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Failed Marriage Proposal


naturehikerguy

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naturehikerguy

Hi, I'm new here. I'll try to be brief, this is extremely awkward me doing this, so thank you in advance for your understanding.

 

My relationship began with a 50 year old lady from China back in September of 2012. I am 44 years of age. She has been over here a few times in the past, each time on the type of visa one receives when visiting family. The last time was no exception. We dated solid for 5 and a half months, and then she had to go back to China in early March. Our temporary parting was extremely painful for both of us...much tears were shed on both sides...but we immediately made plans to be together again as soon as she could get back.

 

While she was away in China, we texted and called multiple times each day...and gradually the language changed to calling each other "husband" and "wife" even though we are not married. We began to actively contemplate a future life together.

 

Now don't get me wrong. I understand the complexity of the situation. She has always arrived on visas in order to get here...and talking to immigration to keep her here is always risky as there are no guarantees, so I have had to accept that even going back to China with her in the future is a possibility for me, as the thought of being away from each other again like had happened is too painful.

 

I moved out of an old living situation and set up a new place on June 8. She moved in with me after she arrived on June 18. I proposed to her as soon as we got back to the apartment...and thinking back...her acceptance was a lukewarm yes. I bought a ring even though my financial situation is not the best, so this should say something in regards to my level of commitment.

 

Over the course of the past weekend, her and I arranged to visit and stay over with friends, and as discussed, she would be staying with them on Monday and Tuesday with me coming back here to the apartment because I cannot miss work. On Sunday afternoon she told me although she loves me, she just wants to live with me, and her answer changed to she is "just not sure." Her reasoning was that we need more time to get to know one another. I do not entirely buy this because I feel we already have had enough time...and my understanding of Eastern cultures is far greater than she ever gives me credit for, but I digress.

 

Quite frankly, her "not sure" answer is wishy-washy, and s the same as receiving a "no" answer to the question. I am completely devastated! I do not know if I can get past this...especially given how poorly she handled my original proposal from the start. I would much rather she had been straight with me from the beginning...rather taking the easy route and just being agreeable!

 

She has stated that my temper is an problem. I agree that it is...it is not all that bad as she might think...and it has been used I feel as a whitewash for other issues. I have told her that she has a tendency to not be straight with people...I am beginning to sense that she might have learned this from her parents but perhaps again I digress. In any case, when I ask direct questions, I expect a direct answers. I do not feel this to be unreasonable. I do not want anyone to lead me along the garden path, only to be shown a crappy bunch of daisies growing in a pile of horse manure. I can handle the truth, received from a straight-shooter with tactfulness of course and not in an over blunt nor mean manner. I have told her all of this of course, but she still does the same types of things be just wanting to be agreeable, change the subject, sweep things under the rug, etc, etc. The net effect is that my temper does get aggravated, and while a display of anger might not be the best thing, I do have a right to be angry about this. Certainly, her use of the "husband" phrase led me to believe that acceptance to a marriage proposal would be likely.

 

Right now, as I said, I am completely devastated and I do not know if I really can get past this. Do I suck it up and ask again later? A part of me wants too, but a part of me is afraid of rejection and does not ever want to ask again! She has also used language about finding a job in an area too far removed from the apartment, so what she is suggesting here is far less than I had thought. What is going on here?

 

I've told her that it is best for the two of us to split up...that she's been a good girlfriend...but what I really require is someone who is ready to marry. I've also told her that her choices have created a situation that is not making me happy...that there is nothing I can do about it...and although it pains me deeply, she must move out.

 

I haven't given a direct ultimatum but her stubborn refusal to change, to accept personal responsibility for her actions, and be straight with me, not to mention her negative response to the marriage proposal, has created a situation where I am now hurt and resentful of her very presence. I feel that I done everything possible! It is all up to her...only she can save this relationship.

 

What do you guys think? Am I being unreasonable here, or am I justified? Will she come around, or should I accept the pain and move on?

 

I apologize is I haven't written this to the best of my ability but I am upset so am doing my best, thanks.

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naturehikerguy

Thank you but right now I have my doubts that couples counselling is going to work. I can't even get her to acknowledge that there is a problem! Her stubbornness and pride are far more important to her than any professed love she claims to have for me I guess.

