writer.......reading what you wrote becomes so real it brought real tears to my eyes to think of a woman going through such pain....I too walked in on my new husband see i wasn't as lucky as you to not have gotten married first, but anyway i came home from work sick and i was 8 months pregnant with our son and I caught him in the bed with another woman.....I didnt react quite as well as you did i actually tried to choke him pregnant and all.......Anyway many years later and lovingly divorced I am ok as i am sure you will be.....please keep us posted i would love to read your posts just because you are so good at what you write. :o) Hang in there and remember you will always have us :o)_

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dammed girl, your a good writer... Like EC said reading your post I too felt like I was there....

 

Anyways, I hope that you don't take him back, you deserve better. DON"T FORGET THAT and I am glad you took of work, why don't you take a short vacation.

Link to post
Share on other sites
HokeyReligions

He is only sorry that he got caught -- remember that to help keep your strength. Get his stuff out of the house and get your finances in order.

 

I'm sorry that you are in pain, but know that it won't last forever. You will reach a point where you are looking back at the pain, and not drowning in it or looking ahead to more pain. There is a way across this quagmire of hurt and sadness and there is firm ground ahead.

 

Cry when you need to, then stop and keep moving forward.

Link to post
Share on other sites

What an incredibly stupid man. I admire the way you handled it as well, because I would have straight up made a scene. You have to know the whore knew he was married, after all, their pictures, their house, there were signs of another woman. I would have taken a couple of pictures for my lawyer and the in laws, thrown a nice cold pitcher of water on them to cool off, and probably spray painted the whores car with "whore" or "transsexual" before any of the above, and my husbands car with "little dick".

 

God bless you for dealing with this the way you are. This man isn't capable of having a good woman like you and I feel for you. I'd be so devestated :(

 

Thank god for your mother, mothers work wonders.

 

Keep us updated on what's going on.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, I feel for you.

I must say, you showed real class in how you dealt with it.

I don't think I would have been responded the same way !!

 

Above all else, remember - you are strong. You will get through this. You will learn to love and trust again.

Your husband will always remember that he destroyed both his and your life. He will have to live with regret and guilt.

 

I feel for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Your post brings tears to my eyes. I can't stand the thought of this, and I (again) am so sorry for your pain.

 

Please continue to be strong! We are here for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
JessicaAlmond

Ugh I want to finish the story but my boss keeps interrupting. He's a guy he doesn't understand. I'm sorry but I hate the male species right now. Thank you for listening I'm losing my mind right now. Writing it out is keeping me sane. So where did I leave off...

 

So He tried to control me which enraged me. I looked into his eyes and I don't understand how you could feel pure hatred for a person and love them with all your heart at the same time.

But then I heard the moan in the distance and immediately the hate overtook the love and As I looked upon his drunken a** I asked myself "Who is this man?"

"Who is this person I thought I knew so well"

 

He came at me again slurring some gibberish I couldn't understand. I was furious. GET OUT NOW! I started pushing him out the door. He was fighting back trying to stay inside.

"We need to talk. I Love you. Please don't leave me.." And he held on to my waste and sobbed into my skirt. I was helpless. I couldn't move.

"Please he said, please."

I picked him up and brought his face to mine. I felt his cheek with mine and he put his arms around me. I whispered in his ear. You cheated on me, in our home. You made love to another woman in our home. You thought you wouldn't get caught but you did. He started to pull away but I held him right there and continued to talk into his ear.

I wanted you to be the father of my baby I see now that was a huge mistake. You are scum, you are drunk, and you need to leave my house right now before I call the cops on you. Go please.

 

He then became furious with me and started calling a b*tch and every name in the book and I just stood there at the doorway and cried as he stumbled down the driveway. He threw up all over himself and thats when I noticed his friend waiting in the car. I told hi friend to get him out of there now! Before I called the police. His friend just looked at me and said I'm sorry. And I said no I'm sorry.

He drove away with him and I just cried and cried and cried.

So many emotions running through my head.

I went inside, and came to the conclusion I would just pack some stuff and stay at my mothers and go to work from there and deal with everything later. I slowly stepped towards the room and came to the door.

I walked in and the room smelled like sex. I could smell her. I cried again. The bed was a mess, the covers on the floor. A broken condom wrapper on the floor. I lost it.

I ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. I felt sick to my stomach literally and it was to much for me to handle. I couldn't take it. I laid on the tile of the bathroom floor for a while and just cried then climbed into the bathtub clothes and all and started to fill the tub. I just cried and cried and cried. My mind started to wonder finally who was she? When? Why? How? How long?

Again I heard my cell phone in the distance. I didn't want to move. I lay in the tub lifeless. My eyes red and swollen from crying already. My throat on fire from screaming. I want to just drown. Just go under water and not come back up. But I couldn't.

I finally took my clothes off and bathed. I picked my clothes from the closet. I packed a small bag. I took the sheets off the bed and put them to wash. Then got mad and took them out of the washer and through them in the trash. I would buy new sheets.

I took the cd out of the CD player and trashed it. I took the condom wrapper and trashed it. Then sat on the side of the bare mattress and cried again.

Why me. How could this be happening to me? I never knew how much I truly loved him until that moment. And what good would it do me know to know how much? He was out of my life. I vowed I would never allow a cheater or beater a second chance and I was sticking to my word. I went out to the living room and kitchen and picked up the mess I made slowly. I picked up the frames and cried again.

I sat in the middle of the living room floor and cried. Then I wondered what she was doing right now? If she loved my bf? What she looked like? I know she was small..I saw her clothes..definitely smaller than I was. Then I became depressed and hated myself and I cried again. My cell phone would not stop ringing and I just wanted to get in my car and just drive.

