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whats he doing

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 11th February 2018, 11:26 AM   #1
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whats he doing

hi i'm in a casual relationship

we have been friends 3 years, dated for 5 months ghosted me after i found out he was engaged than came back to me 3 months later

now need some advice here
i think hes been drifting away we not seen each other since first week of January

on around 25th January due to no communication i said to him if you don't want do this any more than that's fine we can both move on he fed me excuses saying he don't want it to end and still wants me in his life,

he was coming see me last week made excuse got caught up etc so he texts me text day saying please forgive me of course silly me i did

anyway i decided i'm not going be one initiate any contact, its been 9 days days and not received one text off him to be fair i did think this would make him contact me

so whats he doing, has he ghosted me again even though gave him option of ending it, have i done right thing not texting him its hard not too as hes my best friend too
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Old 11th February 2018, 1:32 PM   #2
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He's either got back together with his fiancé (perhaps they never broke up) or he's got a new girl. You are his back up girl, the one he comes to when he's got nobody else or when he has problems in his primary relationship.

Not sure why you took him back the first time but you definitely shouldn't ever take him back again.
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Old 11th February 2018, 1:34 PM   #3
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He is not your best friend. Best friends don't deceive or use you.
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Old 11th February 2018, 3:02 PM   #4
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A better question is "what are you doing?". This hookup clearly isn't meeting your needs, yet you hand the "stay or go" decision to him.

Be the boss of your own life. If it's not working, then you be the one to make the decisions.
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Old 10th March 2018, 11:19 AM   #5
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Why are you wasting your time on someone else's fiancee? He is more than likely back with her. He doesn't want to turn down free, no strings attached sex but I'm sure after he's finished the guilt sets in and he's running back to her. He's pulling back from you because he's in love with her and wants to be true. This is a dead end for you.
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Old 11th March 2018, 3:40 AM   #6
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There is no relationship if he's engaged to someone else. He's probably trying to find a way to have his cake and eat it too without her finding out, so you're left with the crumbs.
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Old 11th March 2018, 5:22 AM   #7
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In the words of Mark Twain ""Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

He keeps coming back because you allow him too, and will continue to do so when it suits him. Even in a FWB situation he is being dishonest, and rude. He doesn't want to end it. He isn't a fool. He has you, waiting for him, as he goes on about his life. Even if he were to get married, you have been so respectful of his space, and privacy, and stayed out of the personal life, that he'd probably find a way to keep you around. If he worth the hassle?

Unless you're content being a random side piece, at his convenience, it might be in your best interest to move on with your life. Even if all you want is a casual relationship, you can do better!
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Old 11th March 2018, 6:54 AM   #8
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He's engaged - not to you.

Find your own - engagement.

To understand his behaviour better; he's acting unfaithful, to his fiancée.

That's why your confused. Because your the third wheel, in limbo land.
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Old 11th March 2018, 3:17 PM   #9
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You're hoping for commitment from someone for whom commitment to one woman isn't his goal. You have to realize there's plenty of guys out there whose goal isn't find one right woman and marry but to get as many as possible content with no commitment and just bounce between them. I'm sorry this is the best friend you have. He doesn't care about your feelings and you need a better best friend.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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