LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > Friends and Lovers

Reading sign from girls.


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Like Tree37Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11th October 2017, 9:26 AM   #16
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,155
It's college & you live in a dorm. 11 pm is hardly late. Conventional dating "rules" & practices don't apply. College is way less structured. It's more about hanging out & hooking up then deciding if you want to keep doing that.


I'm not sure how to interpret last night's pub interaction but that is the most negative thing I saw. The rest is just kind of neutral.


I am disheartened that living on a dorm floor young people today resort to messaging to communicate. Way back in the dark ages, people just kept their doors open & floormates wandered in & out. If the door was closed that meant somebody was studying or changing & to keep out.


Keep being friendly & see what happens.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 11:36 AM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 72
She was drunk at the pub. Does that make a difference?
HopelessNick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 11:53 AM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 72
And the one thing i don't get the most is this.

"I told her that I've knocked on her door a couple of times for a chat and she told me to message her if there’s no answer."

Why would she say that?
HopelessNick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 11:54 AM   #19
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,155
Yes, her being intoxicated makes a difference. Few people behave like their normal selves under the influence.


Keep chatting with her.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:04 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 72
I'm scared to talk to her now
HopelessNick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:07 PM   #21
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,155
Why are you scared to talk to her now? All I am suggesting you do is say


Hi!

  • How was your day? or
  • What are you dressing up as for Halloween? or
  • Are you ready for exams? or
  • Did you see last night's game?

Very low key open ended friendly Qs to start a conversation. Don't push yourself on her but don't be afraid of her either.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:11 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 72
Why did this girl change her behaviour as soon as I send her the first message?

I like this girl and I think she knows. We live in a dorm and she’s my neighbor. We’re acquaintances.

She used to be very enthusiastic when she saw me and gave me massive waves or smiles.

We also used to have really good chats, like we seemed to enjoy each other's company. It was only at the pub though.

However, one night, I messaged her for the first time saying “Did you get back safely hun? Just making sure.” She replied the next morning “I did! Thanks for checking up on me.” I've also asked her to chat a couple of times, and even though she said no, they were perfectly good reasons. Since then, I feel like she's changed. No more enthusiastic greetings. She seems kind of closed off too.

Why the sudden change in behaviour since I messaged her for the first time?

Last edited by HopelessNick; 11th October 2017 at 2:29 PM..
HopelessNick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:14 PM   #23
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 72
I'm scared because I have a feeling she doesn't want to talk to me and I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

She used to be very enthusiastic when she saw me and gave me massive waves or smiles. We also used to have really good chats, like we seemed to enjoy each other's company.

But since I messaged her for the first time, I feel like her behaviour changed. Like, I don't get those waves or smiles anymore.
HopelessNick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:17 PM   #24
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,155
Just use the conversation starters I gave you when you see her in person. Stop psyching yourself out.


I suspect that she may be pulling back because you haven't made a move & now she thinks you don't like her. Go back to being friendly & see what happens.


Throw a floor party -- even if it's just to pig out on junk food -- & invite her along with lots of other friends. See how she reacts.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 2:33 PM   #25
Member
 
heretoh3lp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 17
There isn't really a method to the madness, in this case. There could be a multitude of reasons why she seems closed off. Maybe she realized she wasn't interested, maybe there were some personal things that put her in an off mood.

Leave it alone. I know its hard if you like the person, but if things get sorted with her and she's genuinely interested, she will contact you after some time.

Good luck.
heretoh3lp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 3:08 PM   #26
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 72
I saw her at the pub last night. I was sitting down chatting. When she walked past me, I gave her a big wave. She took a quick look at me and continued walking while giving me a little wave that wasn't really a wave.

I realized she was probably busy because when I looked at where she was going, she was actually comforting a friend. After that, she walked round the back of the bar while looking in my direction for a couple of seconds. There was no expression on her face.

Do you think that counts as avoiding me? I'm scared to talk to her now.
HopelessNick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 4:06 PM   #27
Member
 
heretoh3lp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopelessNick View Post
I saw her at the pub last night. I was sitting down chatting. When she walked past me, I gave her a big wave. She took a quick look at me and continued walking while giving me a little wave that wasn't really a wave.

I realized she was probably busy because when I looked at where she was going, she was actually comforting a friend. After that, she walked round the back of the bar while looking in my direction for a couple of seconds. There was no expression on her face.

Do you think that counts as avoiding me? I'm scared to talk to her now.
I think that she either had a lot going on or something is wrong. Talk to her about it. If you try and she puts your off, let it go, let her go. She will come to you if she's interested and she will tell you if something is really wrong.
heretoh3lp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th October 2017, 4:42 PM   #28
Established Member
 
MajesticUnicorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 175
Is this about the same girl that you posted about a few days ago? If so, it is clear from your previous thread that she is not interested. This interaction just reaffirms that.

Sorry if that's harsh, but I think you should move on, it's for your own good.
MajesticUnicorn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th October 2017, 1:41 AM   #29
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 5,313
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopelessNick View Post
I saw her at the pub last night. I was sitting down chatting. When she walked past me, I gave her a big wave. She took a quick look at me and continued walking while giving me a little wave that wasn't really a wave.

I realized she was probably busy because when I looked at where she was going, she was actually comforting a friend. After that, she walked round the back of the bar while looking in my direction for a couple of seconds. There was no expression on her face.

Do you think that counts as avoiding me? I'm scared to talk to her now.
That's how I would behave if I was avoiding a guy, yes.
Minor engagement such as she displayed tends to get the message across.
GemmaUK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th October 2017, 2:33 AM   #30
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 72
So the fact she was drunk doesn't make a difference? Also, does this mean, I can't even have a conversation with her anymore?
HopelessNick is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Light hearted: What is your astrological sign versus the sign of your partner? CarboniteCammy Marriage & Life Partnerships 6 29th June 2012 11:02 AM
Am I on 'Friend Territory' / Reading the sign's! picaso28 In Search Of... 2 23rd June 2012 2:47 PM
Is touchy flirting a sign for wanting sex or is it just a sign of interest? PlumPrincess Dating 10 16th May 2012 2:07 AM
Reading 'shy' girls? MikeyC Dating 3 9th June 2009 10:45 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 4:43 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.