hildagnome Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 About a year ago I told one of my best friends I wanted to be more than friends. He didn't shut me down completely but told me was not sure but thought he just wanted to be friends and saw our relationship as a 'really good friendship' but he needed time to be sure. I knew this was his way of trying to shut me down kindly so said nothing more. We then kind of stopped talking. It took me a very long time to get over it as I was grieving for the loss of someone so close to me but my way of getting over him was staying away. During this time he kept in touch, sending me messages just letting me know he was thinking of me. I gradually got over him and now genuinely don't see him romantically anymore. I have started seeing a great guy who I am incredibly attracted to and we are having a lot of fun. Because of this and that I have got over him, I recently felt that my friend and me could be friends again so I sent him a message just 'yo how's life' kind of thing. He replied and mentioned we should meet up. He has done this in the last year but I have alway shut him down as I did not want to see him, but because I am in a good place now I jumped at the chance and pinned him down for a date. In that couple of weeks before we met up we messaged as we used to - like five six times a day, just like our friendship was before. We met at our favourite bar that we always used to hang at. It was just like old times. I made sure not to mention that awkward conversation and it was like nothing happened. This is what I thought he wanted as he had always just wanted to be friends. During the evening I hinted I was seeing someone I felt it inappropriate to say it explicitly. I also acted like I used when we were genuinely just friends with no complications, that we were good buddies. After the evening I thought our friendship was back on track as after the initial awkward 5 minutes it was 100% just like our old hang outs. But something weird has happened now. He is 100% ignoring me now. He's not messaging, even though I see him online on whatsapp. It's like I'm dead to him. I just don't understand it. He wanted to be friends and all his messages over the year indicated this that's what he has now got. So I just don't understand why he is sulking. I know this is what he is doing because I know him well enough that that his is how he behaves when something does not go his way. But this evening DID go his way. He wanted to be friends and I gave this to him with 0 awkwardness. I am so confused right now. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 Hon, contacting each other 5 or 6 times a day is more than 'friendship'. Do you speak to your best female friends this often every day? It's also a level of contact which is disrespectful to your boyfriend. My guess is that this guy also felt it was too much or somewhat overwhelming and has backed away. Perhaps the kind of friendship where you catch up at gatherings of your friends would have been both more appropriate for your relationship and less overwhelming for your friend. Either that, or he's seeing someone and knows that the level of contact and 1:1 hangouts with you are disrespectful to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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