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What are his true intentions?

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 2nd March 2018, 12:06 AM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2016
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Unhappy What are his true intentions?

Me and this guy I met at work hit it off quite well we were good friends and he started talking about me often with all the coworkers and managers on how pretty and nice I was. I eventually came to find out he had feelings for me and really liked me but I at the time wasnít so sure I felt the same but weíd still talk on the phone and text and for the longest he was super sweet and tried to get my attention and said he wanted to make me happy. Hes been cheated on in his past relationship as have I and that has scarred him and made him very insecure. Heís very different ,he respects women so much and heís so genuine i eventually fell for him too. I got drunk one night and told him what i felt for him and he had told me he kind of already knew. Anyway I tried to push myself away from him because i didnít want to have feelings for him but he kept messaging me apologizing asking what he had done wrong and he didnít understand why i was being so dry. I explained to him and he began to say how he wasnít ready for a relationship that he really does like me but isnít ready for a relationship and that heís scared and hurt. He says heís too scared to trust someone again but then goes on on why he wants to make me happy that because heís seen the hurt iíve been through and wanted to be the change that could make me happy.He said he doesnít talk to any girls the way he talks to me and he doesnít plan to. Iím just confused and starting to question if he really likes me or what ? iím just so confused I thought heíd be happy I felt the same way about him. Iím so confused. Someone please help, I donít want to waste my time.
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Old 2nd March 2018, 12:24 AM   #2
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Its never a good idea to date someone you work with.

Move on...

All of my posts are my opinion based on my own experiences. Feel Free to disagree with me, this rodent has thick skin.
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Old 2nd March 2018, 5:48 AM   #3
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Especially since you confessed your feelings to him -- essentially giving him a green light to ask you out, the fact that he didn't tells me you ought to believe him when he says he's not ready for a relationship. Even if he did date you, he will probably allow his insecurities to override common sense & he'll smother you, because he will be punishing you for whatever indiscretions his EX committed. He's just not a good candidate so stop pinning all your dating hopes on him.

Furthermore, dating a co-worker is generally a bad idea. What happens when you break up & still have to work together?
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:12 PM   #4
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I have found that some men still like a female presence in their lives when they are in between relationships. For some reason(s), he doesn't see you as girlfriend/wife material, but there are some things he likes about you-- maybe your support, sense of humor, etc. I think that if you persue this, you'll end up heartbroken because he will sooner or later meet someone he's truly interested in.
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