Jump to content

My new friend gets mad if I don’t invite her to every single thing that I do?!


Recommended Posts

This past September I moved back to my hometown and have been trying to establish a social life. I have one friend that I hangout with pretty frequently and I met her shortly after I moved back. Last month I went to a show by myself and she got mad because I didn’t invite her! We literally hangout all the time, I’m not sure why I’m expected to invite her to everything that I do. It makes me feel like I’m suffocated! Like today for example, she texted me asking if I wanted to go to trivia tomorrow but I already committed to going to a different trivia and now I’m anxious at the thought of telling her.

 

I recently met a new group of girls who invited me to a masquerade party and I just want to go with them, I don’t feel like I should have to invite her but I know that if I don’t she’ll be mad. I don’t want us to be some sort of “package deal”, we’re each our own person. I invite her to things all the time but don’t find it necessary to invite her to everything. Am I in the wrong?

Link to post
Share on other sites

You're not wrong. Independence is healthy.

 

She may get mad enough to opt out of your life but that will be her choice.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You're not wrong. Independence is healthy.

 

She may get mad enough to opt out of your life but that will be her choice.

 

How should I respond to her asking me to go to trivia tomorrow? I got invited to go to another one and I really want to go to this by myself. I don’t want to sound mean but I’ve been predominantly hanging out with her and I’m still new to town and trying to make connections.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You're going to have to have the talk with her. Tell her you like spending some time on your own and some with other friends and that you really don't like the thought of being obligated to always invite anyone along to everything because you're a free agent. She sounds like a jealous lover.

 

Also, do not tell her details or make excuses. Just say "I have other plans. I'm busy that night." Get her off the phone if she keeps trying to pry. She doesn't need to know what it's about just so she can invite herself along. It's not normal for another friend to invite you and be okay that you drag her along. And do NOT tell her who you're going with or where or she'll just show up or contact them and try to get invited. In fact, if she starts hinting, tell her, "I want to spend time alone with this friend and she only invited me, and that's good because that's what I wanted." Own it. Let her know you have some boundaries.

Edited by preraph
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You're going to have to have the talk with her. Tell her you like spending some time on your own and some with other friends and that you really don't like the thought of being obligated to always invite anyone along to everything because you're a free agent. She sounds like a jealous lover.

 

Also, do not tell her details or make excuses. Just say "I have other plans. I'm busy that night." Get her off the phone if she keeps trying to pry. She doesn't need to know what it's about just so she can invite herself along. It's not normal for another friend to invite you and be okay that you drag her along. And do NOT tell her who you're going with or where or she'll just show up or contact them and try to get invited. In fact, if she starts hinting, tell her, "I want to spend time alone with this friend and she only invited me, and that's good because that's what I wanted." Own it. Let her know you have some boundaries.

thanks! I shall see how things play out this weekend. Definitely taking your advice!
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...