red-rose-in-winter Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 My cousin just got married last weekend, and she encountered a kind of difficult situation when it came to the who is to walk who down the aisle in the wedding ceremony, and who to include in the ceremony. Ok, here's the situation. The groom's father is re-married. The bride really didn't know the groom's stepmom that well. The groom's father was the best man in the ceremony. Of course the groom's mother was escorted down the aisle by an usher before the ceremony, but the stepmom wasn't. At the rehearsal the night before the wedding, the stepmom took my cousin aside and asked her why she wasn't included in the ceremony. My cousin really didn't know what to say!!! Since she had only met the stepmom maybe three times in her life, my cousin felt that she didn't know the stepmom well enough. The stepmom went on to say that she felt like she should be shown the same respect and be escorted down the aisle just like the mother of the groom. My cousin and her husband agreed (relunctantly) to include her in the ceremony. But the day of the wedding, the stepmom called the groom and told him to just leave things as they were before. So when it comes to in-laws, stepmoms, etc....do you include them in the wedding or not? My cousin feels like she did nothing wrong by not including the stepmom. They were not close, and she had only been around her maybe three times in her life!!! Any comments? Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 It depends on how close the step parent is to the bride/groom. In the case you described the step parent had no role in parenting and this ceremony is for the bride/groom & their parents. However, it would be nice to include a step-parent in the ceremony as a way to welcome them into the family and a gesture of respect to the parent and their new spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
roseshavethornstoo Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 In response to your question, I believe your cousin should have acknowledged the step mom unless she or her fiancee' didn't get along with the woman. My mom has remarried and her husband and I are archenemies. That's the only reason he will not be included in my wedding. Otherwise it's disrespectable not to. She should have asked if she wanted to be included. That's why she said to keep things as they were. I can't blame her she must've felt she was inviting herself. This started things off on the wrong foot plus it prob. insulted and hurt the father/husband. I certainly hope your cousins tries to explain the situation to the mother-in-law. Link to post Share on other sites
Author red-rose-in-winter Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 The groom really doesn't get along with the stepmom at all. But I can see the stepmom's point of view, but on the other hand, I can see the bride and groom's point of view too. When it comes to weddings, things can get pretty sticky. Link to post Share on other sites
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