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miss_jaclynrae

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miss_jaclynrae

Gotten engaged and decided to wait until their wedding night to do it? Even if they had already had intercourse?

 

 

I have always thought it was an interesting thing to do, and would be open to trying it next time I get engaged...

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Gotten engaged and decided to wait until their wedding night to do it?

 

I wouldn't get engaged to someone I hadn't had (a lot of) sex with.

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Gotten engaged and decided to wait until their wedding night to do it? Even if they had already had intercourse?

 

 

I have always thought it was an interesting thing to do, and would be open to trying it next time I get engaged...

 

I always imagined I'd probably do that....like maybe be celibate for a month or so before the honeymoon so that it will be extra spicy and novel.:o

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miss_jaclynrae
I wouldn't get engaged to someone I hadn't had (a lot of) sex with.

 

I am saying after doing it a ton. :laugh:

Just for fun holding off on doing it again until your wedding night.

 

 

Trust me, I wouldn't either if we hadnt had a ton of sex.

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I always imagined I'd probably do that....like maybe be celibate for a month or so before the honeymoon so that it will be extra spicy and novel.:o

 

I figure it could be a fun way to make that day even MORE special. Not to mention give him a little something to make all the planning and boring stuff worth it... :p

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I wouldn't get engaged to someone I hadn't had (a lot of) sex with.

 

Jaclyn could correct me if I'm mistaken, but I thought she meant that you've already had lots of sex as a couple, but you just decided to not have sex for a while during the engagement/leading up to the wedding, in order to replay that kind of "first time" scenario during the honeymoon. That's how I took it all the same.

 

If that's what she means, yea I've actually always thought about that. I could see myself doing that, like abstaining for a month before the wedding, that way we'll be ravenous on the honeymoon :embarrassed:

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I am saying after doing it a ton. :laugh:

Just for fun holding off on doing it again until your wedding night.

 

 

Trust me, I wouldn't either if we hadnt had a ton of sex.

 

Oh saw this after my post!

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Jaclyn could correct me if I'm mistaken, but I thought she meant that you've already had lots of sex as a couple, but you just decided to not have sex for a while during the engagement/leading up to the wedding, in order to replay that kind of "first time" scenario during the honeymoon. That's how I took it all the same.

 

If that's what she means, yea I've actually always thought about that. I could see myself doing that, like abstaining for a month before the wedding, that way we'll be ravenous on the honeymoon :embarrassed:

 

That is EXACTLY what I meant. :D

 

 

 

I don't know if I would do one month, or from the time of engagement to the actual wedding night...

When marriage starts to become a more serious scenario, I am definitely going to bring it up! I don't really know anyone who has done that before though.

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Lots of couples do this from what I've heard but it's never usually started from the moment of engagement as American engaments tend to run very long. Mostly it's anywhere from 1-3 months that couples wait. Sometimes it doesn't even start intentionally, one of my friends didn't have sex with her husband a little over four months before the wedding. Their schedules had become hectic what with the wedding planning on her end and the working extra hours on his to bank both cash for their honeymoon and additional time off. It's was only about 2 months in she realized they hadn't had sex in some time and decided to make it an official "thing".

 

I think it's a great idea and if I ever get engaged again it'll definitely be something I'd like to try.

 

 

That is a good point, one to three months actually sounds more reasonable. I want it to be long enough to where we both sense it missing, but not so long that it becomes TOO frustrating. :laugh:

 

I think it might be a fun idea to try the the week leading up to the wedding but never for weeks, months, or an entire year.

 

We have gone two weeks before no big deal. It would have to be longer than that.

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I figure it could be a fun way to make that day even MORE special. Not to mention give him a little something to make all the planning and boring stuff worth it... :p

 

Anticipation can definitely turn things up on a notch and keep things spicy. I think that's why dating is often so exciting and fun, is that things are still surprising or there is some level of anticipation of seeing the person/having sex. I'm not yet married, but already think of things I'd want to incorporate into any long term relationship to preserve that element of anticipation and mystery. I think the comfort and ease of knowing you can have that person whenever you want is a perk of marriage, but sometimes you have to mix it up...sometimes there has to be some surprise, mystery, anticipation about the sex, a little tease before you give in.

