What am I missing here ??

[Kamila]

Hi, so I'd like some insight in a man's behaviour towards me. We have known each other for a long time, say a couple of years through work. Our relationship in the beginning was easy, breazy, nothing to worry about. He was timid and reserved.

 

After a couple of weeks, I noticed him trying to make small talk outside of work, but I tried to stay polite and professional by not taking it any further. We were still getting along well, it was nice and fun. Suddenly this contact we had escalated a bit, a bit of flirting on his part, but again I blocked it smoothly and nicely. I thought he was just amusing himself by teasing me. He also told me he's not serious and all. A couple of times, I asked him to back away due to work and all. He did.

 

Again, I just went along and didn't worry about it. But he couldn't let go I guess. He added me on FB and chatted further with me. Only difference now is we aren't working together anymore.

 

I last ate with him and old colleagues a couple of months ago. Just before, we talked a couple of times on the phone to make dinner reservations and talk about each other's lives. It was nice and all, I thought we could be friends. Only downside was during dinner, well it was nice, but he was a bit stressed and borderline obnoxious. So, i just ignored his behavior and i noticed him staring at me.

At the counter, we waited to pay for the bill, he just stood there for 5 minutes waiting to pay, he almost was in a hurry to leave. He didn't look at me, nor talked to me, it was very awkward. (At the phone before everything was fine.)

 

Outside I tried talking about the weather and all to him, he replied but very weird. He distanced himself from me with a colleague. I didn't try to keep up with his pace, but let him be. He turned again to me and looked for a minute while i walked down to him. Then he told the group 'see you tomorrow'. Again not a single look from him. That's it ...

 

What ** ?

[Zahara]

You both had a cordial conversation over the phone and after that he was probably anticipating a different response from you at dinner (maybe interest) only to realize much was still the same so he was pouty. His ego is likely a little bruised and he feels somewhat rejected.

[preraph]

He's sulled up because you're not interested in him. He's acting like an unprofessional baby and if he keeps it up, report it to HR.

[loverboy69]

Just leave the guy alone. Let him get over it.

 

You don't work together anymore so if you have zero feelings for him let it go.

[caveman621]

He's crushing on you and is upset that you don't feel the same way about him and he doesn't know how to act with this emotion. I think the only thing to do here is no contact. If you continue to keep in touch with him he'll probably run hot and cold, but he'll keep trying. If you have absolutely NO interest in a romantic relationship with him it's probably best to just sever the whole relationship.

[Kamila]

I never said I didn't have any emotions for him. There was a time when I did and he blew me off. I asked him if he had a relationship with someone and he didn't answer me. So I thought he's just playing with me and didn't bother anymore. He also told me he's not a serious guy, so again I respected his point of view and let him be.

 

It's not that I didn't have any emotions for him, I just can't read the guy. He's like some poster said 'hot 'n cold'. It's a brainache I'd like to avoid with low cost. Now what is he complaining about ? I'm also on the line here if he keeps acting like that... Well thank you for your comments dear posters. I thought I was being unreasonable with him, but now I have a different point of view... I'll leave the guy be. Otherwise I might buy him chocolates and flowers and drop it at his work ...