Melissa Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 I was wondering if someone was able to give me a few pointers. On the weekend, we had a fairly large argument that started from him drinking too much. Now, today, I just want to put that little spark back in the relationship. So when he walks past me, he smiles, or kisses me. Does anyone know what i mean? Link to post Share on other sites
ok Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 which is it? If the problem is arguning, then find a way to discuss things to resolve conflict without argument. If the problem is alcohol, that has to be addressed. I know one thing, there is no arguing with a drunk! Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 People who drink, are not interested in being kinky or sweet. He needs to lay off the sauce to give you loving. I was wondering if someone was able to give me a few pointers. On the weekend, we had a fairly large argument that started from him drinking too much. Now, today, I just want to put that little spark back in the relationship. So when he walks past me, he smiles, or kisses me. Does anyone know what i mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 Postpone your engagement until he goes a period of time without overdrinking and arguing as a result. You don't want to live with this sort of thing in a marriage. Did the drinking remove the spark in your relationship? And, no, I have no idea what you mean at the end of your post. Try to explain in more detail. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Melissa Posted April 9, 2002 Author Share Posted April 9, 2002 I do beleive that the drinking did remove the spark a bit, just because I'm sometimes scared of what he will do. We had a big talk about this on the weekend, but i just feel like there is something that i should do. To push him on a bit. Postpone your engagement until he goes a period of time without overdrinking and arguing as a result. You don't want to live with this sort of thing in a marriage. Did the drinking remove the spark in your relationship? And, no, I have no idea what you mean at the end of your post. Try to explain in more detail. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 If he cared about you and the r/s he would admit he needs to change a few things. Getting him to do that may not be easy. It takes a calm discussion from you, and his ability to understand what hes doing, reasoning, and than the act of doing something about it. I do beleive that the drinking did remove the spark a bit, just because I'm sometimes scared of what he will do. We had a big talk about this on the weekend, but i just feel like there is something that i should do. To push him on a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 If you want to push him, walk away and don't answer your phone for about three days. Maybe that'll snap him back into realityland. I do beleive that the drinking did remove the spark a bit, just because I'm sometimes scared of what he will do. We had a big talk about this on the weekend, but i just feel like there is something that i should do. To push him on a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Melissa Posted April 9, 2002 Author Share Posted April 9, 2002 I beleive that leaving would be a very rash decision, as I own the house too. I am still very young at the moment, but I honestly beleive in my heart that its all from pressure from work, family etc. would anyone suggest getting away for a weekend? Or blatently sitting down face to face and telling him exactly what it is that needs to happen. (By the way, thankyou for the support) If he cared about you and the r/s he would admit he needs to change a few things. Getting him to do that may not be easy. It takes a calm discussion from you, and his ability to understand what hes doing, reasoning, and than the act of doing something about it. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 9, 2002 Share Posted April 9, 2002 Men respond to actions (in my experience), which is why I suggested leaving. You didn't say you lived together. That changes a lot of things and your "power" in the relationship. Plan a weekend (or long weekend) away with your friends ASAP. Do not ask for his permission. Just plan it and tell him you are going. You are not married yet, so it is your decision if you want to take off for a weekend. While you are gone, do not call him at all. Let him think you are having blast (which you will be!) and give him time to miss you. Guys tend to need their space, and letting him miss you may bring back some of the spark you are seeking. If you sit down with him and start making demands and throwing down ultimatums, you risk sounding whiny. I'd suggest trying the weekend away first. I beleive that leaving would be a very rash decision, as I own the house too. I am still very young at the moment, but I honestly beleive in my heart that its all from pressure from work, family etc. would anyone suggest getting away for a weekend? Or blatently sitting down face to face and telling him exactly what it is that needs to happen. (By the way, thankyou for the support) Link to post Share on other sites
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