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When getting married to your partner..


VioletSummer

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Is it a good idea to look for someone who does have a sexual past? I've heard quite a few stories about women who have gotten married with little to no experience then in their mid-thirties or earlier have decided to go off and see what it's like to sleep with other men.

 

Thoughts on this? As me and my partner were discussing getting engaged later this year.

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man_in_the_box

It's not really possible to draw conclusions from an observation that takes so little things into account. Yes it's a risk but who says people with a sexual past are not going to miss their pre-commitment life? The knife can cut on both edges and it depends on the individual whether it will or not.

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Is it a good idea to look for someone who does have a sexual past? I've heard quite a few stories about women who have gotten married with little to no experience then in their mid-thirties or earlier have decided to go off and see what it's like to sleep with other men.

 

Thoughts on this? As me and my partner were discussing getting engaged later this year.

Umm...if that's a primary question then i suggest you don't get married at all. You are clearly not mature enough.

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If you're thinking about it now, you will be analyzing it to death later. Over and over again. And wondering. And you'll both stray. Not even close to mature enough to consider marriage.

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Mid 30s? I could see that happening early-mid 20s but not mid 30s. and yes I would imagine that's why most relationships end in the early 20s, people want to experience other people...I mean "find themselves" :laugh:

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There is some truth to this, yes. My husband and I have never been with anyone else and I admit sometimes I wonder what it's like to date or what intimacy is like for different people. I never believed it when my dad said I should have other experiences first, but it makes more sense now. As long as you are happy with the person you are with. But if you find yourself wondering, don't get married yet.

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Some thoughts

 

Some of the longest, deepest marriages I have seen have been ones where the couple married very young, with limited or no previous partners.

 

The argument to see whats out there, have other experiences, can also lead to other stories I have heard where the person has enough sexual partners that it becomes statistically unlikely their married partner will ever be the best in all sexual areas for them. They don't just wonder if their are better experiences out there - they know there are. They have settled or compromised in some way or area of sex - and both know it.

 

But as I have posted before - this sounds judgmental. Most posts here about sexual pasts tend to be judgemental. I don't think it is important the past sexual activities so much as marrying or being with someone who shares your beliefs on sex, love and relationships. What do you believe sex and sexuality should be within a loving marriage - then marry someone who believes the same thing. Frankly - its going to take a lot of work and commitment to maintain a fun healthy sex life over decades and you better be with someone willing to make the effort.

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