strongnrelaxed Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 When you read around this site, what patterns do you notice about the numerous men who experience problems early in their marriages? Do these posts have any effect on your thoughts regarding the decision to get married? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 From my readings, and life experiences listening to such MW's, such issues have been, overwhelmingly, a result of two major dynamics: 1. One or both partners masking aspects of who they are. 2. One or both partners 'thinking' the relationship, instead of 'feeling' it. I learned about the former from my exW, who spoke a lot of 'masking' and personality styles while we were dating and early in our M. The latter I learned about in MC as our psychologist delved into the nuts and bolts of our relationship. It put clarity to a lot of what I had heard over the decades from MW's. Such is why, if I were considering M again, and likely I will be, PMC will be a requirement. MC was a rewarding and educational experience. It highlighted my own weaknesses as well as those of my spouse. Had their been more love to fuel the process, we might have made it. As it was, it taught lessons for the future, and in life. LS has provided a wide range of potentials to consider so, in that aspect, I've found it to be a valuable resource. My base style is M-centric so the negatives don't deter me personally, though I recognize how they might deter others. We all have our own paths in life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongnrelaxed Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Carhill, do you mean that you are marriage centric, or monogamous relationship oriented? These are two different things? Why the need for a marriage contract? Link to post Share on other sites
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