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HopelessNick

I like this girl and I think she knows. We live in a dorm and she’s my neighbor.

 

I’ve had good chats with her out at the pub and I really felt she enjoyed talking to me.

 

One night I messaged her “Did you get back safely hun? Just making sure.” She replied the next morning “I did! Thanks for checking up on me.”

One time, she came in my room asking how she looked and used my mirror for a bit.

 

One night, I told her that I've knocked on her door a couple of times for a chat and she told me to message her if there’s no answer.

I messaged her one night. “Feel like company for a bit?” She replied in the morning, “Sorry Nick. I was fast asleep when you sent this.” I know she was asleep.

 

I messaged her one night asking what she's up to. She said she got back from work and was chilling in her friends room. I asked her to come chat if she wanted to. She ended up coming for a second, but not sure if she did because she saw my fb message. She said "Hey. I'm exhausted. Fell asleep in my friend's room. What are you doing for the weekend." I said Dunno. There's no more football. It's gonna be horrible". She said "yeah. Nothing on tv too. I'm going home tomorrow, but back Sunday." We just said night.

 

One time I saw her as she was going in her room. We had a good 5 min social chat. During the talk, she either used her hand to keep her door open or me using my foot. She didn't smile, but did make eye contact. I put my hand against the wall to lean on and her eyes opened wider a little for a second at that exact moment.

 

What do you make of her eyes getting bigger? She hasn't given me an indication she wants me to back off has she? Is this situation looking bad? Should I stop trying and why?

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I like this girl and I think she knows. We live in a dorm and she’s my neighbor.

 

I’ve had good chats with her out at the pub and I really felt she enjoyed talking to me.

 

One night I messaged her “Did you get back safely hun? Just making sure.” She replied the next morning “I did! Thanks for checking up on me.”

One time, she came in my room asking how she looked and used my mirror for a bit.

 

One night, I told her that I've knocked on her door a couple of times for a chat and she told me to message her if there’s no answer.

I messaged her one night. “Feel like company for a bit?” She replied in the morning, “Sorry Nick. I was fast asleep when you sent this.” I know she was asleep.

 

I messaged her one night asking what she's up to. She said she got back from work and was chilling in her friends room. I asked her to come chat if she wanted to. She ended up coming for a second, but not sure if she did because she saw my fb message. She said "Hey. I'm exhausted. Fell asleep in my friend's room. What are you doing for the weekend." I said Dunno. There's no more football. It's gonna be horrible". She said "yeah. Nothing on tv too. I'm going home tomorrow, but back Sunday." We just said night.

 

One time I saw her as she was going in her room. We had a good 5 min social chat. During the talk, she either used her hand to keep her door open or me using my foot. She didn't smile, but did make eye contact. I put my hand against the wall to lean on and her eyes opened wider a little for a second at that exact moment.

 

What do you make of her eyes getting bigger? She hasn't given me an indication she wants me to back off has she? Is this situation looking bad? Should I stop trying and why?

 

It sounds like you MIGHT be "just a friend."

 

You have to touch her. Small of her back, shoulder, something. Do you guys greet each other with hugs/high fives?

 

Also, making yourself attainable is good (I play way too hard to get, which is my downfall), but making yourself TOO available? Not so much. Once in a while when she messages you or asks to come over, you have to be unavailable.

 

One last thing, ASK HER OUT ALREADY DAMMIT!

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HopelessNick
It sounds like you MIGHT be "just a friend."

 

You have to touch her. Small of her back, shoulder, something. Do you guys greet each other with hugs/high fives?

 

Also, making yourself attainable is good (I play way too hard to get, which is my downfall), but making yourself TOO available? Not so much. Once in a while when she messages you or asks to come over, you have to be unavailable.

 

One last thing, ASK HER OUT ALREADY DAMMIT!

 

When I put an arm around her shoulder, she seems to be happy when she's drunk, and I've never touched her when sober. And she never messages me.

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One time I saw her as she was going in her room. We had a good 5 min social chat. During the talk, she either used her hand to keep her door open or me using my foot. She didn't smile, but did make eye contact. I put my hand against the wall to lean on and her eyes opened wider a little for a second at that exact moment.

 

What do you make of her eyes getting bigger? She hasn't given me an indication she wants me to back off has she? Is this situation looking bad? Should I stop trying and why?

 

Let me get this right, you put your foot over into the threshold of her door and placed your hand (probably high) on the wall to lean on?

She would have been startled. That was why her eyes got bigger.

That was an intimidating invasion of her space in a not nice way. She was obviously planning on closing that door if your foot touched the door.

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One night, I told her that I've knocked on her door a couple of times for a chat and she told me to message her if there’s no answer.

I messaged her one night. “Feel like company for a bit?” She replied in the morning, “Sorry Nick. I was fast asleep when you sent this.” I know she was asleep.

 

 

You don't know that she was asleep, it kinda sounds like she was avoiding you.

 

Overall, OP I'm not seeing a lot of good signs. She seems like she's avoiding you but has to be nice because you're her neighbor. I imagine once she no longer lives there, you won't hear from her anymore.

 

Please don't start touching her, that's a really bad idea.

 

If you want to know for sure, ask her for a date. If you're not ready for that, ask her to eat with you at the cafeteria or to study with you in the study room. If she says no, leave her alone.

