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How do I get my boyfriend to marry me?


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Old 23rd April 2002, 1:55 AM   #1
Lizzy101
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How do I get my boyfriend to marry me?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and I really want to get married to him. He reasons that we have plenty of time so why should we do it now? Well, we do have plenty of time, but why do it later just because we can? I don't want to force him into marriage, I just think he needs a little push.
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Old 23rd April 2002, 2:03 AM   #2
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Re: How do I get my boyfriend to marry me?

Well, I don't recommend you getting pregnant...especially if you're dating a guy like Robert Blake.

You really can't force somebody to marry you. You can be kind and be yourself but you can't force another person to the altar and you really don't want to.

If your guy doesn't ask you to marry him in a reasonable amount of time, tell him you obviously have differing agendas and while you love him you want marriage in your life...and you must find a like-minded partner. Chances are excellent that will motivate him more than anything else you could do.
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Old 23rd April 2002, 5:12 AM   #3
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Re: How do I get my boyfriend to marry me?

Tony's advice is spot-on (as usual), and I don't really need to add anything. I must, however, question why some women today are still obsessed with marriage? Unless you're a Christian, and need this validation to have sex with your partner, I just don't see why some women still need to go through this rite of passage? If you don't feel secure in your relationship until your partner signs a matrimonial contract, then there is something wrong.
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Old 23rd April 2002, 2:32 PM   #4
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Re: How do I get my boyfriend to marry me?

How old are you and your boyfriend?

What's the rush? Please tell me you are not living with him.
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Old 24th April 2002, 1:45 AM   #5
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Re: How do I get my boyfriend to marry me?

I was with a girl for over 2 years, she wanted me to get married also. Then she cheated on me, reality check..... bye bye.

If he has a problem with this, then something must not be right! You had better think about this seriously!
Quote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and I really want to get married to him. He reasons that we have plenty of time so why should we do it now? Well, we do have plenty of time, but why do it later just because we can? I don't want to force him into marriage, I just think he needs a little push.
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Old 16th December 2002, 1:20 PM   #6
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My advice..

....a road trip to Vegas...and plenty of liquor. Marriage normally comes out of that mix.
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Old 16th December 2002, 1:37 PM   #7
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Re: Re: How do I get my boyfriend to marry me?

Quote:
Originally posted by Jackie
Tony's advice is spot-on (as usual), and I don't really need to add anything. I must, however, question why some women today are still obsessed with marriage? Unless you're a Christian, and need this validation to have sex with your partner, I just don't see why some women still need to go through this rite of passage? If you don't feel secure in your relationship until your partner signs a matrimonial contract, then there is something wrong.
No, there is nothing wrong and marriage is not just for Christians nor is it about sex. And it's not just women that want marriage - men do too. It has nothing to do with feeling secure, although you have to be extremely secure in the relationship to get married.

I can't explain it all here -- it would take pages and pages to say it. Part of it is about making a statement to friends, family, and strangers that you have made a commitment to a person. But that is just a small part. I couldn't imagine NOT being married to my husband or not being his wife. It's a whole different realm of emotion and understanding and commitment - although with divorce as easy and prevalent as it is nowadays, the commitment part for some doesn't mean anything. Marriage is not for everyone and if someone doesn't understand the basics of what marriage is about then I don't think they should get married.
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Old 16th December 2002, 4:44 PM   #8
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checklist

there are also the people who view marriage as a checklist of sorts: "go to college, check, meet someone, check, marry, check, have kids, check, buy a house, check ...", so it's something like an acquisition or a social wishlist, is how I see it.

Why do you need to be married so badly? Because you've been together so long? Because you want legal validation of your feelings for this person? So you can finally have sex with him (though, in this day and age, I don't buy that)? You need to figure out why this is so important, then figure out why your guy feels secure with what you've got that he's willing to wait a bit longer. Are you afraid of losing him that you're willing to tie the knot just to keep him?
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Old 16th December 2002, 9:50 PM   #9
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Ever thought of taking him to dinner and getting down on one knee?
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Old 17th December 2002, 1:18 AM   #10
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I would have to say that marrage isnt JUST for Christians..... if it were , than why would NON Christians be married? Good Question Eh?
Some guys just arent ready..... some are just waiting around for something better to come along... some are 'AFRAID' to fully commit, and some actually dont believe in it.... I myself am not married... although I wish to be, and had the dream since a little girl... I havent been asked yet, Ive been with the same guy for 7 yrs.... half of those years were pretty bad, but Im not gonna go into detail... but I will say this... IM GLAD we werent married then..... its harder to get away! I was with another guy for 7 yrs.. and I AM SO GLAD I never married him..... because the last time we actually exchanged words he dented the cartalidge in my nose by punching me. wich was the first hit and the last !

Peace :0)
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Old 14th January 2003, 8:09 PM   #11
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Question

i am 16 and when i turn 17 my b/f will be 18..what states will let me and him get married without a parents conscent?
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Old 14th January 2003, 8:57 PM   #12
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Exclamation Whoa, whoa. Hold the (expletive) up there.

Quote:
Originally posted by SoFlyAngel
i am 16 and when i turn 17 my b/f will be 18..what states will let me and him get married without a parents conscent?
Read the title. Hold up. Stop. Put the brakes on. NOW.

If you try to give him that "little push" - you'll push him right away. 17 and 18 is way too young to get married. I know there's some folk who can make it work, but I think you'd better stop now.

People change. You two need to know yourself before you can know each other. Do you truly know yourself? And even if you know yourself now - do you know yourself in five years, after college?

Stop. By all means, continue dating. But don't get married, engaged, or anything. And do not pressure the poor guy.

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Old 14th January 2003, 9:27 PM   #13
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my guy asked me and i dont care what anyone says we are getting married..we have been together for 5 years and b cuz of home situations we have to
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Old 14th January 2003, 11:19 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by SoFlyAngel
my guy asked me and i dont care what anyone says we are getting married..we have been together for 5 years and b cuz of home situations we have to
Why do you "have to" get married? There must be more to this story. Especially the fact that you've been together for 5 years, when a few posts ago you'd only been together for two. Either you're blowing smoke up my arse, or you're a 4th-dimensional being.

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Old 15th January 2003, 12:34 PM   #15
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aarrggghhhh

what is it with people thinking that getting married or getting pregrnant (especially at such a young age) is going to solve all their problemss.

marriage is a big commitment, whether you've been with someone a year or for five years -- as master chief points out, people change. I can't tell you how many friends of mine or of my family got married at 18, thinking this was the prize for going steady with the same guy all throughout high school, and ended up divorced. Some after a couple of years, some after a couple of kids and several years. My guess is that one or both parties grew up and because of change, the relationship wasn't strong enough to survive those changes.

for pete's sake, give yourself a chance to find out who you are -- don't drag an unwilling spouse into the question, or a worse, a defenseless baby. Many of us haven't reached a level of maturity at 17 that is needed to make a marriage or parenthood work smoothly, although there are a few rare individuals who have.

things going bad at home is not a reason to rush into a marriage (or parenthood) because whatever problems you had there are going to follow you, especially if your expectations are unrealistic.
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