sunshinesunshine Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 A lot of people nowdays do and do not get married or engaged. But me, I have always wanted to get married. But I've also thought about the type of engagement and or wedding ring I have in mind. I'm not like most girls who are crazy over diamonds or carrot count etc. If I got a ring I would want it's shape to be more important than it just being a a ring with a jewel in it. I've always wanted either a heart shaped ring or a rose shaped ring etc. Something different than the typical ring that's given or available. Do you think me thinking about the ring I have in mind is a good idea or a bad idea? Like when it comes down to telling the guy about this step I want this ring and this and that type of thing. What would you do? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have four daughters. I've told them all to spend much more time thinking about the marriage than the wedding. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 When I was young and in love and about to embark on the journey that is marriage for the first time, I had everything picked out long before I met the right guy. Isn't that what young girls do with all their free time? I think that's pretty normal for most women and even more normal for first-time marriages. Once you've been-there-and-done-that you quickly realize that those things don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. They're just things. And more often then not it's more about showing off then anything else. I've often wondered if I could go back and warn my younger naive self that the big wedding, expensive dress, huge diamond and all the other bells and whistle that went into getting married aren't what's important, I'd probably kick my older self in the teeth and tell her to "Get out of my way, biatch!" Live and learn I guess. Live and learn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillmind Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I told my then boyfriend which ring I wanted, it was kind of a strange ring (and MUCH cheaper than a diamond ring!!!!) If you want a certain type of ring that fits your budget, say so. Ultimately rings aren't worth a fart in a high wind in the grand scheme of your marriage so you might as well have one you like. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You want what you want & you have to wear this every day. Before you chose the cuts you have described do some research about gem stones. Those cuts actually detract from the value. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I see it as his gift to me so...I would be happy with whatever he chose to give me because I would like the presentation of it to be a surprise at the moment of asking(rather than shopping for a ring later). Am older friend who has been married and divorced three times told me I should look at cuts and decide on which one I would prefer. I don't care about all this stuff. Am not bothered about how big, how expensive, how valuable etc. its not coming with me when I die... Heart cuts are pretty but to be honest (don't laugh at me!), I had no idea diamonds were cut in different ways Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have never cared about details or accessories. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 A lot of people nowdays do and do not get married or engaged. But me, I have always wanted to get married. But I've also thought about the type of engagement and or wedding ring I have in mind. I'm not like most girls who are crazy over diamonds or carrot count etc. If I got a ring I would want it's shape to be more important than it just being a a ring with a jewel in it. I've always wanted either a heart shaped ring or a rose shaped ring etc. Something different than the typical ring that's given or available. Do you think me thinking about the ring I have in mind is a good idea or a bad idea? Like when it comes down to telling the guy about this step I want this ring and this and that type of thing. What would you do? I like carrots. JK. When I was married I ended up only wearing the band unless we were going out. The engagement ring stayed in the safe 95% of the time. Whatever is affordable is fine but I would never wear over 3 carats. It's too much imo. I agree with other posters, it's the marriage, who you marry and standing the time/challenge tests that are most important. I would not mention it to any man unless we were going to do it for sure. Even then, I have never and wouldn't say anything unless he asked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Now if only the rest of America would agree with the rest of you...I would give you all a standing ovation. Because unfortunately, many potential grooms are judged by the ring they propose with and not the intention. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Sunshine, When my husband proposed, he presented me with a ring that he personally designed and found a jeweler to create. It has a very small stone and is in the shape of a flower that is significant to him. I was amazed that he had put so much thought and care into my ring. It was such a genuine expression of his personal being. But, I'll be honest, it was not the ring I was expecting because it wasn't a traditional diamond. So much better, though. So, let me offer this advice. First, focus on the marriage. Choosing a life's partner is a huge commitment and its so very critical not to get caught up in the ring, the dress or the day. The marriage is what it's all about. When you've chosen your partner and he's chosen you, you will naturally have conversations about getting married, weddings, etc. It's a fun part of the courtship process. At that time, you can express your desire for something unique and describe what would be appealing. But then, let it go. Let him choose for you what he would like to offer you as a gift to seal your future together. If you try and direct that process, you may end up with the beautiful ring of your dreams but a spouse who wasn't able to provide you with the gift he wanted. That may sting for him for a long time and the ring, which will be a symbol of perfection for you, will be a symbol of failure for him. I am so glad that my husband created this ring. It is so unique. There is not another living soul who has a ring like this (and the jeweler made us wedding bands to match). However, I can honestly say I would never have come up with this on my own. It's truly amazing and I'm so glad I allowed him to choose what he wanted to give me. Good luck. GG 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have four daughters. I've told them all to spend much more time thinking about the marriage than the wedding. Yeah! I'm focused on finding the right guy. The ring isn't even a consideration. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillmind Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I like carrots. JK. When I was married I ended up only wearing the band unless we were going out. The engagement ring stayed in the safe 95% of the time. Whatever is affordable is fine but I would never wear over 3 carats. It's too much imo. I agree with other posters, it's the marriage, who you marry and standing the time/challenge tests that are most important. I would not mention it to any man unless we were going to do it for sure. Even then, I have never and wouldn't say anything unless he asked. This is part of why I didn't want a diamond ring -- too risky to wear, too heartbreaking to lose! My then-boyfriend was also concerned about buying a ring because he thought I would have my heart set on an expensive diamond ring and be devastated at not getting it. When I showed him what I wanted (about ~$350), he was surprised and relieved. And I'm proud to wear it with the knowledge that it can be replaced if it goes down a drain or into the ocean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Agree stillmind. Life doesn't get in the way, the ring does. Vive'. Now mine sits in eternal silence. The memories and fun are always with me. Build the Love, wear a band. Link to post Share on other sites
81West Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 When I was young and in love and about to embark on the journey that is marriage for the first time, I had everything picked out long before I met the right guy. Isn't that what young girls do with all their free time? I think that's pretty normal for most women and even more normal for first-time marriages. Once you've been-there-and-done-that you quickly realize that those things don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. They're just things. And more often then not it's more about showing off then anything else. I've often wondered if I could go back and warn my younger naive self that the big wedding, expensive dress, huge diamond and all the other bells and whistle that went into getting married aren't what's important, I'd probably kick my older self in the teeth and tell her to "Get out of my way, biatch!" Live and learn I guess. Live and learn. I have always felt like a bit of an oddball because I never spent 30 seconds as a girl or woman dreaming of marriage or a wedding or a wedding dress or any of that stuff that is as you say SO normal. I was just busy thinking of other stuff. Barbies or tadpoles or music or cool stereo systems or whatever. Just literally never crossed my mind to think about getting married. And it's weird, because I'm typically feminine in most ways and I love love, and I love romance and I love the idea of those things rolled into a great partnership sealed with the commitment of marriage. So why it never occurred to me to actually think of a wedding or marriage I can't say. In some states you can solemnize your own vows. I'm a Canuck but THAT is my dream wedding. Just me and him and nobody else, up a tree or a mountain or something. LOL. But I would like a beautiful ring up my wedding tree. I'm clearly too confusing to marry! Ha ha! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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