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-   -   Should I contact him? (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/636762-should-i-contact-him)

abedele 6th October 2017 1:41 AM

Should I contact him?
 
So here's the story: A year ago during the summer I met a guy (we're both 25) from my hometown, we hung out mostly at his or my home, fooled around. Suddenly he became really flaky and cold, then we stopped contacting each other. (Maybe I was being too clingy) I moved away to another city, and he suddenly wanted to see me when he came to the same city to visit his friends. But he was too flaky and I ended up ditching him. In december, I contacted him cause I went back to my hometown during the christmas. We decided to meet, but the day we were going to see each other he stopped answering. And we didnt have contact for about 6 months until the summer, he started liking my old profile pics on facebook from nowhere, and then he contacted me. We met when I got back to my hometown for summer break, hung out like usually, but this time it felt different. We messaged each other almost everyday, unlike last summer when we only messaged each other when we wanted to meet. It felt like we built a connection, I even met two of his friends. When the summer break ended I had to go back to the place where I study, and we stopped contacting each other. I tried sending him some snaps but got no response. Went back to hometown to visit my family and also him. I kind of told him that I didnt see any point in meeting anymore 'cause the whole thing felt pointless plus I live in another city. He commented that he never really thought about it but it works out for him cause he works and study a lot during his free time. At the same time he hinted that he would like to stay single. This was in September. Before we said our goodbyes we held onto each other tightly and kissed goodbye for so long like we didnt want to separate, it confused me and it felt like something more than a regular fwb relationship. I told him I would be back in October, and he said to contact him then. After that we did nt have any contact at all.

Now I'm back in my hometown again, contemplating if I should contact him like he said. But at the same time we havent had any contact at all for a month, and I put up a snap on mystory that I was in town so if he really was interested he should have contacted me? Also it kinda feels pointless because I wont be getting anything out of it since he hinted he wanted to be single and I live in another city so all odds are against us, I feel like I would only fall deeper for him since I already have some kind of feelings for him. But at the same time I miss him and really want to see him.

I dont know what to do anymore, its been back and forth for a year. I'm so afraid of getting rejection and not be able to see him anymore or losing him to someone else. So yeah, any inputs or advice?

Zahara 6th October 2017 6:27 AM

You can't lose him because you never really had him. It was casual to him. He's not as invested as you are and he's shown that to you numerous times.

Contacting him will keep on perpetuating the rejection you've been feeling and the cycle of uncertainty.

You need to let him go and move on.

d0nnivain 6th October 2017 1:02 PM

Contact him if you like but be prepared for him to flake again. That seems to be his pattern.

preraph 6th October 2017 2:07 PM

Why on earth would you want to keep up with this guy? He doesn't care about you and has just let you know that over and over. He's not going to magically change, so just leave him alone and move on to someone who likes you back.


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