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why is he acting this way?!?!


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:mad: my b/f and i have been together for almost three years, and engaged for six months. he starts acting weird sometimes towards me, like once a week or so. but, today he told me that he hates me and that he cannot stand me, and that he absolutely means it and will not take it back. i am so upset, because this is the guy who wants(wanted?) to marry me and loves me. we were in a huge fight because today was my first night off in a long time and he laid in bed at his mom's house all night long, but still claims that he misses me so much, and then didn't even come to see me! what do i do? i don't want to forgive him for what he said, but i love him. :(:mad:
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jessicakicksbut

That doesn't sound like a guy that is supposed to love you, and eventually marry you. Even if he has deep rooted psychological problems, that is just down right mean. If I were you, I'd deeply reconsider having a relationship with him, let alone getting married to him. If he treats you this way now, who's saying he won't treat you ten times worse once you get married.

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yeah, but who says he won't treat me better, once we live together and spend more time together?!! and what will i do if he does treat me bad once we are out on our own? you would think it would make things better?!?! but i don't know. i'm really confused. he called me this morning and said he was sorry for being mean. i told him last night not to call me this morning though, and he did anyway. he says he's sorry and that he didn't mean it, and i told him last night, before he said that he hated me, not to say things he didn't really mean. so, i'm really confused and all?!?!

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OK. Be strong and upfront with this guy. Forgive him and accept his apologies. Sit him down and have a heart to heart talk. Tell him that if he EVER treats you like that again or says that he hates you, tell him that you WILL LEAVE him for good...no second chances. He needs to have you put him in his place. Just because you are engaged does not mean that you will stick with him no matter what and put up with his crap.

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Just be careful you don't enable his behavior by always accepting it without consequences.

 

It is not okay to hurt you repeatedly, each time apologizing and expecting everything to be okay. Apology is a way of asking for forgiveness, the forgiveness when and where are up to you.

 

See if you can get to the bottom is his behavior.

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ThisGirlNameKD

One of the biggest misconceptions about marriage is thinking that people, or things will change for the better once you get married. However things are before you get married, is the way it's going to be after you get married. Your fiance sounds verbally abusive. And he may have never said anything like that to you before, but his weird behavior is becoming more frequent and that's a sign of an emotional or mental problem that he's probably been concealing for awhile. Sometimes when people date those that eventually become abusive in a marriage, there were very little signs or no signs in the beginning of the relationship, but as the relationship goes on, it comes out to the fore.

 

Unless he receives some type of counseling, trust me, he's going to do it again, and verbal abuse can become physical abuse. Married life is going to have his ups and down, and if he doesn't start learning how to deal with the down side of life, the bad side of life, and the stressful times, you're going to have serious problems in your marriage, and no matter how much you love him now, you have to think about your emotional and mental health and if being with him will damage you.

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Girl, noone deserves to be talked to like that. And trust me, that will NOT change when you get married. If anything, it will get worse. He sounds like the type that could even come to the point of hitting you or emotionally abusing you. Get your self outta there ASAP! Find someone who will treat you like a princess...every one deserves that. Don't settle for less than perfect.

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