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You say your understanding of eastern cultures is deeper than she gives you credit for. Now let me give you an asian perspective on two points-

 

People in Asia RARELY get married in less than one year of knowing someone. That is a FACT and deeply embedded cultural trait. Also. At her age, her family value are more traditional than contemporary Chinese - she comes from a generation where arranged marriage is the norm.

 

Second, if you are familiar with eastern culture, you will know that being brought up in a country where education and family values does NOT permit you to free expression, and in which Confucian values explicitly values harmony of community OVER the individual interest, that in face, her way of disagreeing with you is completely within reason in Chinese culture. Why? Because Chinese believe respect for people is shown by giving them "face": polite disagreements, avoiding disagreements are part of this process.

 

You should in fact be happy that she is being cautious (thereby showing this relationship respect!) and is not confrontational with you. Most modern Chinese women are the exact opposite and would have no qualms marrying you for economical reasons and the status of marrying a foreigner.

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Don't disregard her feelings about needing more time. It's not all about you. Yes you may have a better understanding of her culture than she gives you credit for, but what makes you think that your timeline is more important than hers? Or that you had enough time so she should too?

 

I don't think she handled the proposal poorly. She could've been honest at the beginning and after a few days of it settling in, she realized exactly what it all means. It's a big commitment. She would be agreeable if she married you and had an ounce of doubt the whole time. She told you as quickly as she realized...

 

How do you know what she thinks? It's your temper that she has to live with. "It's not as bad as she thinks..." again, disregard of her feelings and just smoothing it over as what you think it should be.

 

All I read in your post is "me me me or I I I ". You expect a direct answer, but she may have been raised differently. Just because YOU expect it, doesn't mean it comes naturally for someone else. Perhaps your anger is what is making her feel scared to be direct with you. You have the right to be angry, but she doesn't have the right to be herself?

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You say your understanding of eastern cultures is deeper than she gives you credit for. Now let me give you an asian perspective on two points-

 

People in Asia RARELY get married in less than one year of knowing someone. That is a FACT and deeply embedded cultural trait. Also. At her age, her family value are more traditional than contemporary Chinese - she comes from a generation where arranged marriage is the norm.

 

Second, if you are familiar with eastern culture, you will know that being brought up in a country where education and family values does NOT permit you to free expression, and in which Confucian values explicitly values harmony of community OVER the individual interest, that in face, her way of disagreeing with you is completely within reason in Chinese culture. Why? Because Chinese believe respect for people is shown by giving them "face": polite disagreements, avoiding disagreements are part of this process.

 

You should in fact be happy that she is being cautious (thereby showing this relationship respect!) and is not confrontational with you. Most modern Chinese women are the exact opposite and would have no qualms marrying you for economical reasons and the status of marrying a foreigner.

 

How do I like this 10 times? As a modern Asian woman growing up in North America, I agree 100%.

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I don't actually know a single Chinese (as in, Chinese who was born in Asia) who got married in less than a year, regardless of age...

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naturehikerguy
You say your understanding of eastern cultures is deeper than she gives you credit for. Now let me give you an asian perspective on two points-

 

People in Asia RARELY get married in less than one year of knowing someone. That is a FACT and deeply embedded cultural trait. Also. At her age, her family value are more traditional than contemporary Chinese - she comes from a generation where arranged marriage is the norm.

 

Second, if you are familiar with eastern culture, you will know that being brought up in a country where education and family values does NOT permit you to free expression, and in which Confucian values explicitly values harmony of community OVER the individual interest, that in face, her way of disagreeing with you is completely within reason in Chinese culture. Why? Because Chinese believe respect for people is shown by giving them "face": polite disagreements, avoiding disagreements are part of this process.

 

You should in fact be happy that she is being cautious (thereby showing this relationship respect!) and is not confrontational with you. Most modern Chinese women are the exact opposite and would have no qualms marrying you for economical reasons and the status of marrying a foreigner.

 

Excuse me but I do understand these aspects of Chinese culture as I have studied them before. This is not my first relationship with an East or Southeastern Asian woman. I continue to talk to her but quite frankly, it's not going so well, as she continues to pull away from me. She is just more concerned about making decisions for herself right now. I've tried to be supportive but her living away from me is far less than I had hoped. I've tried to take her perspective and feelings into account. But this aspect of avoiding confrontation as a Confucian way of dealing with things so that we can all save face has had the exact opposite effect on me! By first saying yes, and then "I'm not sure, and then even further removing herself from me is still deeply upsetting and troubling to me. I guess I have no right to upset nor hurt here? Oh hardly! You were extremely blunt...decided to let me have it...so I'm going to come out and state that the Western culture that I'm a part of also needs to be taken into consideration. She wants things done her way all of the time! I will not submit, and unless that is fixed now, I would become a helpless male slave later on. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? And don't say that it is because I'm not understanding of her culture and feelings because that isn't true. I've broken things off with her as there are other issues involved here that I will not state on a public forum...so things are not going so well because I really do love her. However, I just have to understand that some situations are just not fixable nor liveable, so perhaps it is for the best. I will live by myself rather than always being expected to be the understanding doormat!

