Most women want to get married

[swamp1984]

It seems like the majority of women want to get married even if they are not aware of it on a conscious level yet.

 

Even if a woman says she doesn't want to marry there's a chance that when she meets a guy and falls in love with him and if her feelings continue to grow for him then one day she may have an epiphany and discover that yes she wants marriage after-all. If the guy is not on the same page and still wants a part time relationship then she will either take steps to distance herself from that man or walk away completely.

[todreaminblue]

It seems like the majority of women want to get married even if they are not aware of it on a conscious level yet.

 

Even if a woman says she doesn't want to marry there's a chance that when she meets a guy and falls in love with him and if her feelings continue to grow for him then one day she may have an epiphany and discover that yes she wants marriage after-all. If the guy is not on the same page and still wants a part time relationship then she will either take steps to distance herself from that man or walk away completely.

 

 

truth...plus ten, some women however are happy to avoid any thoughts of marriage, and prefer to fight it , those women can be bought down by persistence and the love of a guy who truly cares, then, they become totally loyal due to respect for effort and patience.. they choose to ignore the unconscious longing for the mean time and channel it elsewhere, they however fight the loneliness at the end of the day and becomes a familiar talker, they talk to familiars who understand them and they love them until that special guy shows up who has a warmer fuzzy coat on that is built to cover them with and not just pat with love.the stuff of dreams dont often include an animal when it comes to marriage.......i guess they wait to share the dream with the right guy for them, their dream guy who happens to appreciate animals

[firmness]

I agree. I am pro-relationship, pro-commitment, and pro-family, but I am staunchly anti-marriage. Mainly because of the way I have seen it used to abuse men over the past few decades. We also have virtually no safe space within which to have an open dialogue about this - so it tends to be arrow slinging on both sides in public forums.

 

That being said, I would imagine that if I were a woman I too would want to get married. It is like the easiest insurance policy going. I can find love, get married have children, and then do whatever my feelings tell me. If my husband does not like this, that is too bad because the law is strongly in favor of women in divorce court.

 

Knowing this would be comforting to me. And I would make sure he knew that I had this power. Any slips and BANG - divorce. I have heard women threaten this my whole life, but I never got it until I got a divorce.

 

This is not to say that women are bad, or that they are all the same, or that men are losers, or anything like that. Modern life is all about incentives - our entire country is built upon incentives. And if you had a contract that you could reasonably get another person to sign that would essentially guarantee you 20-ish years of economic survival regardless of your behavior, I would call that a pretty strong incentive.

 

As women catch up with men financially, this will start to turn as the laws also catch up. But until then, marriage is a horrible idea on several levels. Why any man would sign that contract nowadays just boggles the mind.

[iris219]

It seems like the majority of women want to get married even if they are not aware of it on a conscious level yet.

 

Most men want to get married eventually too.

 

If the guy is not on the same page and still wants a part time relationship then she will either take steps to distance herself from that man or walk away completely.

 

Well, I would hope so. This would be the only reasonable thing to do.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I agree. I am pro-relationship, pro-commitment, and pro-family, but I am staunchly anti-marriage. Mainly because of the way I have seen it used to abuse men over the past few decades. We also have virtually no safe space within which to have an open dialogue about this - so it tends to be arrow slinging on both sides in public forums.

 

That being said, I would imagine that if I were a woman I too would want to get married. It is like the easiest insurance policy going. I can find love, get married have children, and then do whatever my feelings tell me. If my husband does not like this, that is too bad because the law is strongly in favor of women in divorce court.

 

Knowing this would be comforting to me. And I would make sure he knew that I had this power. Any slips and BANG - divorce. I have heard women threaten this my whole life, but I never got it until I got a divorce.

 

This is not to say that women are bad, or that they are all the same, or that men are losers, or anything like that. Modern life is all about incentives - our entire country is built upon incentives. And if you had a contract that you could reasonably get another person to sign that would essentially guarantee you 20-ish years of economic survival regardless of your behavior, I would call that a pretty strong incentive.

 

As women catch up with men financially, this will start to turn as the laws also catch up. But until then, marriage is a horrible idea on several levels. Why any man would sign that contract nowadays just boggles the mind.

 

I can gurantee you that most women don't think like men think they think.

 

[littleplanet]

I was engaged at 17.

When that didn't pan out (too young, too young) I rode off into the sunset for healing and new adventures.

I cruised right on to my 30th birthday having met and mingled with divers' varieties of women (the lord love 'em!)

 

........not one single blessed one of them wanted to get married.

 

Now I don't know.

Perhaps women are a different breed, these days.

Or perhaps they aren't.

And the dudes would have considered that I was the luckiest so-and-so on the living planet - to have avoided the big kahuna so effortlessly.

 

But here's the thing:

The agenda I'd had at the age of 17 - was still alive and strong.

So was a marriage-minded woman off my radar? (by default.)

I'm guessing not.

