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Trying to get over my FWB


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 18th May 2005, 1:07 PM   #1
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Trying to get over my FWB

My best friend of 3 years and I have lived next to each other for the last 6 months. We were on and off FWB for the last 1 1/2 years. I'm 25 and he's 26.

2 weeks ago, his LD g/f moved in with him and I've pretty much been a mess the last 2 weeks. If I'm home, I'm on the verge of tears or crying most of the time.

We both work nights so the last 6 months I would pretty much see him before or after work almost everyday.

The 1st week after she moved in, all we were doing was fighting... mostly about her. He wont leave her during the day and would only see me at night since I was up and it would be the best time for him.

He told me he wants the 3 of us to be able to hangout. I told him orginally I wasnt ok with this. That I didnt want to see him with his g/f. But I decided avoiding her is just causing problems for us so I would hangout with them.

Now this was a week ago and nothing has changed. He still completely ignores me during the day. He told me last week that if I continue to harass him about this, he will change his shift to days just to piss me off.

Monday night he came over, I had been crying before and he noticed. He kept asking me what was wrong and to talk to him. I didnt say anything.

I'm so upset, pissed off, I dont know what to do. When I'm away from home its easier to forget about things. But when I'm home and I know he is and I cant see him its driving me insane.

Any thoughts?
Thanks for reading this.
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Old 18th May 2005, 1:14 PM   #2
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Okay....well obviously I would stop seeing him. He has a girlfriend that lives with him........do you really want to be "that girl"? The kind of girl that continues to sleep with a man even though he has a committed relationship and the person is living with him?

You are upset because his girlfriend lives with him, is obviously sleeping with him, and he pays her more attention. Think about how she would feel if she knew he was cheating on her, with the girl who lives next door.

I think you deserve something better then just scraps of some guys time. I think you deserve better then a guy who feels the need to sleep with two girls, especially when he's in a committed relationship with one of them and the other is only his "friend."

I wouldn't waste my time on this guy, seriously.
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Old 18th May 2005, 1:17 PM   #3
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Honey what are you crying over?

This Guy to begin with cheats on his GF AND lies to her as well.. doesn't say good things about his character ya know?

Secondly.. yeah I'm sure he would like for you to all hang out because that would be great for HIM.. he's selfish.

Third, he says he'll change shifts just to piss you off? WTF tell him not to freakin hurt himself and that him changing shifts is a great idea it will save you from having to be around his dumb a**!

Stop talking to this sh*t! He isn't even your FRIEND nevermind the benefits..
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Old 18th May 2005, 1:19 PM   #4
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We're not FWB anymore since she moved in. We're just friends. Thats not why I'm upset. Seeing him before and afterwork was always my time to see him and now I've been replaced and I'm not very happy with that and not dealing with it well.
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Old 18th May 2005, 1:22 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by confused21
We're not FWB anymore since she moved in. We're just friends. Thats not why I'm upset. Seeing him before and afterwork was always my time to see him and now I've been replaced and I'm not very happy with that and not dealing with it well.
IMO You're not even Friends.. you wouldn't treat your Friend like sh*t right? So yeah..

AND honestly you haven't been replaced.. you were used to begin with.
He didn't replace you as his GF, it's that his agenda has changed because now that his GF has moved in with him he is STILL going to get HIS needs met sexually.
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Old 19th May 2005, 9:55 AM   #6
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The FWB stuff isnt really the issue. I miss my best friend. I tried to compromise and tell him I would be ok with hanging out with them but that was over a week ago and nothing has changed. He still only sees me when he gets home from work at night.

Now he hasnt even talked to me the last 2 days

I'm just so unhappy especially when I'm home when I know he's home and I cant see him.
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Old 19th May 2005, 10:00 AM   #7
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Well, his girlfriend is living with him now so his priorities are going to change.

I mean, he can't completely ignore her and he does see you when he gets the chance. I don't think there's really anything that you can do. Do you have any other friends you can hang out with?

I wouldn't complain to him about it though, that'll just make you seem clingy and dependent. I would go out and have fun, even if it's by yourself.
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Old 19th May 2005, 11:25 AM   #8
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I'm not saying for him to ignore her but he's been with her all day before he goes to work and on his days off for the last 2 weeks. The only time I get to see him is after midnight if he's awake enough afterwork.

I dont get why he told me that the 3 of us would have hungout from the beginning and when I tell him now I am ok with that a week ago he hasnt even asked me to hangout with them at all during the day.

We dont work traditional shiifts so we would hangout during the day when the rest of the world was working. So that had been my time with him for the last 6 months so I'm upset that it has been taken from me
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Old 24th May 2005, 3:07 PM   #9
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Seriously...there's someone else he has to make room for now...you really need to get off your needy behind and make some new friends...get a hobbie, any hobbie, join a club...do something, anthing for yourself. And if you're such best friends, you should be happy his girl has moved in to be with him.

Obviously cuz you don't wanna meet her cuz you're completely jealous and want to be with him, but that will never ever happen. He's not into you that way, or else in those 3 years, he would have wanted to take it to the next level...Seriously, a lot of people in this world are cool cats...ur young, go do something fun, not wait around for a night-cap redezvous.

Geez...I mean this in the best way possible, but stop moping like a sad girl who lost her puppy and get a life!
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Old 24th May 2005, 3:23 PM   #10
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Your problem is that FWB generally doesn't work - sooner or later, one side gets involved.
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