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naturehikerguy
I don't actually know a single Chinese (as in, Chinese who was born in Asia) who got married in less than a year, regardless of age...

 

Just to further clarify, in additional conversations I had with her, I specifically stated that I was not expecting to get married next week. I told her that it would be a long engagement. I am modern in one way, traditional in others. In regards to issues such as living together and marriage, I lean towards the traditional side.

 

If she had been honest right from the start and said no with strong reasons...stated that she wanted to live together...and said that perhaps she would consider marriage in the future, I would have been ok with that. But she did none of that, so now, I'm faced with a situation that is far less than I had hoped.

 

I still like the idea of the institution of marriage as I do have my comfort level. I would have thought that even from her Confucian/Daoist/Buddhist/Ancestral belief Chinese mode of thought that she would have been cool with my suggestion. But she is not so I have to deal with that and move on I guess.

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naturehikerguy
How do I like this 10 times? As a modern Asian woman growing up in North America, I agree 100%.

 

 

I understand though I do not like. I understand her feelings and thoughts, so do not be so quick to slap me in the face with your quick agreement from the other poster. But I also am human, easily hurt. So I guess as a male I don't count? No wonder so many women now are impossible to have a relationship these days...

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naturehikerguy
Don't disregard her feelings about needing more time. It's not all about you. Yes you may have a better understanding of her culture than she gives you credit for, but what makes you think that your timeline is more important than hers? Or that you had enough time so she should too?

 

I don't think she handled the proposal poorly. She could've been honest at the beginning and after a few days of it settling in, she realized exactly what it all means. It's a big commitment. She would be agreeable if she married you and had an ounce of doubt the whole time. She told you as quickly as she realized...

 

How do you know what she thinks? It's your temper that she has to live with. "It's not as bad as she thinks..." again, disregard of her feelings and just smoothing it over as what you think it should be.

 

All I read in your post is "me me me or I I I ". You expect a direct answer, but she may have been raised differently. Just because YOU expect it, doesn't mean it comes naturally for someone else. Perhaps your anger is what is making her feel scared to be direct with you. You have the right to be angry, but she doesn't have the right to be herself?

 

Oh, I'm sorry? No right to state "me me me or I I I" in my own post? Believe me when I tell you that "I" have been more understanding with this woman than you could possibly imagine. I will not share certain things on this post but let us try infidelity that I forgave plus a refusal to truly commit. Well "I" am at the end of my rope. And "she" can deal with her issues and possibly come back to "me" at some future date. "I" do not hold out much hope...

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She sounds smart. She sees something she deems a major issue before she wants to get married (your temper). She wants to know how it will affect her by living with you before she commits to a lifelong partnership.

 

Doesn't sound "wishy washy" to me. Sounds like she is doing a good job taking care of herself.

 

IMO you are focusing too much on her culture and beliefs and not enough on her as a woman. This isn't about being Chinese - it's about wanting to make the right choices for herself.

 

And some of your comments are causing a strong negative reaction in me.

 

She wants things done her way all of the time! I will not submit, and unless that is fixed now, I would become a helpless male slave later on.

 

I will live by myself rather than always being expected to be the understanding doormat!

 

She is just more concerned about making decisions for herself right now.

 

Her stubbornness and pride are far more important to her than any professed love she claims to have for me I guess.

 

She has stated that my temper is an problem. I agree that it is...it is not all that bad as she might think...and it has been used I feel as a whitewash for other issues.

 

The net effect is that my temper does get aggravated, and while a display of anger might not be the best thing, I do have a right to be angry about this.

 

I haven't given a direct ultimatum but her stubborn refusal to change, to accept personal responsibility for her actions, and be straight with me, not to mention her negative response to the marriage proposal, has created a situation where I am now hurt and resentful of her very presence. I feel that I done everything possible! It is all up to her...only she can save this relationship.