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Let me get this right, you put your foot over into the threshold of her door and placed your hand (probably high) on the wall to lean on?

She would have been startled. That was why her eyes got bigger.

That was an intimidating invasion of her space in a not nice way. She was obviously planning on closing that door if your foot touched the door.

 

She wasn't planning on closing the door. She was obviously pushing it open when it started it close. Also, my hand wasnt high, it was waist height.

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You don't know that she was asleep, it kinda sounds like she was avoiding you.

 

Overall, OP I'm not seeing a lot of good signs. She seems like she's avoiding you but has to be nice because you're her neighbor. I imagine once she no longer lives there, you won't hear from her anymore.

 

Please don't start touching her, that's a really bad idea.

 

If you want to know for sure, ask her for a date. If you're not ready for that, ask her to eat with you at the cafeteria or to study with you in the study room. If she says no, leave her alone.

 

She was asleep. Trust me. All the messages are on fb too so i know if she's been online.

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She wasn't planning on closing the door. She was obviously pushing it open when it started it close. Also, my hand wasnt high, it was waist height.

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She was asleep. Trust me. All the messages are on fb too so i know if she's been online.

 

So, it isn't at all possible that she was texting on her phone, or reading a book/magazine, or painting her toenails etc? You don't know that she was asleep.

 

 

Just ask her to do stuff with you besides hang in your room and you'll have your answer.

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She wasn't planning on closing the door. She was obviously pushing it open when it started it close. Also, my hand wasnt high, it was waist height.

 

Either way, you startled her.

 

I agree with Yosemite, she seems to be keeping you at arms length/avoiding you whilst being polite.

The way to know if she is interested or not for sure is to ask her out.

 

Why would you text her if you knew she was asleep?

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Well, someone doesn't fall dead asleep in 4 minutes flat from being active so you can take it that she chose not to respond at that time.

 

Reading back she responds to night time texts in the morning, either you're texting inappropriately late or she is choosing to only reply in the daytime.

 

I'm thinking you should probably just leave her alone actually and for gawd's sake stop watching her every move online. It's creepy and stalkery.

Get yourself some hobbies instead.

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I saw her at the pub last night. I was sitting down chatting. When she walked past me, I have her a big wave. She took a quick look at me and continued walking while giving me a little wave that wasn't really a wave.

 

I realized she was probably busy because when I looked at where she was going, she was actually comforting a friend. After that, she walked round the back of the bar while looking in my direction for a couple of seconds. There was no expression on her face.

 

Do you think that counts as ignoring me?

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It's college & you live in a dorm. 11 pm is hardly late. Conventional dating "rules" & practices don't apply. College is way less structured. It's more about hanging out & hooking up then deciding if you want to keep doing that.

 

 

I'm not sure how to interpret last night's pub interaction but that is the most negative thing I saw. The rest is just kind of neutral.

 

 

I am disheartened that living on a dorm floor young people today resort to messaging to communicate. Way back in the dark ages, people just kept their doors open & floormates wandered in & out. If the door was closed that meant somebody was studying or changing & to keep out.

 

 

Keep being friendly & see what happens.

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And the one thing i don't get the most is this.

 

"I told her that I've knocked on her door a couple of times for a chat and she told me to message her if there’s no answer."

 

Why would she say that?

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Yes, her being intoxicated makes a difference. Few people behave like their normal selves under the influence.

 

 

Keep chatting with her.

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Why are you scared to talk to her now? All I am suggesting you do is say

 

 

Hi!

 

 

  • How was your day? or
  • What are you dressing up as for Halloween? or
  • Are you ready for exams? or
  • Did you see last night's game?

 

Very low key open ended friendly Qs to start a conversation. Don't push yourself on her but don't be afraid of her either.

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I like this girl and I think she knows. We live in a dorm and she’s my neighbor. We’re acquaintances.

 

She used to be very enthusiastic when she saw me and gave me massive waves or smiles.

 

We also used to have really good chats, like we seemed to enjoy each other's company. It was only at the pub though.

 

However, one night, I messaged her for the first time saying “Did you get back safely hun? Just making sure.” She replied the next morning “I did! Thanks for checking up on me.” I've also asked her to chat a couple of times, and even though she said no, they were perfectly good reasons. Since then, I feel like she's changed. No more enthusiastic greetings. She seems kind of closed off too.

 

Why the sudden change in behaviour since I messaged her for the first time?

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I'm scared because I have a feeling she doesn't want to talk to me and I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

 

She used to be very enthusiastic when she saw me and gave me massive waves or smiles. We also used to have really good chats, like we seemed to enjoy each other's company.

 

But since I messaged her for the first time, I feel like her behaviour changed. Like, I don't get those waves or smiles anymore.

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Just use the conversation starters I gave you when you see her in person. Stop psyching yourself out.

 

 

I suspect that she may be pulling back because you haven't made a move & now she thinks you don't like her. Go back to being friendly & see what happens.

 

 

Throw a floor party -- even if it's just to pig out on junk food -- & invite her along with lots of other friends. See how she reacts.

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There isn't really a method to the madness, in this case. There could be a multitude of reasons why she seems closed off. Maybe she realized she wasn't interested, maybe there were some personal things that put her in an off mood.

 

Leave it alone. I know its hard if you like the person, but if things get sorted with her and she's genuinely interested, she will contact you after some time.

 

Good luck.

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