Jump to content

What you give up


Recommended Posts

How do those of you who are planning on getting married come to terms with the things you give up as a result of being in a partnership with someone?

 

I ask because I saw an amazing job offer the other day: it's exactly what I'm interested in, I'm qualified, the pay is excellent, and I would get to live in Switzerland. I can't take it because I have an academic commitment for the next four to five years, but I have been thinking about it because it was an excellent opportunity and the kind of thing that would be really hard to turn down in the future.

 

But - I feel like by getting married, I foreclose that sort of possibility. My SO has her own career and would not want to move overseas. I mentioned this job casually to her, just saying how it sounded really interesting, and when I said Switzerland she kind of made a face at me.

 

In four or five years, however, when I am on the job market, if something like that comes up, I think I would be really resentful of having to pass it up. Which makes me think of the freedom you have as a single person (assuming you have the means) to pick up and go wherever you want.

 

Do others feel that way?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Marriage is all about compromise. Sometimes you have to compromise on big things like this.

 

You should have a serious discussion with your fiance about your career goals and where you want to go in life. You're giving your fiance 4-5 years so she can finish school, maybe she can give you a few years in Switzerland.

 

You need to do what's best for BOTH of you as a couple, not what's best for you or what's best for her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...