stellablue Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 My fiance and I are building a house and getting married in August. House will be done in December. As a wedding gift his grandfather is giving us $30,000 to put down on the house. His little sister goes to school in the same town we will be living in and will be graduating in the following May. She has a lot of issues making friends and is extremely high maintenance and dramatic. She is also used to ALWAYS getting her way. Basically, she has pitched a huge fit to live with her brother until she graduates. I won't be living there until we get married so she thinks she is entitled to live with him. She has no one to room with and tags along with whatever we do. I told him that I refused to have her live with us our first year of marriage. We will be adjusting to living together and I'd rather not factor in all her drama, bitchiness, etc. She has caused such a stink about it that is grandfather told him he wouldn't give him the money unless she was allowed to live with us. I am so torn and know this is unfair to my fiance to have to go through this but it pisses me off she is going to get her way on this. She is so selfish and only cares about herself. She already gets mad that I don't always invite her to hang out with my girlfriends and god forbid my fiancé and I go to dinner without her. I finally broke down and told him I refused to live with her and said we could push the marriage date back until she graduates and moves out. Now I feel like a terrible person for putting him in that situation but I can't let her get away with affecting other people's lives with her selfishness. For the record, we get along great and she doesn't know how pissed off I am yet. She knows he doesn't want her to live there but she can't understand, or doesn't care to, why he wants to spend his first year of marriage with his wife - alone. With his grandfather putting his foot down his hands are ties. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stellablue Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 Also I am new here. Needed a place to vent and other's opinions without telling everyone I know so thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 do you love your fiancee,if you really love him no obstacle will put you off ......starting a life together..even annoying sisters ..piece of cake....if you love them you can stand united...doesnt mean you have to put up with bad behavior or inconsdierate behavior definitely put up some ground never breaking house rules.....good luck..smilin atcha..cheer up its not forever just a slice in time..your marriage though...thats forever i wish you well..deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author stellablue Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 Where is Miss Thang living NOW? Why can't she continue living wherever it is she's living NOW and graduate as planned? If that's not an option, then if Grandpa can afford to give you $30,000 (and suddenly put stipulations on it when there WEREN'T any before), why don't you consider maybe splitting that $30,000 with the spoiled little princess and she can use THAT towards a small dorm room near her college for her last year? It'd be worth the $15,000 just to keep her out of my house. I just have zero tolerance for drama queens. She lives in an apartment now. She is demanding to live with him because he crashed on her couch for a couple of months when he changed jobs and was waiting on his house to sell. So she thinks she should live with him. Difference is that it will be my house too. Money isn't an issue, she is just used to getting what she wants and doesn't care that she is affecting other people's lives. If it was a money issue I would feel completely different. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 I am so torn and know this is unfair to my fiance to have to go through this but it pisses me off she is going to get her way on this. She only gets her way on this if you and your fiance allow it. It's your house. Grandpa's money is no longer a gift, it's a business transaction. If you don't agree to the terms, then don't sign for it. I'm sure you two were depending on that money but if not having her there is more important to the both of you then surely you can rearrange some finances so that you can do without that money. For the record, we get along great and she doesn't know how pissed off I am yet. She doesn't need to know how pissed off you are, but I think she does need to know that you do not want her living there. You're kind of friends, right? Have you talked to her about it? Have you told her that for the next few decades this will be your marital home that you and her brother worked hard to earn, and that you want to be the first one to decide where the milk goes in the refrigerator and other silly things like that? Maybe it needs to be made really clear to her that in (especially) the first year of your marriage, you'll still be in the honeymoon phase and it's important to you that you and your husband experience that in privacy. If you explain all of that to her, do you think she would still want to live there? Surely she's capable of listening to reason. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 She only gets her way on this if you and your fiance allow it. It's your house. Grandpa's money is no longer a gift, it's a business transaction. If you don't agree to the terms, then don't sign for it. I'm sure you two were depending on that money but if not having her there is more important to the both of you then surely you can rearrange some finances so that you can do without that money. +1000 Say no to his grandfather's "gift" and live your lives on your own terms. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Money is often used to control family members. My mother tried that with me when my husband and I were engaged so we eloped. I knew that if I ever let my parents pay for my wedding, I would be indebted for the rest of my life. My husband and I would rather pay for things ourselves so that we have freedom. Give grandpa back his money so that he can't hold it over your head. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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