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Ex-FWB blocked me on Facebook


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 25th September 2017, 1:33 PM   #1
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Ex-FWB blocked me on Facebook

Hey all,


So I made a post about this ongoing fling I had with an older woman I have known for many years. Well, even though the fling ended months ago, we kept in touch all of Summer and even up until now. At first it felt like she was stringing me along, but even though I am half her age, she is a friend that I have known for quite sometime. But I think what happened was she didn't know how to truly end it, nor did part of her want it to end. We kept our FB interaction to a minimum so people that knew us wouldn't question us.


Now, I have always struggle with my weight. In 2014 I finally did something about it, and I have lost 117 lbs since then. Lately I have noticed multiple women that turned me down a few years ago suddenly find me attractive and want me. Even ones that know I am aware they have said nasty and disgusting comments about me to other people. So I made a post on FB about how messed up society is and how classic this behavior can be. Out of nowhere she makes the first comment. She said I was being a little harsh and that people like a balance of looks and personality. I defended my post and explained to her why I feel that way. She ended up making my post go viral and I got over 30 likes and 35 comments. It actually turned into a good discussion. The next day I texted her and asked her what made her decide to comment.


She told me she felt like the post was directed towards her, as well as some of my posts I have recently made. She says me going out for lunch with a female friend was a jab at her because she won't spend time with me anymore. She always brings up this particular girl and has said in the past that we should date because we make a cute couple. She assumes my positive statuses about rising up from dark times were about her, and all my other uplifting posts. Even after me explaining to her about the current post she commented on by telling her the recent incidents that happened to me, she doesn't fully believe me. Her only argument was, "well, in your comment, you said you tried taking them out for coffee or lunch. You tried doing that with me so I figured it was me you were talking about."


I told her once more none of these posts are about her. I told her I am just trying to live my life and enjoy it and do me. I also told her how it's funny during the fling she kept telling me I need to find someone my age and date, and here I am doing that, and suddenly it's an issue. She thinks I am lying about trying to get back into the dating world. Well, we argued about it all week. I told her that I bet if I pulled this stunt on her, she would be pissed and would spaz out. I asked her how would she like it if I attacked her and made a bunch of assumptions about posts she make, and how she would feel. Well, once I said that, she decided to block me and said she didn't want me on FB anymore. We did talk it out, and we are ok, but she said she can't add me back on FB because she can't go another day seeing my posts and having to sit there and pick them apart to figure out if they are about her. I honestly feel like its bull****. I am over here doing me living life and suddenly she has an issue with one status about women checking me out?


I feel like this is bigger than what she claims it is. I also feel like she knows damn well it wasn't about her, but made it about her for her own reasons. I also suspect there's a hidden message behind her actions. We still have each other's phone numbers as well.


Can anyone provide some insight?
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Old 25th September 2017, 2:20 PM   #2
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I just wonder why you care? Is being blocked from Facebook such an earth shattering event? She sounds a bit narcissistic thinking everything you post is about her. Maybe you should block her too.
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Old 25th September 2017, 3:43 PM   #3
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She was angry & reacted.


Let things calm down. Call her in a few weeks.
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Old 26th September 2017, 6:48 AM   #4
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So some chick you used to have sex with got pissed off, argued with you on social media, and then blocked you. So what? Who cares? Just move on with your life, do you, and stop worrying about what peripherals think.
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Old 26th September 2017, 11:36 AM   #5
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I made a previous post called "FWB is sending me mixed signals." I have known this woman for 11 years and we have always had a thing for each other. We ended up falling into a gray area and it felt like a relationship, and even after it was over, we both had trouble walking away from it. That's why it matters.
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Old 26th September 2017, 11:46 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by MJJean View Post
So some chick you used to have sex with got pissed off, argued with you on social media, and then blocked you. So what? Who cares? Just move on with your life, do you, and stop worrying about what peripherals think.