Though I tended to like women capable of discussing life outside the conventional box (still do) rather than tupperware, pretty nails and girl-gossip.

 

And marriage as a refuge for female tyranny?

Never known it.

Known my own home (and many others) to have a strong matriarchal deadweight (sort of like the strong keel that keeps the ship of state upright and capable of catching strong breezes) - and getting to that next safe port.

 

The entire planet is built on incentives.

The smartest man I ever knew reminded me of the supreme folly of learning about women from other men.

Instead, accurate knowledge comes straight from the horse's mouth.

(aye - that would be a woman.)

 

Last time I looked, the greatest incentive of them all is an order of things given over to the safest, normal and healthy environment within which to raise children.

Said children being the propagation of the species, the hope of a better future, and all the best and brightest accomplishments of familial love, honor and respect.

 

Now - I always figured women were pretty smart to place such a high value on these things. (So do all the best fathers I've ever known.)

And why?

The strength of a nation is in its clans.

Without them - we be a chaotic mess of a dispora wandering in deserts looking for promised lands never found.

 

And if smart lawyers and other denizens of law are out there busy punishing men behaving badly (and it is still in large part a man's world) then we have only ourselves to blame for the lack of wisdom in our own design - for putting such a thing together. Free enterprize and profit motives have been known since antiquity, to not always be so family-friendly.

 

All that being said - in my little corner of the planet, I know far too many young men of high education who shy away like startled deer from young women of high education - when it comes to matters of marriage.

The least reason is because they're too busy enjoying bachelor opprtunites for casual carefree bed-hopping.

The biggest reasons are far more interesting.

Massive college debt (that like bad credit, tends to stick around for awhile.)

The massive, crushing new improved politically correct models of male behavior.....(they know in their little doggie hearts that somethin' ain't right - just can't always put their finger on it.)

 

So it's just easier to defer. And they do so, in droves.

I never married a gender feminist. I married a woman in all ways my equal. She never was my better. Nor was I hers.

And we both fought like blazes, for the right to be so.

[todreaminblue]

I was engaged at 17.

When that didn't pan out (too young, too young) I rode off into the sunset for healing and new adventures.

I cruised right on to my 30th birthday having met and mingled with divers' varieties of women (the lord love 'em!)

 

........not one single blessed one of them wanted to get married.

 

Now I don't know.

Perhaps women are a different breed, these days.

Or perhaps they aren't.

And the dudes would have considered that I was the luckiest so-and-so on the living planet - to have avoided the big kahuna so effortlessly.

 

But here's the thing:

The agenda I'd had at the age of 17 - was still alive and strong.

So was a marriage-minded woman off my radar? (by default.)

I'm guessing not.

Though I tended to like women capable of discussing life outside the conventional box (still do) rather than tupperware, pretty nails and girl-gossip.

 

And marriage as a refuge for female tyranny?

Never known it.

Known my own home (and many others) to have a strong matriarchal deadweight (sort of like the strong keel that keeps the ship of state upright and capable of catching strong breezes) - and getting to that next safe port.

 

The entire planet is built on incentives.

The smartest man I ever knew reminded me of the supreme folly of learning about women from other men.

Instead, accurate knowledge comes straight from the horse's mouth.

(aye - that would be a woman.)

 

Last time I looked, the greatest incentive of them all is an order of things given over to the safest, normal and healthy environment within which to raise children.

Said children being the propagation of the species, the hope of a better future, and all the best and brightest accomplishments of familial love, honor and respect.

 

Now - I always figured women were pretty smart to place such a high value on these things. (So do all the best fathers I've ever known.)

And why?

The strength of a nation is in its clans.

Without them - we be a chaotic mess of a dispora wandering in deserts looking for promised lands never found.

 

And if smart lawyers and other denizens of law are out there busy punishing men behaving badly (and it is still in large part a man's world) then we have only ourselves to blame for the lack of wisdom in our own design - for putting such a thing together. Free enterprize and profit motives have been known since antiquity, to not always be so family-friendly.

 

All that being said - in my little corner of the planet, I know far too many young men of high education who shy away like startled deer from young women of high education - when it comes to matters of marriage.

The least reason is because they're too busy enjoying bachelor opprtunites for casual carefree bed-hopping.

The biggest reasons are far more interesting.

Massive college debt (that like bad credit, tends to stick around for awhile.)

The massive, crushing new improved politically correct models of male behavior.....(they know in their little doggie hearts that somethin' ain't right - just can't always put their finger on it.)

 

So it's just easier to defer. And they do so, in droves.

I never married a gender feminist. I married a woman in all ways my equal. She never was my better. Nor was I hers.

And we both fought like blazes, for the right to be so.

 

my big little planet on repeat, yep claimed ya....get over it....... i know your married so your safe but i do love your words and know you appreciate mine friend. we may be just family.......

 

 

i have an analogy for you a similarity to which you wrote of, when you spoke of anchors and keels and dead weight it made me remember all i have been thinking about lately(well that's a an omission for the greater public...;0)....)

