LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Transitioning > Friends and Lovers

My crush got a new boyfriend and she knew I liked her. What do I do?


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Like Tree18Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 17th September 2017, 12:47 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 12
My crush got a new boyfriend and she knew I liked her. What do I do?

She began dating him 2 weeks ago and they have only seen each other twice. A friend of mine and theirs hooked them up (I think).

She knows I like her because I texted her that I liked her and I was sorry for making her feel uncomfortable (her now ex told me that she said I made her really uncomfortable) and that she could choose if we could still be friends.
She replied with I shouldn't be silly and she never felt uncomfortable, I was really friendly and that her boyfriend made that up and she was really embarrassed, I shouldn't be sorry and we "of course we can still be friends."

I have texted her off and on since then and talked to her about random stuff and she seemed somewhat interested in me, she was playing with her hair and smiling and stuff.

I was snap chatting her this weekend and she kept replying and today she sent a pic of her new bf.

Do I just completely ignore her to see what happens? Kind of a hot and cold thing? I'm just really confused about it all really. Was she just being nice?
Did I have a chance? etc. All in all, it's pretty frustrating.
throwaway1224ep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th September 2017, 3:29 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17,447
I'm going to assume you do make her uncomfortable too uncomfortable to be honest with you about it. If you told her you liked her did you also ask her out or not? That's the only way to know for sure.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th September 2017, 5:26 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,819
When you like a girl you ask her out on
a date. End of story.

Apologizing, lets be friends, can we still be friends
is acting very weak. Being weak turns women off.
They see you as weak and they will never date you.
road is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18th September 2017, 2:22 AM   #4
Established Member
 
PegNosePete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 8,848
You are well and truly friend zoned. She will never date you. And since you are her friend, it is fairly normal for her to share happy pics of her and her BF. That is what friends do.

Now if you can accept this situation, then you can carry on being friends. If you can't accept it, then you have to break the friendship. those are your only options, really.
__________________
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
-- Douglas Adams
PegNosePete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th September 2017, 5:12 PM   #5
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 34
you do nothing. you can choose to be friends or not and that is it.
itsanything is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2017, 10:12 AM   #6
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 24,693
She only wants to be your friend. She has no romantic interest in you. Because you like her as more then a friend, put some distance in here. You don't have to be mean or go NC but be a lot less available. Put her on in-follow on all social media so her stuff doesn't automatically pop up in your feed & stop initiating contact with her.

Meanwhile try to find yourself someone else to date.
knabe and MyOphelia like this.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st September 2017, 10:19 AM   #7
Established Member
 
knabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,182
She didn't do anything to you. There is nothing confusing about this. You like her, but she doesn't feel the same. She dated someone she DOES like. No need for some weird game. It's a very straightforward situation. You are her friend, nothing more.
__________________
“Here's what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we're worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
knabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 12:59 PM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 12
How do I tell her we can't just be friends?

I truly love this girl and she knows. She has a boyfriend and I told her I liked her and I would like if we stayed friends. I said this because i felt I had made her uncomfortable as her ex made up **** about me and said she said it. That text was about a month ago. (I can send if wanted)

She has been hot and cold, friendly enough to talk and when she does she smiles, laughs and sometimes plays with her hair but she usually ignores me, I ignore her too. Today she went to smile at me but stopped herself and looked away.

But I can't do it. I can't be her friend. It hurts when I see photos of them together and it makes me anxious and think irrationally (sometimes suicidal) which I never did before. It's really had a bad effect on me. She is in most of my classes and is in my form, which doesn't help from an awkwardness perspective. She also comes in late and stays with her friends all day so I can't get her by herself, it will have to be text if I do tell her.

Please help me, I don't think I can stand this much longer.
throwaway1224ep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 1:13 PM   #9
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 24,693
You don't have to tell her anything. She knows you like her. She knows she has a BF. She will fully understand if you just fade away. So do so. Sit away from her in front of her in class. Unfollow her on social media. Find new hobbies.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th September 2017, 1:35 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Mike B.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South of nowhere
Posts: 461
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
You don't have to tell her anything. She knows you like her. She knows she has a BF. She will fully understand if you just fade away. So do so. Sit away from her in front of her in class. Unfollow her on social media. Find new hobbies.
This right here.
Mike B. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th September 2017, 5:31 PM   #11
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 12
Why would my crush and her friend be discussing whether I hate my crush or not?

I overheard them talk about me hating my crush because she got a new boyfriend. (I don't hate her lol) She knows I like her. Her friend said I probably didn't as I wasn't "selfish enough".

They were definitely talking about me because they said my name and when I walked past them, they went silent and her friend laughed. I pretended I didn't hear anything.

I have ignored her since I found out about the new guy but we still talk now and again. We look down when walking past each other and sometimes she fixes her hair or gasps.
throwaway1224ep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th September 2017, 5:37 PM   #12
Established Member
 
coolheadal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 2,881
Walk with confidence... Don't let them nick pick at you like that, you don't stood to their level. In the end is what makes you happen. Remember that!
__________________
Age doesn't matter, but Love does matter! Which love it's the magical one "I love you" also I am in love with you" More powerful than anyone age! If you really love that person you are so interested in you would move heavens and mountains to reach them!'
coolheadal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th September 2017, 5:45 PM   #13
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 24,693
P.T. Barnum once said, "there is no such thing as bad publicity." They are talking about you because they are thinking about you. So far she hasn't dumped her BF for you but you never know. Don't hold out hope. Do live your life & date others but you never know.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th September 2017, 6:26 PM   #14
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by coolheadal View Post
Walk with confidence... Don't let them nick pick at you like that, you don't stood to their level. In the end is what makes you happen. Remember that!
Thing is, they were wondering why I hated her. Which I don't. I gave her a cold shoulder once or twice but that is it.
throwaway1224ep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th September 2017, 7:18 PM   #15
Established Member
 
kendahke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: 38.978447, -77.018515
Posts: 5,677
Quote:
Originally Posted by throwaway1224ep View Post
Thing is, they were wondering why I hated her.
Because that's what silly girls do.
__________________
"People treat you the way they feel about you" ~ Derrick Jaxn

Peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of home--when you have all 3 you've got gold.
kendahke is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I have a crush on my coworker but I have a boyfriend MapleWish The Other Man / Woman 8 12th November 2013 12:36 AM
Crush has a boyfriend, no what PrisonedMuffin Dating 1 21st February 2011 7:29 PM
Boyfriend...and a Crush abbeyjayne Friends and Lovers 4 19th November 2008 4:58 PM
does my boyfriend has a crush on her? kandygirl Dating 1 16th August 2007 12:19 PM
my crush has a boyfriend ronfar10 Dating 1 1st August 2005 8:17 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:34 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.