That was basically what I was getting at. If this was just a fling, why does she care so much?

Last edited by Ice Man; 26th September 2017 at 11:47 AM.. Reason: Typos
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Old 26th September 2017, 3:50 PM   #7
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The bigger question is why do you care that she cares? You cant control her, you can only control yourself. So why do you care?
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Old 26th September 2017, 6:25 PM   #8
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The bigger question is why do you care that she cares? You cant control her, you can only control yourself. So why do you care?


I care because we fell into a gray area while we had our arrangement going on. We acted like a couple. I do have some feelings for her, but I know she does too and is scared to admit it. If she didn't have feelings, she wouldn't have pulled this stunt. Not to mention she said she doesn't mind if we keep each other's numbers to say hi once in awhile. It just doesn't make sense.
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Old 26th September 2017, 7:33 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Ice Man View Post
I made a previous post called "FWB is sending me mixed signals." I have known this woman for 11 years and we have always had a thing for each other. We ended up falling into a gray area and it felt like a relationship, and even after it was over, we both had trouble walking away from it. That's why it matters.
Why did you end it? You say that it felt like you fell into a grey area and that it felt like a relationship. You then say that you both had problems walking away. Why arenīt you in a relationship with each other? Why fight it?

To be honest it sounds to me like you both care for each other, and that she gets upset when you communicate with other women. There could be a number of reasons why she is behaving the way she is and pulled away from you, but perhaps the age thing is causing her some concern and insecurity? If you have feelings for someone half your own age, and that person happens to lose a lot of weight and gets lots of attention and added confidence, perhaps she thinks that she doesnīt stand a chance with you?

Having known each other for as long as you have, she has seen the change that has been going on with you, and although itīs all very positive for you, she feels threatened by it. Donīt get me wrong, as she is probably very happy for you and the changes you have gone through! None the less, itīs an adjustment for the both of you.

I happen to know of a lot of people who have lost a lot of weight after being overweight for a long time. (my job) These people have often struggled in their relationships / marriages after weight loss, because thereīs a shift in the dynamic for some reason. Weight loss can be a huge boost to someoneīs confidence and personality and that can be a big adjustment for their partner, friends and / or family. Itīs not that your surroundings arenīt happy for you or support you, but itīs a big deal, because you arenīt the same person you were, physically and mentally. Anyone who says that their personality hasnīt changed in some way after a big change like that, are in most cases not aware of it or lying.

Your friend has known you for 11 years, warts and all. I think she cares a lot about you but she lost her confidence. Perhaps you should look more inwards and ask yourself. "Am I the same person I was 11 years ago?"

Last edited by Lostweekend; 26th September 2017 at 7:38 PM..
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Old 26th September 2017, 8:59 PM   #10
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Why did you end it? You say that it felt like you fell into a grey area and that it felt like a relationship. You then say that you both had problems walking away. Why arenīt you in a relationship with each other? Why fight it?

To be honest it sounds to me like you both care for each other, and that she gets upset when you communicate with other women. There could be a number of reasons why she is behaving the way she is and pulled away from you, but perhaps the age thing is causing her some concern and insecurity? If you have feelings for someone half your own age, and that person happens to lose a lot of weight and gets lots of attention and added confidence, perhaps she thinks that she doesnīt stand a chance with you?

Having known each other for as long as you have, she has seen the change that has been going on with you, and although itīs all very positive for you, she feels threatened by it. Donīt get me wrong, as she is probably very happy for you and the changes you have gone through! None the less, itīs an adjustment for the both of you.

I happen to know of a lot of people who have lost a lot of weight after being overweight for a long time. (my job) These people have often struggled in their relationships / marriages after weight loss, because thereīs a shift in the dynamic for some reason. Weight loss can be a huge boost to someoneīs confidence and personality and that can be a big adjustment for their partner, friends and / or family. Itīs not that your surroundings arenīt happy for you or support you, but itīs a big deal, because you arenīt the same person you were, physically and mentally. Anyone who says that their personality hasnīt changed in some way after a big change like that, are in most cases not aware of it or lying.

