Jump to content

A modern British marriage proposal


Recommended Posts

Purely for entertainment purposes, here's a Tickler for a Tuesday night :laugh:

 

An old colleague came to see me two weeks ago. He bought a vegetarian pizza because he can't eat meat that is not halal...and vodka (which ironically he LOVES). He lost his right to work a while ago and the student visa he was on was eventually revoked/cancelled(I am not sure) because the "college" had its licence suspended...so basically, he is working one of those under the table jobs. Cash in hand, hiding out...because he has five months to quit the country.

 

After discussing old work issues, looking at pics of holidays and colleagues and moving house etc etc. came..."S. I need your help...I need you to help me to try and sort out my visa. Can you do that? Will you marry me?"

 

Well...I wanted to burst out laughing, my flatmate was due home in fifteen mins. My phone was on the other side of the room and I kept a straight face as I refused and said I don't do things like that. If the visa is the issue it's better to leave the country and return by reapplying from home. So then came

"You want me to go home? Can't you help me? If we get married then I can go home and sort out the visa and come back..."

 

Hello...what the hell...:mad:(still wanting to laugh at the absurdity of the situation). I grabbed my phone and tapped out several messages whilst trying to keep a straight face...and also tried to refuse again, without laughing...

 

The he had a sad face and kept saying "please. Help me. You are British. You know me. I am shy with girls, you're a decent girl etc."

I told him if he wants a wife, he needs to start dating, being more social and trying to put himself out there. He drinks vodka FFS! That ain't SHY!!! :confused:

 

(Sad face still present...) "Why won't you help me? Do you want me to go back home?"

So, in the spirit of wanting to bring this nonsense to an end I simply said that it's not right. They will know the whole thing is a scam. We will BOTH get into trouble. You have a better chance of getting back in if you follow protocol, do as they say, go home and do things legitimately by reapplying to come back.

 

Failing that, I told him to go and find a cheap nasty woman that will do any desperate thing he wants...cos it ain't me.

 

...And that was rather stupid of him. I have his phone number. I know where he lives. I know his other relatives...if he continues to bug me I have no problem reporting him to the proper authorities. Or blackmailing him :p

 

Said guy also once paid a friend of his £5,000 out of £9,000 for him to find a bride to marry him. Of course the guy took the money and ran(was also expelled from the country after losing a right to work lol...)

 

It made me laugh and at the same time it p'd me off...

No love. No thought of the consequences for the future. Just selfish 'me me me and what I want'...not currently the makings of an amazing husband anyway, regardless of visa limitations...

 

Still, I eventually had a good laugh with my flatmates and workmates about it(!)

How NOT to get married...lol

 

Anyone else got any tales to share of dodgy marriage proposals? :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

Similar thing happened to my brother when he was 19, some Iranian family tried paying him to marry their daughter who was still in Iran. He said no, unless he somehow met her first and fell in love. It didn't happen.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...