 

I can't quite put my finger on it. Something about a feeling of entitlement, stubbornness, and an attitude of a relationship being a competition with a winner and a loser.

 

Maybe one of the other wise LS members can help figure out what exactly it is.

 

But yes, I think you are being unreasonable. Your expectations weren't met, so you are punishing her. Like if you don't get everything you want, you have no use for her.

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naturehikerguy
She sounds smart. She sees something she deems a major issue before she wants to get married (your temper). She wants to know how it will affect her by living with you before she commits to a lifelong partnership.

 

Doesn't sound "wishy washy" to me. Sounds like she is doing a good job taking care of herself.

 

IMO you are focusing too much on her culture and beliefs and not enough on her as a woman. This isn't about being Chinese - it's about wanting to make the right choices for herself.

 

And some of your comments are causing a strong negative reaction in me.

 

 

 

I can't quite put my finger on it. Something about a feeling of entitlement, stubbornness, and an attitude of a relationship being a competition with a winner and a loser.

 

Maybe one of the other wise LS members can help figure out what exactly it is.

 

But yes, I think you are being unreasonable. Your expectations weren't met, so you are punishing her. Like if you don't get everything you want, you have no use for her.

 

Sigh, I disagree with you...and it goes beyond all of this though. I never stated that my temper was never a problem but somehow, I think this has been blown way out of proportion. The issues I have raised with her--the lack of being straight with people, attitude towards money, and self-centredness (wanting everything her own way)--have been lost in the shuffle, but the problem is, those issues really do matter.

 

And you should know, that she only reversed her decision when confronted with my temper. My temper was aggravated by her three issues...not that I'm making an excuse...but I did state this to her.

 

I've broken it off with her. Not because of some sense of entitlement, not because I'm hurt and angry...but more out of a desire to protect myself from being hurt by her anymore. Maybe you're not aware but I did state to another poster that I had previously forgiven a certain infidelity of hers a few months back. I did this at the time because I understood the context but this still needs to be taken into account. And she did reveal something else to me earlier today about something else that does not involve infidelity? What other secrets is she keeping here? Time for a pause, I think...

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Oh, I'm sorry? No right to state "me me me or I I I" in my own post? Believe me when I tell you that "I" have been more understanding with this woman than you could possibly imagine. I will not share certain things on this post but let us try infidelity that I forgave plus a refusal to truly commit. Well "I" am at the end of my rope. And "she" can deal with her issues and possibly come back to "me" at some future date. "I" do not hold out much hope...

 

I'm not slapping you in the face by agreeing with someone else. If you had said something I agreed with, I would express that.

 

You have all the right to state "you you you" in your post. I'm just pointing out what was obvious to me... which your post is geared towards you and your wants, but not her wants or even worse, "our" wants. I hope your approach of pushing her until her back is against the wall and she blurts out an answer works for you. Why is it hard for you to give her time? Why do you need an answer right now? Marriage is a life long commitment and it's a big deal. I can certainly read your frustration in your post and I can only imagine how you speak to her. Do you get angry every time you bring this up? And then she turtles into her shell? As she mentioned in the past, your anger is an issue. I

 

Also what do you mean she can go and deal with her issues and then possibly come back to you in the future. Does that mean that you hope that eventually you both will end up with one another? I wonder if she's assessing whether or not you are the right man she wants to be with for the rest of her life. Your amazing support of "let her deal with her issues and then come back when she's perfect" will probably show her that she does want to be with someone for the rest of her life, but not with someone who can't emotionally support her, even if that means you have to put your needs behind for her to figure it out.

 

At the end what you are writing to us comes off as angry, humiliated, and impatient. Your ego is definitely bruised because she said yes and then took it back and you want an answer now, whether or not she can give it to you.

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Sigh, I disagree with you...and it goes beyond all of this though. I never stated that my temper was never a problem but somehow, I think this has been blown way out of proportion. The issues I have raised with her--the lack of being straight with people, attitude towards money, and self-centredness (wanting everything her own way)--have been lost in the shuffle, but the problem is, those issues really do matter.

 

And you should know, that she only reversed her decision when confronted with my temper. My temper was aggravated by her three issues...not that I'm making an excuse...but I did state this to her.