 

I know even in dating relationships where I was spending almost everyday with my guy, sleeping over, waking up together, grocery shopping etc and we had sex everyday pretty much, there would be a week when I was swamped so I saw him maybe once or twice or I'd go away for a week or two and when I came back...the sex just was recharged and ON, because of that anticipation and almost renewed novelty. So knowing that, yeaa I definitely can see myself allowing the anticipation to be built up for the honeymoon, as a cool way to make things interesting.

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Sounds like a bad idea.

 

:rolleyes:

What? Can't hold out for a month or so? You did it when single right?

 

 

 

If can go months without sex when single I could do it while in a relationship.

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I can go the rest of my life with out sex and live as a monk on top of some mountain talking to animals that can't understand me. My point is holding off on sex right before the marriage sounds like a bad idea to me. One of the good reasons to get married is sex and if you're holding off the weeks, months or what ever before you might add stress that is unneeded. I know you want to do this to be romantic I just don't see it that way. Maybe he will.

 

And with the bolded... it all made sense.

:rolleyes:

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Well the good thing is that I'm sure if a couple decides to do it, it will be, or should be, a mutual decision and not something forced which will "cause added stress." If a couple feels it doesn't suit them, then they do not need to do it at all. But I'm sure couples have done this to their own benefit.

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I don't see the problem either but I wouldn't want to do it though. So if you were engaged to me we wouldn't be playing that game.

 

Well no one here is engaged to you...so that solves that.

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I'd be opposed because I want a women who wants regular sex and I'd want to be reminded of that fact especially before the wedding. I don't believe in waiting to have sex before marriage unless it's a religious thing and the girl is a virgin. Personally I wouldn't marry some one I never had sex with and I don't want to do a symbolic gesture like holding off before the wedding.

 

I don't appreciate being talked to the way you write to me. When I wrote I don't see the problem it was in context of your remark about sex addiction. As for the what if it was meant to be a hypothetical not any kind of proposition so please save your rejections for some one who cares.

 

 

 

:laugh:

I think the point is going WAY over your head.

You are saying you want regular sex, marriage usually entails that... You just don't WANT to do it.

 

 

You do realize there is more to marriage than steady sex right?

You have yet to give a valid reason as to why it would be stressful or too difficult to do.

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Gotten engaged and decided to wait until their wedding night to do it? Even if they had already had intercourse?

 

I have always thought it was an interesting thing to do, and would be open to trying it next time I get engaged...

Uh no, horrible idea. To me sex is a very important part of expressing love and intimacy and I have to be sexually compatible with the other person to be in a relationship.

 

If he didn't understand that I would know he didn't see sex as important as I did therefore there would be no talk of relationship let alone marriage.

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Uh no, horrible idea. To me sex is a very important part of expressing love and intimacy and I have to be sexually compatible with the other person to be in a relationship.

 

If he didn't understand that I would know he didn't see sex as important as I did therefore there would be no talk of relationship let alone marriage.

 

I am confused...

I am saying after already having sex with that person. :confused:

 

I am in no way saying sex isn't important, I am not saying waiting to have sex until marriage and NOT sleeping with that person at all.

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I never said celibacy negates sex, and you were the one who started talking to me about sexual addiction and stuff. So, you obviously cared enough to confront me with your personal hang ups.

 

I agree with her completely...

 

Any person who wouldn't be able to wait more than a week [those were your words btw] in my eyes has either a sexual addiction or some other issue.

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I am confused...

I am saying after already having sex with that person. :confused:

 

I am in no way saying sex isn't important, I am not saying waiting to have sex until marriage and NOT sleeping with that person at all.

If you are confused you don't understand the importance of relationship maintenance.

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If you are confused you don't understand the importance of relationship maintenance.