 

 

is rowing a four man double scull it has played on mind and hit me reading your words.i rowed as an anchor in a four man scull, i actually dont think they should have put me as anchor but the coach said it was the spot for me and i believed him i was the heaviest and the strongest rower see a problem here.....now ill create more of a drag.

 

we used to row state regattas so we went to this beautiful town full of purple lilac hued jacarandas that was rather distracting, early morning came time to row and all i could think about was trees and wanting to sit under one and write poetry.....i digress

 

 

the strategy developed, i objected to, i was overruled by numbers and chain of command being my coach, who hadn't probably ever dealt in multiple possibility he was a simple lover of sport.they decided that i should save nearly all my strength for the last km haul, the point being, when the other teams were flagging and tiring they would have me to pull through and catch that win while others were beat in exhaustion, i vehemently denied wanting this i knew we would not win. they would have to pull my weight and that disgusted me so i was the drag on the end of the boat for two km while i coasted along swearing under my breath getting more agitated, as i seen the competitors pulling away and gaining immeasurable ground, the more water they gained the more agitated and tightly wound i became, waiting to be set unfettered to help

 

 

 

so the coxswain goes "now deb in this booming voice for a little woman lol" at the km pull... she called out now stroke, stroke stroke....and it was like a bomb went off in that boat......instead of control i had none, strength saved was way too much i was like an energizer bunny let loose in a domino factory and my right side is extremely strong......i turned that boat compeletely to the right and not straight ahead as planned the more i turnned the more frustrated and harder i pulled and stroked until we were in shore......lol....i cant stop laughing it must have been a sight...the boat is extremely long massive cant be carried by one person....i turned that boat with one arm, all in all, you put all in from the start not the middle not the last km but from the very start and you keep stroking and pulling regardless of fatigue or how far others are behind or in front you keep pulling and have a strategy that is agreed on you never save the best for last ...because the last km looks liek eeternity to your rowing pals but to you who has all the strength looks liek ten metres and its frustrating seeing boats ahead when you know its only ten metres not a km as they know it....you give it everything you have start to finish.....that of course includes marriage....if you save all your capabilities till last how do you find out that last is too late, how do you know the stregth you have might not pull you forward but speed you to another place...as a strong woman they should have put me in the center not the back not the front, i should have been central in the boat, the core.......i am a core girl, that is where women need to be in a marriage the central point ...the stability...especially strong right armed weighty women with big boobs ...they are not flotation devices to keep a boat afloat or in the lead...........they are grounders...and men in boats , if you want to marry a woman man up....deb

Edited June 10, 2014 by todreaminblue

[littleplanet]

I can't stop laughing

 

Floatation device?

But I love the analogy - tip my hat to that.

 

"Men in Boats"................sounds like a good name for a band.

(Except mine happens to have a lady drummer....)

 

I never was an oarsman, much less a captain.....

always preferred to be a lighthouse

(with a two-tone foghorn)

 

jp

[whirl3daway]

yeah, I wanna get married someday, to the right guy, the love of my life. I know, it makes me a terrible person and a greedy, money-hungry slut. my bad.

[Poppygoodwill]

I honestly never thought much about it for a long time. I had a great time working, traveling, loving people, living with people; I never felt like I was missing out and marriage didn't seem necessary. It still doesn't. But at 44 I met a man from another country and we fell in love. He's the very first man in all my life that I spontaneously thought: I'd like to be with him when I'm old. I never told him that though, cause it was a strange new thought for me and I didn't really know what it meant.

 

After a while he got a job offer in another country where it's illegal to live together without being married. He proposed because he didn't want to lose me. I agreed because at this age I knew myself well enough to know that this strange and rare thought I had means something profound and I might never have it again (never having had it before). And so I married for the first time at 45. He's a bit older, divorced. We know ourselves very well and we both have the confidence and perspective that experience gives you. I think that's why it works so well, even though I still find the idea sort of weird.

 

So I'm not pro marriage, or anti-marriage, though I do think it's not necessary, and marrying when you're older and wiser is probably a better idea all around.

[Snakechammah]

Yes, I would love to get married to the man of my dreams sooner rather than later!

[Icydescent]

When I was younger I wanted kids & marriage more than anything. Now I know I'll definitely never have kids, & marriage, eh. I just don't see the point in it anymore. It's amazing how perspective changes as you get older. I'm speaking strictly for me of course, nothing wrong at all with getting married.

[KathyM]

Most women and men hope to get married someday. If you're a dude who isn't interested in marriage, then you're not going to have an easy time keeping a woman long term if marriage is off the table.

[dragon_fly_7]

Does wanting later on a childfree marriage count too?

 

Since, I don't want kids I'm not rushing through marriage and it's not even on my priority list but maybe later on it would good getting proposed to and being with the man I can dedicate myself too. Both of us would obviousy have finished our majors by then.