 

I've broken it off with her. Not because of some sense of entitlement, not because I'm hurt and angry...but more out of a desire to protect myself from being hurt by her anymore. Maybe you're not aware but I did state to another poster that I had previously forgiven a certain infidelity of hers a few months back. I did this at the time because I understood the context but this still needs to be taken into account. And she did reveal something else to me earlier today about something else that does not involve infidelity? What other secrets is she keeping here? Time for a pause, I think...

 

Well here's something... it may be that you're both just not that compatible with one another. Your perception of her is that everything has to go her way: money, people, etc. Your post suggests that you're frustrated because THIS situation isn't going your way. The anger that was shown in some of your posts suggest that you're not the kind of guy to just stand by and let her have it her way all the time. Yes, if she is self centered, that is an issue because there are two people in a relationship.

 

Based on THIS post, I think you both are not on the same page. I apologize that I missed the infidelity part. That changes her character and for the sake of anyone who wants a successful marriage and life partnership - run. I don't give cheaters a second chance and it's obvious that you want to get married. So I wouldn't even consider her at that point.

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Sigh, I disagree with you...and it goes beyond all of this though. I never stated that my temper was never a problem but somehow, I think this has been blown way out of proportion. The issues I have raised with her--the lack of being straight with people, attitude towards money, and self-centredness (wanting everything her own way)--have been lost in the shuffle, but the problem is, those issues really do matter.

 

And you should know, that she only reversed her decision when confronted with my temper. My temper was aggravated by her three issues...not that I'm making an excuse...but I did state this to her.

 

I've broken it off with her. Not because of some sense of entitlement, not because I'm hurt and angry...but more out of a desire to protect myself from being hurt by her anymore. Maybe you're not aware but I did state to another poster that I had previously forgiven a certain infidelity of hers a few months back. I did this at the time because I understood the context but this still needs to be taken into account. And she did reveal something else to me earlier today about something else that does not involve infidelity? What other secrets is she keeping here? Time for a pause, I think...

 

Not saying she is perfect or that she has made no mistakes... but she isn't here. It does no good for me to talk to YOU about HER issues. You can't change her issues, only yours.

 

We only know what you share about your side of the story. So consider what everyone says, and discard it if it doesn't apply.

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naturehikerguy
I'm not slapping you in the face by agreeing with someone else. If you had said something I agreed with, I would express that.

 

You have all the right to state "you you you" in your post. I'm just pointing out what was obvious to me... which your post is geared towards you and your wants, but not her wants or even worse, "our" wants. I hope your approach of pushing her until her back is against the wall and she blurts out an answer works for you. Why is it hard for you to give her time? Why do you need an answer right now? Marriage is a life long commitment and it's a big deal. I can certainly read your frustration in your post and I can only imagine how you speak to her. Do you get angry every time you bring this up? And then she turtles into her shell? As she mentioned in the past, your anger is an issue. I

 

Also what do you mean she can go and deal with her issues and then possibly come back to you in the future. Does that mean that you hope that eventually you both will end up with one another? I wonder if she's assessing whether or not you are the right man she wants to be with for the rest of her life. Your amazing support of "let her deal with her issues and then come back when she's perfect" will probably show her that she does want to be with someone for the rest of her life, but not with someone who can't emotionally support her, even if that means you have to put your needs behind for her to figure it out.

 

At the end what you are writing to us comes off as angry, humiliated, and impatient. Your ego is definitely bruised because she said yes and then took it back and you want an answer now, whether or not she can give it to you.

 

Yes, of course it is an ego-bruiser to a man to receive a no answer; it always is, always will be. This was worse because it was a yes changed to a no. Major ego bruiser. Many men might have walked away but I did not.

 

She has not yet acknowleged that the issues I have raised are really a problem. I'm not expecting perfection here, far from it, none of us are perfect...but I at least need these issues to be acknowledged so that I have something to work with here. I can only be supportive in regards to acknowleged issues, otherwise, a marriage would never work. Married couples help each other in all aspects. I'm willing to help her, and I trust she is willing to help me too...but right now, I really am waiting for some sort of a change. My hands are tied. I can do nothing.

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naturehikerguy
Well here's something... it may be that you're both just not that compatible with one another. Your perception of her is that everything has to go her way: money, people, etc. Your post suggests that you're frustrated because THIS situation isn't going your way. The anger that was shown in some of your posts suggest that you're not the kind of guy to just stand by and let her have it her way all the time. Yes, if she is self centered, that is an issue because there are two people in a relationship.