 

Relationship maintenance?

So let me get this straight, me and my future husband both agreeing it would be fun to wait a few months or so before our wedding to withhold sex, and make sex on our wedding night THAT much more awesome... means we are lacking relationship maintenance?

 

 

 

Enlighten me with your logic please.

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Relationship maintenance?

So let me get this straight, me and my future husband both agreeing it would be fun to wait a few months or so before our wedding to withhold sex, and make sex on our wedding night THAT much more awesome... means we are lacking relationship maintenance?

 

Enlighten me with your logic please.

I don't know whether logic comes into it, to me it's more common sense and understanding emotions to a degree.

 

You get engaged and obviously how long you wait will depend on when your wedding is. In the meantime you decide that you take the expression of intimacy and one important expression of love out of the equation. This means potentially losing a very important aspect of conflict resolution and relationship maintenance.

 

You are assuming your sex life will resume the same way after taking months or a year off. I think it's fairly commonly experienced that when people stop having sex they often don't resume it, in fact one way to keep a healthy long term sex life is to regularly have sex to keep in the habit and most importantly the intimacy.

 

If a man suggested stopping having sex with me for months or a year I would assume he didn't love me anymore.

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i quite like this idea. A month of teasing each other...fantasizing together about the wedding night...but not even full nudity in the other's presence.

 

Yes, delayed gratification is my thing.

 

I'd have to be allowed to m******ate though... I'll get grumpy instead of excited otherwise :laugh:

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i quite like this idea. A month of teasing each other...fantasizing together about the wedding night...but not even full nudity in the other's presence.

 

Yes, delayed gratification is my thing.

 

I'd have to be allowed to m******ate though... I'll get grumpy instead of excited otherwise :laugh:

 

:laugh:

I think it would be allowed, although it would just make it more fun to say not touching yourself either! I know I would go insane!

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I don't know whether logic comes into it, to me it's more common sense and understanding emotions to a degree.

 

You get engaged and obviously how long you wait will depend on when your wedding is. In the meantime you decide that you take the expression of intimacy and one important expression of love out of the equation. This means potentially losing a very important aspect of conflict resolution and relationship maintenance.

 

You are assuming your sex life will resume the same way after taking months or a year off. I think it's fairly commonly experienced that when people stop having sex they often don't resume it, in fact one way to keep a healthy long term sex life is to regularly have sex to keep in the habit and most importantly the intimacy.

 

If a man suggested stopping having sex with me for months or a year I would assume he didn't love me anymore.

 

 

 

That is assuming sex is the only way to express love. Unlike you, sex is not the most important thing to me in a relationship. Based on some of your past posts, you place a huge importance on sex.

 

We don't.

 

 

You are still saying that by us MUTUALLY AGREEING to not have sex until our wedding night is showing eachother than we don't love one another? For you maybe, but sex doesn't equate love in our relationship. It also doesn't equate intimacy. In my mind, to rely on sex to provide all of the above is unhealthy.

 

We also don't use sex to resolve anything in our relationship.

If anything, we would be improving our sex life by doing it. What you are saying really doesn't make much sense to me.

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That is assuming sex is the only way to express love. Unlike you, sex is not the most important thing to me in a relationship. Based on some of your past posts, you place a huge importance on sex.

I said "and one important expression of love" so maybe before you get sarcastic you wish to learn the basics of reading comprehension.

 

I do indeed place a huge importance on sex.

We don't.

Your prerogative.

You are still saying that by us MUTUALLY AGREEING to not have sex until our wedding night is showing eachother than we don't love one another? For you maybe, but sex doesn't equate love in our relationship.

 

We also don't use sex to resolve anything in our relationship.

If anything, we would be improving our sex life by doing it.

The only thing it would achieve is that he would cum in 2 minutes. If you need abstinence to improve your sex life perhaps you want to consider whether you are with the right person sexually. Stopping doing something that's not very good isn't usually the way to improve it.

What you are saying really doesn't make much sense to me.

I would be almost concerned if it did.

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