I finished up..grabbed my bag, jumped in the car and drove off.

I drove and drove and drove. I rolled all the windows down and just cried. I didn't care who saw me. I let the wind hit my face hard.

I made it to my mothers and she walked out to meet me. She held me and handed me a cup of tea. I walked inside and she had a bed ready for me. She somehow knew I would be coming over. She said he had just left her house drunk and she kicked him out. I cried in her arms again and then crawled into bed. She crawled in with me and Just held me as I finally fell asleep. My cell phone ringing in the distance somewhere, my mind a screen replaying the days events over and over and then adding things I should've done or things I should've said, and her moaning echoes in my ears.

Today I woke up and my eyes were swollen shut. My mother made me coffee and I cried again as I dressed myself. I drove to work and walked to my desk. My boss made the dumb remark

"You look like ****...had an all nighter with the bf again huh?"

"Yeah sure" I replied and then started crying.

My boss confused as hell started asking all the questions and I told him what happened. He vowed to kick my bf's a**. I said that wasn't necessary.

Then my bf showed up and my boss would not let him inside. And he said just tell her to meet me at the special spot tonight at 6:00PM.

 

So it's three something now. And I'm debating going to the spot. I still can't believe this has happened to me. I am angry, hurt, sad, confused, tired and I just don't know what to do. I want answers but don't want to hear them. I'm depressed and life as I knew it has just completely flipped on me and I am spinning. Just spinning. I am lost and weak and feel destroyed. I don't know what to do.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It is your life and a choice that only you can make whether or not you meet him.

I find that when I'm faced with a rough decision, I make a list of pros and cons.

And then I find when I'm done, I know what I want to do.

I admit to being biased about what I think you should do, but instead of telling you, I'm going to give you some questions you need to ask yourself.

 

Is there any possible reason/excuse he can give to make you feel better about it?

Would you take him back after this?

Would you be able to trust him again?

Would it make a difference if you knew why he cheated?

Do you want to know who she is and when it started?

Do you think that he deserves to be heard?

 

If you know that you NEED answers, an alternative is to enlist a friend or family member to meet him to get the answers. That is his only option to be heard. That way you can get the answers you want, delivered by someone you trust who can give you support afterwards, and you don't have to face him and the fact that you might just break down and take him back because you love him.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by JessicaAlmond

I'm debating going to the spot.

.

.

.

I don't know what to do.

 

Don't do it. Don't even think about it. He loved you enough to f*ck another woman in your bed, he deserves NOTHING.

 

Don't give him a chance. Don't give him your time. He's a worthless piece of sh*t. Don't even consider giving him the time of day.

 

Wipe away your tears and let today be the first day of your new life without this poor excuse of a man.

 

There are men out there that WILL NOT do this to you. Get to steppin', you're one day closer to finding him.

Link to post
Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama

I dont think that anything good can become of you going to that spot tonight, hon. You saw and heard for yourself what happened. There is nothing he can do or say to erase it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Nope.. Don't go. He is sorry he got caught. You are in alot of pain right now and the last thing you need is more head games from him. You are going to go through just about the same thing as a spouse dying. There are 5 stages of grief:

 

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

 

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

 

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

 

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

 

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.

 

Even though this is mainly for someone who's dead, in all sense your bf is. Not physically but emotionally and in every other way. You will experience all of these, and maybe not in order. You can also experience more than one of these emotions at one time.

 

You clearly still can't think straight and still in shock. He will say what you want to hear, to try to lessen the punishment he is receiving. Don't fall for it. Stay strong, instead of going to that 'spot' goto your moms. Talk to her, sounds like she'll give you good advice. Also, turn off your cell phone, having it to hear it ring all the time will not let you clear your head.

 

Also, please look into talking with a counselor. This sounds pretty traumic for you. We are here for you as well, write as much as you want and feel comfortable with. You are not alone, many others have experienced hurt like you have right now. Nothing you did or have done caused this to happen. He didn't do this to punish you, he did this because he is selfish, uncaring and stupid. You are a good person, and there are plenty of men who would love to be with you. Keep those thoughts with you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you're still too emotional to deal with talking to him tonight. This is a very hard thing to come to terms with and seeing him at such a vulnerable point may not be the best decision for you. You need to be able to come to terms with what has happened without dealing with the drama that stems from his presence. I'd suggest taking a few days with no contact to get yourself a little more situated. If you really want to stay strong and not give in, then in my opinion you should wait a few days. I think you should have a talk to sort things out so you can have closure, but right now I think you need to focus on yourself and meeting him will make it difficult to do that.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd be scared to meet him in a special place anyway, unless it's busy. That way he can't make a scene if he goes there drunk or something.

 

Me, i'd need answers right away to help me move on. Why get yourself composed, and then get answers a week later and end up right back to where you were.

 

THe idea of sending a family member or friend is a great one if you really needed to know.

Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG I feel your pain.

 

Jmargel excellent advice. Everyone else too!

 

I agree..don't go today by yourself. You are weak, you are confused, and he will use that to his advantage.

 

I also agree that the idea of sending a family member is a great idea if you really want to know and that way you won't have to deal with facing him.

 

I'm so sorry. Write all you want. I love the way you write I just wish you didn't have this to write about.

 

Keep us updated. And remember it is not your fault, you didn't do anything to deserve this, he is scum as you said. And though it may feel like the end of the world, sweetheart, life goes on and you will trust and love again. Go to your mother tonight right after work. Thats the best thing for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...