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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 12th October 2017, 3:13 AM   #31
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Like, I don't even care if she interested or not. I really like her and I really want to be her friend and chat because she's been so good to me before all this happened, but I feel like I can't even do that. The main reason I messaged her to chat was to chat, nothing else. I hardly get to talk to her because she's not often around. But now I feel like I can't even talk to her without bringing the wrong message/vibe, let alone hang out with her. It's so frustrating, because if I did what I did to her to a guy, we'd be friends already.
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Old 12th October 2017, 11:26 AM   #32
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Last thing I'm gonna say. I was at the pub tonight and we were kind of avoiding each other I think. I know I was. Then towards the end of the night, out of the blue, she rubbed my shoulder and said bye and walked off. I looked behind me slowly and saw her waving at me while walking and I waved back. Nothing to read into right?
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Old 12th October 2017, 11:29 AM   #33
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Just talk to the woman already! She's avoiding you because she has concluded that you don't like her & she's embarrassed. But actually TALK to her earlier in the evening when you are both sober. Do not messenger her.
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Old 12th October 2017, 3:13 PM   #34
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Last thing I'm gonna say. I was at the pub tonight and we were kind of avoiding each other I think. I know I was. Then towards the end of the night, out of the blue, she rubbed my shoulder and said bye and walked off. I looked behind me slowly and saw her waving at me while walking and I waved back. Nothing to read into right?
I think that she did that because she could see that you got the message that she wasn’t interested and so she felt comfortable being more friendly because you seemed to understand that it was only as friends.

I don’t know how old you are, but since you’re in college, you have to get used to interacting with women as women. It doesn’t matter that you could’ve acted that way with a guy and been his friend, she’s not a guy, your behavior needs to be different.

I think where you went wrong was calling her “hun,” knocking on her door late at night, and texting and inviting her to your room late at night. Whether you meant it to or not, it comes off as you wanted to hook up.

Since you only want to be friends, why don’t you text her only during the day, invite her to do friend activities like study together, stop inviting her to your room late at night.
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Old 12th October 2017, 6:20 PM   #35
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When she told you there was nothing going on that weekend, that was the perfect opportunity to say, "Yeah, it's going to be quiet. Why don't you and I find something to do?" without sticking your neck out too far. She has told you "tired" or "busy" more than once, so I'm saying she's lukewarm and nothing more.
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Old 12th October 2017, 8:57 PM   #36
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She kinda gave me a sorry/sad look as she waved. Mixture of the 2.
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Old 13th October 2017, 2:34 AM   #37
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She kinda gave me a sorry/sad look as she waved. Mixture of the 2.
Which backs up what Yosemite posted above.

I think you'd be best to back off though, she has an impression of you now, not a great one.
I think you should stop texting and keep it to speaking to her when you see her.
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Old 13th October 2017, 3:34 AM   #38
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I haven't messaged her in a week. I've been kinda avoiding her and scared to even look at her for the past week. Tuesday, I was drunk and gave her the wave and yesterday was the goodbye wave.
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Old 13th October 2017, 11:16 AM   #39
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She hasn't told anyone about me.
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Old 13th October 2017, 1:03 PM   #40
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She hasn't told anyone about me.


What is there to tell? You are some guy who lives in her dorm who is her FB friend.


If you want to be more you need to talk to her earlier in the day while sober. I really don't get why you are seemingly incapable of doing this.
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Old 14th October 2017, 9:31 AM   #41
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She hasn't told anyone about me.
Her life doesn't revolve around you so why would she?

You're her neighbour and acquaintance who got a bit ott with a foot in the door and late night (when she was asleep) texts just now is all.
She doesn't see you as a threat, she just isn't into you but is pretty aware that you are into her.

If you're too scared to speak to her I can't see how this will be a friendship or anything else.
Maybe best to move on and find someone else to crush on.
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Old 14th October 2017, 12:17 PM   #42
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It sounds to me like she knew you were interested and she didn't feel the same, so she backed off to let you down gently. She may come around to being friends if you back off and give more of a friend vibe. But imo it's difficult to be friends if one person has feelings for the other. I'd be inclined to let this one go and move on.
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Old 15th October 2017, 3:16 AM   #43
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Honestly one final thing. I run a radio show at the uni, and I made a segment called love song dedications. I ran a survey asking people to dedicate a song to someone if they want. She dedicated the song "Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. She wrote "For putting in a lot of effort into the dorm and making me feel welcomed". Anything to read into that? Maybe she doesn't know I'm into her?

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Old 15th October 2017, 3:32 AM   #44
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Honestly one final thing. I run a radio show at the uni, and I made a segment called love song dedications. I ran a survey asking people to dedicate a song to someone if they want. She dedicated the song "Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. She wrote "For putting in a lot of effort into the dorm and making me feel welcomed". Anything to read into that?
It's best never to assume things like this are about you.

If she has suddenly changed, is not avoiding you but rather seeking you out, is talking to you a lot and keeping in touch then perhaps it is about you.
If she hasn't done that then I would suggest this is about someone else.

It's more likely to be the person she has been interacting the majority of her time with, a new found friend.
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Old 15th October 2017, 3:35 AM   #45
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She wrote my name
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