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Saw the object of my desire with her new man...


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She told me that she was seeing this new guy already. But still knowing and actually seeing it in front or your face is totally different. She saw me and just texted me :(:(:( Stupid sad faces. I felt really a combination of heartache, rage, jealousy, and really as if someone racked me in the balls. So I left the club we were at. She calls me repeatedly the next morning but I don't answer. She then texts me that she is really sad that I am choosing to ignore her now. My question, should I make it obvious that it hurts me(I guess I have already) or should I portray that I'm blowing the situation off like its no big deal? Bottom line in this case is that I am going to weed my way out of our relationship. I've tried before but I was sucked back in. I honestly can't take it but it is so hard to imagine her not in my life anymore. But going to lose my mind if things stay the same.

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I think you need some distance from this situation.

 

She doesn't seem to have the same feelings for you that you have for her. Therefor, I don't see the two of you maintaining contact at this time.

 

It will continue to be painful for both of you; she will feel guilty and you will feel unsatisfied.

 

Maybe text her and say, "Look, I want the best for you and hope you're happy in your new relationship. Right now, I just need some time for myself. I'm not dissing you, just taking the space required to sort my head out."

 

Don't elaborate beyond that.

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Tell her to stop contacting you and do not answer any of her texts. You need to distance yourself so the hurt can lessen and her guilt over your breakup is of no help to you. Time to think of you and don't get sucked back in to a situation that is not going to work for you.

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Thanks for the replies. I know what I have to do. I really do but it is easier said than done but I have to in order to stay sane. That sounds like such a cliche but it is the truth. Got to find the strength somehow. Damn, love is hell.

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It seems she is adding insult to injury. I think she wants you to whine and beg some. I would not give her the pleasure.

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It will continue to be painful for both of you; she will feel guilty and you will feel unsatisfied.

.

 

 

I don't know why I feel this way and I know I shouldn't. But why do I want her to feel guilty? Isn't that totally horrible of me? I mean, I'm always going to feel unsatisfied without her. I love her to death. There is no doubt in my heart. But I feel I am lying to myself when I say I just want her to be happy. No...I want her to be happy with me, not some other womanizing loser like the one she has now. Its as if I want all her future relationships to fail. That is probably horrible of me. Just mindless thoughts mixed in with heartache and anger I guess.

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This situation is the pits. Really. It sucks that has happened to you. It's happening to me too.

 

Six months ago, I would have told you to get rid of her, no contact, throw yourself into work/a project and go out, find someone that deserves you. It shouldn't be this hard.

 

It's exactly what you should do. But I now know how much easier it is said than done. This is so f**king painful. It's so unfair.

 

I think no contact is the only way out, despite how painful it is. You will miss her for a while, then you will get really mad at her (easier to deal with) and then someone else worthwhile will make you forget her altogether.

 

Hope things get better for you.

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Just an update...not that anyone cares but I haven't spoken to this girl for a mere three days and I feel like I'm starting to crack already. Wtf, this sucks bigtime. Need words of encouragement I guess

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girl you like dates another guy? STRIKE HER OFF YOUR LIST. obviously she chose him over you and does not feel the same way. ignore her... who knows, they could be having furious sex right now. girls are like that.

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I know you think these feelings for her will never go away.....but they will!

 

You need to stop 'picking at the wound' so to speak.

 

Things will change with time. You will meet someone else and move on. What a great feeling that will be for you! To realize that your heart can heal and you can have new feelings for a new person!

 

We can all change and grow strong if we allow ourselves to.

 

But that means for now, you have to withstand some discomfort -- keep up with the no-contact plan. It's really what you need right now.

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