 

Based on THIS post, I think you both are not on the same page. I apologize that I missed the infidelity part. That changes her character and for the sake of anyone who wants a successful marriage and life partnership - run. I don't give cheaters a second chance and it's obvious that you want to get married. So I wouldn't even consider her at that point.

 

I had already forgiven her for her previous infidelity as I stated to another poster but that is only because I understood the unique situation at the time. I'm willing to give her a chance but for how long? She MUST understand that my forgiveness of things is not to be taken for cheap. I do not want to be hurt again. Maybe she'll turn around, maybe she won't. But even if that point never arrives, I'm ok by myself.

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naturehikerguy
Not saying she is perfect or that she has made no mistakes... but she isn't here. It does no good for me to talk to YOU about HER issues. You can't change her issues, only yours.

 

We only know what you share about your side of the story. So consider what everyone says, and discard it if it doesn't apply.

 

On these aspects, I can agree. I many ways, I wish she was here to state her case but she is not. I just have to follow my own heart on this. She presented me with an offer earlier today of not being exclusive with me for a period of two months, with the idea of moving in with me and strengthening our relationship after that period of time. This makes no sense to me. Her attitude was unbending, and she gave me a "take it or leave it" type of offer.

 

I refused her offer. I will live alone.

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On these aspects, I can agree. I many ways, I wish she was here to state her case but she is not. I just have to follow my own heart on this. She presented me with an offer earlier today of not being exclusive with me for a period of two months, with the idea of moving in with me and strengthening our relationship after that period of time. This makes no sense to me. Her attitude was unbending, and she gave me a "take it or leave it" type of offer.

 

I refused her offer. I will live alone.

 

She sounds wishy-washy about your relationship at best. Now she doesn't want to be exclusive for two months? That almost seems like there might be someone she wants to go check out...

 

You did the right thing. Time for you to move on.

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I think she is really sneaky and low. To bring up your temper is just her way of smoke screening and hopefully taking the focus off her issues, which are: Non-communicative; fear of confrontation; sneaky; flakey; wishy-washy, mean for making you feel like this is all your fault...I could go on. If your temper was/is so bad, why does she want to live with you or even date you. You dodged a bullet. Do you really want to be married to someone who you can't discuss things honestly with? I know it hurts when you find out the truth about someone you thought you loved, but better now than later. Try to find a woman from New York. New Yorkers are straight shooters. You know where you stand with them. BTW, I didn't know traditional cultural Chinese values include shacking up before marriage.

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You know where you stand with them. BTW, I didn't know traditional cultural Chinese values include shacking up before marriage.

 

They definitely don't! My fiance IS Chinese, and we've been shacking up for quite a while :lmao: He's far from typical.

 

She's already demonstrated that she's far from "traditional" in this sense, so cultural reasons and justifications don't really apply to her behavior.

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HokeyReligions

You can love someone and still be incompatible. It sound like you two are not compatible.

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ForeverHopeful1

I've broken it off with her. Not because of some sense of entitlement, not because I'm hurt and angry...but more out of a desire to protect myself from being hurt by her anymore. Maybe you're not aware but I did state to another poster that I had previously forgiven a certain infidelity of hers a few months back. I did this at the time because I understood the context but this still needs to be taken into account. And she did reveal something else to me earlier today about something else that does not involve infidelity? What other secrets is she keeping here? Time for a pause, I think...

 

Why would you propose to a woman you have been with less than a year who has already cheated on you???????? Youre better off without her even though it hurts right now. I think you know this though.

 

Im glad you told her you were not interested in her "for 2 months, lets not be exclusive, then I'll move in" deal. Sounds ridiculous. She needs two months to dump her OM. I am almost positive she is still cheating. This is just a whackadoo idea on her part. So she is cheating and wants a pass, or she is just insane. She wants two months to be "single" so she can go do other things......... I mean, men.

 

You're doing the right thing by ending it and not taking her up on this ridiculous deal of hers.

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naturehikerguy

Thank you all for your comments! This is just a quick update, so I'll try to keep this brief. In short, my former lady friend is history! And from what I've heard through the grapevine, there was another guy...who has now dumped her in favour of a real relationship! Haha...poetic justice? She has called wanting me back but I've politely told her no way. (She should consider herself lucky I was polite). And...I've started dating again. I've been lucky, actually, to get quite a few dates now from ladies who treat me a whole lot better than she ever did. I sure dodged a bullet here...and one lady I'm now with has potential...we shall see...

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