Get over long term crush?

[anxiousfool]

Hi all,

 

I wanted to ask about a certain minor dilemma, or rather I think I'm sure about the situation but wanted to just ask for another opinion from another viewpoint.

 

To preface, as my username implies, I'm fairly anxious as in new situations or around new people. I'm pretty sure I have mild social anxiety, as in I'm anxious when I meet someone new or when I'm around some girls, for no reason that I could figure out. I would say I'm pretty sociable with friends and random people I meet on the street, however there are some people that I just for no apparent reason become an anxious fool.

 

But anyway to start, I'm about to become a senior and there is this girl in my same major who I had a long time crush on. She is really nice and humble and introverted, I guess that's what I found attractive. Unlike me, who used to pretty much go out to bars and parties and events, she didn't party much. However, despite this I became a blathering idiot when I tried talking with her. My anxiety prevented me from interacting with her as a normal human being most days, instead I would word vomit when I talked to her and afterwards would wonder about what the heck did I just say. However there were times, as in when I had a beer or two or after the gym, that I would have anxiety fade and I could talk normally and joke with her. I, or rather my friends, could tell there may be mutual attraction. They would then tell me to ask her out, which I really tried but failed everytime. I would start asking her but then I would blurt out some stupid thing and the conversation would die (again I have no idea why I would say most of the things when I was anxious). I also tried starting a conversation with her over text but I had no idea what to say or would say something stupid and that would die too after 1 or 2 messages. I kept telling myself I would try asking her out tomorrow, no the next day, no next week with little success. I managed to ask her out to group event with my and her friends, however I kicked myself for it being a group event the next day. I know some of her friends and she knows some of mine and we would hang out a couple times to work on homework and stuff and joke a little here and there, however for the most part I was the quiet one (even though my friends say I'm very chatty amongst them). Anyway fall and spring semester came and went and I failed to make any moves.

 

This summer I got an internship offer at a famous rocket company in LA and moved to the west coast to build rockets. I thought that was that, I failed to make a move and I screwed up and there's nothing else I can do so I was just going to try and enjoy the sun, not think about and work on myself. However she added me on snapchat and through it we were able to communicate once in a while with random pictures and text. I don't know if it's the California sun or something but I actually felt normal talking and snapping with her over snapchat. Eventually she messaged me something over text and surprisingly I was able to reply and chat unlike before. This time I was able to keep the conversation going for a few days, granted she took 1 hour - 1 day to respond, we are pretty much in very different time zones. Her replies however were pretty lengthy, and my replies too in return. Eventually she would text me a long essay and I would text her back the same. The essay long texts took a while to read and think about what to say, however I enjoyed talking and responding, and I would also take some time to reply. I was thinking of using this opportunity to build up repertoire and hopefully get the guts to ask her out when I come back for senior year. However after some time, it took her a week to respond to a text, the text was still an essay about random things I mentioned in the previous text. Recently, she hasn't replied to my text in over 2 weeks. She also hasn't sent anything on snapchat or viewed my numerous stories (I noticed she was one of the top 3-4 people to see something every time I posted something previously). Though I've seen her post random stuff on facebook in the mean time. I'm not sure what to make of it. Did I screw up by not asking her over text and she got bored of reading/replying to essays? Did she maybe realize that I was interested in her and decided to completely pull back? I haven't messaged her since last time, mostly because I was thinking if she's interested she would reply and if not, or if she's annoyed, then messaging more would only be worse.

 

But anyway, I thought there might have been a chance with her when I started texting her but now I realize that I most likely misinterpretted the situation and that I should just move on and not worry and enjoy the LA weather for the remainder of the summer. Also, I just had a beer and was bored and decided to type this up and see if there's another viewpoint I'm overlooking.

[preraph]

I hope you're not going to become an alcoholic because it makes you able to communicate. Any chance that every time you talked to her, you mentioned you were drinking and maybe that scared her away?

 

She probably did get tired of the long essays and decided to stop that. But maybe she won't stop entirely. How far away are you now? Are you within driving distance to date her or not? If not, I don't see the point of keeping it going.

[Cookiesandough]

In my experience the only way to get over a serious crush is to get another one. And it ALWAYS happens for me.

[anxiousfool]

I hope you're not going to become an alcoholic because it makes you able to communicate. Any chance that every time you talked to her, you mentioned you were drinking and maybe that scared her away?

 

Haha thanks for the concern but I've actually barely drank here in CA, it just feels different and easier to talk with people here. Also, nope, I haven't brought up anything alcohol related in our messaging. We mostly talked about California/traveling/summer plans and what not.

 

She probably did get tired of the long essays and decided to stop that. But maybe she won't stop entirely. How far away are you now? Are you within driving distance to date her or not? If not, I don't see the point of keeping it going.

 

Yea, that's kind of what I suspected, I kinda started feeling tiresome to reply. I still have interest in her and would be happy if something developed, but at this point I think I would be totally ok if nothing did. I'm pretty much on the opposite side of the country for the summer. We both go to school in Georgia and I'll be coming back for my senior year at the end of August. My plan was just not annoy her with more texts and try not to think about it and enjoy my summer, but I wanted to see if there were any other viewpoints.