Your friend has known you for 11 years, warts and all. I think she cares a lot about you but she lost her confidence. Perhaps you should look more inwards and ask yourself. "Am I the same person I was 11 years ago?"

Wow, I love your response! She told me we can't continue this because she didn't see the point in continuing a sexual relationship if it can't be serious. She said we can't be together due to the age difference. Also because I know who her daughter is. I'm not her friend, but I guess it bugs her. I also had a feeling the real issue at hand was because she has it in her mind that I can easily choose whoever I want. I could also go back to every girl that turned me down if I really wanted to as well. Even though I won't, she must feel that way.

I truly think she wants me but is scared. I can understand her fears but I have told her I would love to have a relationship with her. We fell into a gray area because she said we didn't need to worry about boundaries and labels. She said we have too much history and are too custom for that. So it felt like a relationship because of that. People keep telling me she most likely will contact me in a month or so.

Last edited by Ice Man; 26th September 2017 at 9:00 PM.. Reason: Forgot to add something.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 9:05 AM   #11
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So I'm an IT Pro, and I've decided to start a computer repair business on the side. While calling people in my phone to spread the word, I called her by mistake. I quickly hung up; I get a text a half hour later. She texted me saying hi and asked what I wanted, so I decided to just tell her about the business. She said she would spread the word to her friends and family. She told me how she's been having issues with her printer, so I said I would be more than happy to take a look.

Next thing you know, we are casually talking about what we have been up to, and she even brought up how she's been stepping her game up in terms of eating healthier as well. We texted back and forth for about a half hour. So I guess things are ok? It's just weird because it's like we never even fought.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 9:13 AM   #12
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So you accidentally called her.
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Old 2nd October 2017, 10:11 AM   #13
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So you accidentally called her.


Lmao I swear man! That's what I get for having a few people with the same name in my phone and not categorizing them better,
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Old 11th October 2017, 7:13 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Lostweekend View Post
Why did you end it? You say that it felt like you fell into a grey area and that it felt like a relationship. You then say that you both had problems walking away. Why arenīt you in a relationship with each other? Why fight it?

To be honest it sounds to me like you both care for each other, and that she gets upset when you communicate with other women. There could be a number of reasons why she is behaving the way she is and pulled away from you, but perhaps the age thing is causing her some concern and insecurity? If you have feelings for someone half your own age, and that person happens to lose a lot of weight and gets lots of attention and added confidence, perhaps she thinks that she doesnīt stand a chance with you?

Having known each other for as long as you have, she has seen the change that has been going on with you, and although itīs all very positive for you, she feels threatened by it. Donīt get me wrong, as she is probably very happy for you and the changes you have gone through! None the less, itīs an adjustment for the both of you.

I happen to know of a lot of people who have lost a lot of weight after being overweight for a long time. (my job) These people have often struggled in their relationships / marriages after weight loss, because thereīs a shift in the dynamic for some reason. Weight loss can be a huge boost to someoneīs confidence and personality and that can be a big adjustment for their partner, friends and / or family. Itīs not that your surroundings arenīt happy for you or support you, but itīs a big deal, because you arenīt the same person you were, physically and mentally. Anyone who says that their personality hasnīt changed in some way after a big change like that, are in most cases not aware of it or lying.

Your friend has known you for 11 years, warts and all. I think she cares a lot about you but she lost her confidence. Perhaps you should look more inwards and ask yourself. "Am I the same person I was 11 years ago?"

So two Sundays ago we talked like we never fought. This past weekend however, she never respond to me.

Last edited by Ice Man; 11th October 2017 at 7:13 PM.. Reason: Typo
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Old 11th October 2017, 7:16 PM   #15
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Why were you trying to contact her?
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